godfrey ho's ninja scroll

@fivetimeheights.bsky.social

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Recent fan of Dersu Uzala, where the main guy kind of looks like Harry Discoelysium. He/him, but only when it ruins your immersion.

Excerpt from a transcribed voice mail that says "Boy, uh, get on it about. Bahawak, hex up. Because w..."
cover art for the album "stillmatic". the rapper nas, wearing a bright orange tracksuit and cap, squats awkwardly next to a pigeon atop a brick wall. nas looks like he's been assembled from parts, and the new york city skyline can be seen in the distance under a blanket of dark clouds.
scene from "magnificent warriors", where michelle yeoh dressed in a bomber jacket proceeds to absolutely style on a sword-wielding goon. Yeoh eventually wraps the guy up and launches him like a beyblade.
A scene from the movie "Charisma". A woman and a man sit at a small table inside a cozy cabin. Big floor-to-ceiling windows show a deep forest.
a scene from "Charisma", where a woman walks past a man in a field, saying "Anyone who spends time here will go nuts, right?"
a scene from Ran, where footsoldiers in blue armor kneel in rows among trees, firing matchlock rifles wih bright red muzzle flashes. shit looks like star wars.
a scene from metal gear solid 3, where a wounded snake sees four helicopters carrying the "shagohod", a giant tank with drill arms
stardust apparitions of two men fighting in space. it's actually a scene from star trek the original series, from an episode called "the alternative factor"
everybody in dragonball z putting their hands up to lend goku their energy. you can actually see the energy form glowing balls of light.
A TV showing Ryu jump kick Vega in the original Street Fighter 2, leading to a perfect victory.
Josephine Siao in Fong Sai Yuk 2, eyes filled to the brim with tears, face drenched in sweat, and mouth twisted into an exaggerated pout. Someone off screen is narrating an extensive list of punishments, including getting turned into human pork buns, in response to a crime Josephine's character may or may not be guilty of.
A scene from Fong Sai Yuk, where the titular character's mother has like fifteen swords crossed around her by Qing dynasty cops. She is still in the pose of a fying kick, and is being kept in the air by the ridiculous number of swords.
The cover art for Total War: Shogun 2, which is not tied to the TV show. It does still have samurai, ninja, and armies on horseback.
a blurry photo of george lucas as he crosses past j.j. abrams on the red carpet of star wars: the force awakens. the caption reads: George Lucas - having mastered the Satsui No Hado - unleashes his Shun Goku Satsu on an unprepared J.J. Abrams
Three women are about to board a cruise ship. One is wearing a loose, low cut, light pink shirt with a matching headband, and looks distraught. Another is wearing a brown bikini top with big earrings and a scarf, and looks really excited. The third one is peeking in from behind the first two, looking slightly amused. A bright sky and and a beautfiul bay are visible behind them.
An event pop-up in Total War: Three Kingdoms announcing that the great Zhuge Liang, self-styled Sleeping Dragon after the ridge near to his home, has offered his services to a warlord he considers worthy of his talents.
Zohran Mamdani campaign sign with blue background and yellow-red font, but instead of "Zohran for New York City" it says "Zu: Warriors from the Magic Mountain".
a black and red ninja fighting in a park, in the middle of the day. the red one stabs the black one, drop kicks him, spins, and then loads and points a two-handed fingergun. the black ninja explodes styrofoamly.
two bluray movies next to each other: Martyrs (2008) and Hackers (1995). The former looks evil, the latter has angelina jolie and jonny lee miller posing in a cyber realm
a scene from batman: the animated series. an anxious bruce wayne opens a book only to see a cacophany of jumbled letters, some seemingly upside down. it is completely illegible.
