Florida Garbage

@floridagarbage.bsky.social

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Wife guy (derogatory) I write short horror stories under the name J.G. Howell. I’ll post some once I figure out the best way to share them. Letterboxd: https://boxd.it/3gwEn

Four posters: Army of Darkness: 3.5 (and heart) The Vast of Night: 4 (heart) Sleepwalkers: 3 The Furious: 4.5 (heart)
Four posters Evil Dead Burn (2 stars): a screaming woman is grabbed by charred hands Horrors of Malformed Men (4.5 stars and heart): moody painting of a hunched man on a rocky coast Evil Dead (2013) (4 stars and heart): the view from behind a rough looking lady staggering The Evil Dead (1981) (4.5 stars and heart): painting of a woman clawing up from a grave
My two star review of Evil Dead Burn, which reads: They kept referencing a character’s “restaurant” he opened after studying “french cuisine,” but we see it and it’s a booty-shaking club. I don’t even know if they serve food there. They have a kitchen, but it only shows them boiling water in a flashback.
The 10th victim: 3.5 stars and heart Leviticus: 4.5 stars and heart The Name of the Rose: 3.5 stars and heart Is God Is: 4 stars and heart
A woman looks on surprised and maybe a little intrigued
Four posters: Burning horse and soldier, submerged tunnel, red cross shape, lie detector results.
Clayface’s clay face, from the movie Clayface, droops and stretches like clay. A more humorous minded man might compare it to the feeling on gets when they eat a marijuana
Four movie posters: A housefly brandishes a needle in Eega. A switchblade stabs a vast table, men in suits sit and stare in the background for 12 Angry Men View of a naked lady facing the top of her head for Demon Seed A man in greek armor stands before a burning statue of a horse for The Odyssey
Very simple drawing of a guy with striking blue eyes. His hair is combed and gelled, as a professional adult might.
Ghibli character Porco sits in a movie theater smiling and eating popcorn. Porco is a man with a pig’s head, wearing shades, a trench coat and fedora. The frame is from the scene where Porco declines an old friend’s offer to join Mussolini’s air force, stating “I’d rather be a pig than a fascist.”
Four posters: A woman’s hands hold a skull with a centipede in its mouth for The Queen of Black Magic. A girl’s face reflected in the side mirror of a speeding car for The Crash. A young Chinese woman stands in the dark with a black cat on her shoulder for The Cat. An Iranian woman holds her child in a dark room, the light from a window shines on them, an X of shadow dividing it. (Under the Shadow)
A poorly drawn buff man with glasses smokes a fat cigar with a nuclear holocaust happening behind him. It’s the wojack where he usually has a shirt that says “millions must die” or “millions must hope”. Idk, I think he’s supposed to be a right wing NEET but he just looks like Homer Simpson’s opp from that one episode.
The Rockwell Freedom of Speech painting, but the guy standing has the Joker’s head (Heath Ledger version).
The four posters of the movies I just listed. They’re all fine, but describing them isn’t interesting enough to warrant the time spent typing. Just my opinion of the matter, though, to be fair, my explanation took a similar length of time. Oh well, I’m not doubling it to describe the posters now am I? Fine, they show red faces, a scary owl, a family with weed and two white folk kissing, those are the posters.
The Dean from the sitcom “Community” poses in an outfit that is a man’s shirt, tie and pants on one side a dress on the other. The Dean also has makeup and a long blond wig only on his female-presenting side. This mirrors the bilateral gynandromorphism of the original post’s lobster, but sillier, since the lobster doesn’t have to apply for a loan wearing this.
The Achewood comic where a bear creature walks up to a sitting friend and says “Guess who just got…. 🎶yelled at!🎶”
Four posters: A kid in a Rainbow poncho, little girl and robot stand in front of clouds: Arco Man sits in bathtub: The Phoenician Scheme A white horse, pregnant with a human baby, is beset by shadowy tendrils: Son of the White Mare A cop and a gangster: The Gangster, The Cop, The Devil
Posters for the four movies mentioned. Sisu 2: Road to Revenge: is a bunch of war plane and machinery forming a tower with an old, bloody man dual wielding machine guns up top. Sisu: An old man holds a combat knife over his forehead, a Nazi is reflected in the blade. Ready or Not 2: it’s pretty busy, several blond ladies, murderers and weaponry. Hoppers: a group of woodland critters stare at the viewer, most prominent is a beaver in a bears mouth.
A frog swimming with a scorpion on its back. It’s a reference to one of Aesop’s fables, where a frog helping a scorpion cross a river is stung. When the frog asks why he would doom them both, the scorpion replies “it’s in my nature”.
Four movie posters: Strange Circus, Audition, The Fugitive and Boys from County Hell.
“A landlord who had installed floorboards for a tenant in his farmhouse asked why the family’s pig was sleeping in the best room: “Because, plase your honour, it has every conveniency a pig could want.”
The