A screenshot showing two youtube livestreams next to each other: one is the channel Squidinkidink with the title "stream can't end till we beat Until Dawn", the other is Courtney2 with "STREAM ENDS WHEN I 100% BLOODBORNE DAY 4".
a close up shot of the ends of ripley's fingers, latched onto a ledge like a climber's. the fingers are almost completely covered in black oil and droplets of sweat. a yellow light streaks across them, lighting them against the blue haze and darkness behind them.
tweet by user maple cocaine, which reads: When someone uses this emoji (crying laughing) they are more mad than they have ever been in their entire life
Screenshot of the google search AI overview, stating: There is no known information connecting journalist Olivia Nuzzi to a garbage disposal; the search results show her work as a political reporter, her relationship with Robert F. Kennedy Jr., and unrelated discussions about garbage disposal repair and types.
excerpt from an article: "I remember very well. I was at the beach in the South of France on holiday and I got it there. I skim-read it and just threw it away. I thought it was terrible," Verhoeven smiles. "I thought it was completely ridiculous." The unimpressed auteur headed off for a dip and when he came back found his wife poring over the offending script. "I came back and pretty much said, 'Well, that's a piece of shit,' and she said, 'I think you're wrong. Read it again because there are many possibilities here for you to do something different and interesting.' And so then I decided to read it again more carefully."
Screenshot from a youtube video pairing songs from bomb rush cyberfunk with appropriate internet videos. "Operator" by GRRL is paired with a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story dancing vigorously in a street party. His mascot head is big and creepy.
a clip from the trailer to godfrey ho's golden ninja warrior. it starts with ninjas swordfighting in a field and doing flips, but then the narrator says "women fighting eachother in scenes of breathtaking violence" and it just cuts to some woman getting hit by a car.
a blurry screenshot of a tweet by @Martymatsu: normal fighting games: "Round 1, START." arcsys games: YOU AIN'T FROM MICHIGAN IF YOU AIN'T DONE THIS BEFORE FIRST SHOWDOWN, LET'S GET THIS MONEY
a black and white cat on its back, laying in some scattered dirt. the cat is held in place by a firm hand, staring up with its huge, round, and frightful eyes. the cracks in the tile floor make it look like the cat has been slammed into the pavement like in an anime, and the caption simply reads "YOU" in all caps.
a finnish copy of tarkovsky's sculpting in time. it's called vangittu aika, which means captured time in finnish. the cover features a man with a furrowed brow and a crown of thorns.
a black hat with the text "please don't talk to me about AI. I will kill myself."
Concept art and promotional material featuring Faith from Mirror's Edge. She's standing in the middle of a nondescript crowd, rendered in white and blue, and she's looking at the camera. Her circuit board tattoo is visible on her arm, as is the tattoo around her eye.
A message you can find in the video game Cyberpunk 2077. It's titled "Greetings from Des Moines", and it says "Jump in the urinal and stand on your head. I'm the one that's alive. You're all dead." The message is a reference to Ubik by Philip K Dick.
Lyrics from Speechless Part 2 by Nas: My guess is someone'll replace your soul / A.l. is only here to replicate and control / Imitatin' the original then craft them a mold / Of the binary code, it's your patterns they stole / This my tactical flow, the one they can't redesign / You can redo the voice, but you can never read my mind, I'm- / Was lost for words /
two colorful books on a dark green cushion, which has little furry tufts in a pale green. the books (one pink, one purple) are DEVILSBLUSH volumes, which contain photographs of old video games.
A fight scene from Yes, Madam! (1985) where Cynthia Rothrock wields a decorative bamboo umbrella as a staff weapon. She dodges sword swipes, beats up bad guys, and polevaults to an upper floor of the fancy atrium they're fighting in. The end of the scene sees her swing her legs through the glass panel of a railing, causing the bad guy on the other side to trip and fly over the railing.
A man in a shirt and suspenders sits cross-legged on a futuristic metal table, holding a gun and a metal orb. It's some kind of evil lair, and as he asks "What the hell is that?", a guard in the background replies "Sounds like Cole Porter to me, sir."
A shot of Trinity from The Matrix. She's lying on her back, with her guns pointed at the window she just crashed through. She's about to tell herself to get up.
A fight scene where Cynthia Khan, dressed in a black leather jacket, white shirt, and stretchy grey jeans, fights some bad guy in a suit. The fight takes place around a fountain and staircase in the harbor, with the fighters exchanging punches, kicks, dodges and blocks in rhythmic martial arts fashion. She looks really cool.
A quote from William Gibson's Count Zero: "And, for an instant, she stared directly into those soft blue eyes and knew, with an instinctive mammalian certainty, that the exceedingly rich were no longer even remotely human."
A screenshot of my spotify wrapped, declaring june as my "Boujee Clean Rap Hip Hop season", since I listened to a lot of Kendrick Lamar, Nas, and Tyler The Creator.
a scene from pirates of the caribbean 4, where an agent of the spanish crown interrupts a british sailor's proclamation by shooting him. The spaniard then hands the pistol back to one of his men, looking regal as all hell.
The Master Control Program from Tron (1982). It's a big, red, spinning cylinder with a wide as hell face on it.
Toki, a man in a grey tunic with long gray hair, sits with his legs crossed in a prison cell. he lifts up his arms, and beams of light fan out from his palms, bisecting the two swordsmen attacking him. the narrator announces the name of this secret technique (the north start humanist face breaking fist), and Toki tells the swordsmen "At least you can die without pain."
the above post edited to just say "ok im gonna try to build a guillotine"
a connect the dots worksheet, but it's literally just fully drawn car with the top outline missing.
A cutscene from Resident Evil 4 Remake, with Ashley throwing a stern look as Leon asks "Who – the hell – are you?" Ashley's outfit is a 2000s goth/scene thing with red hair, and Leon's wearing a blue bomber jacket and beanie.
Screenshot of the above post edited to just say "This Windows is some bullshit."
A scene from John Carpenter's The Thing, where Bennings is sitting on the snow, screaming and howling. His hands are a fucked up mess of bloody flesh, where the fingers are entirely too long. It's clear it's not really Bennings.
Screenshot of Aloy from the second Horizon game. She's using an arm mounted lacrosse style weapon to throw a projectile disk at an attacking bird robot. The scene is shot dutch angle against a bright, cloudy sky, with sunlight flaring out from the top corner. We're high up, as you can see some ruins jutting out from the sea in the distance.
A tweet from Ursula K LeChina (@Java_jigga), posted July 3rd 2022: *alternate timeline where an autism vaccine was made* GEORGE LUCAS, DRIVING THE LONGEST CAR YOU'VE EVER SEEN TRHOUGH HARLEM: What the fuck y'all know about this? *starts playing Sing Sing Sing so hard that it causes Black 9/11*
Close-up of Ada Wong in the Separate Ways remake. She furrows her brow as she speaks, with her face lit by a torch. Her usual outfit has been replaced with a red and black dress with gold embroidery, and she has rectangular glasses. In other words, she looks really really good.
a screenshot of a spotify playlist, with the songs "through the night" and "through the light" right next to each other. the songs are by LOMAJI and dracodraco, respectively.
a cropped screenshot from the game NIGHT-RUNNERS PROLOGUE, where the player character has received a text message on their 2000s mobile phone. The text, sent by an unknown person, reads: "unbelievably, you have paid off ur debt"
Cynthia Rothrock beats the shit out of sword-wielding bad guys using her fists, feet, and a decorative bamboo umbrella thingy she turns into a staff. This includes pole vaulting onto a wall decoration and a high up platform. She's wearing a black pants and a black jacket with light blue sleeves and highlights. The fight takes place in the atrium of a modern 80s villa. The camerawork is slick and clear, and the fight has an almost musical rhythm to it. Rothrock ends the fight by jumping onto the outside of a balcony, swinging her feet through the glass panel of the bannister she's grabbing. In doing so, she kicks an enemy's feet out from under him, sending him tumbling over the railing. He bounces off of the aforementioned platform on the way down.
panel of a sullen school girl looking at her phone, saying "Porn on my racist app again?"
a picture of Kenshiro from Fist of the North Star, lying on the ground looking annoyed, confused and disgusted. It's edited to make him look like he's reading something on his phone. This dude looks like if Bruce Lee and Jean-Claude Van Damme were the same person.
A picture of two people in snowman costumes dragging a happy woman on an inflatable sled with snow all around
A picture, taken with a phone, of Ghandi in the Civilization 5 negotiation screen. Ghandi says: "My dear friend, could you spare something for India?" He's asking for 168 gold. Offering nothing in return. He's rich. He doesn't need it. Why is he doing this?
A screenshot of a Spotify playlist called "dmc huh?" that features some intriguing songs from the DMC1 soundtrack. The tracks have names in japanese following the english titles. In english, the track titles are PUBIC ENEMY, EVIL VACCUUM, FINAL PENETRATION, LEGENDRAY BATTLE - Ver.2 (sic), BLOODY BLADDER, I'M COMING!, BLUE ORGASM, SUPER PUBIC ENEMY and PILLOW TALK.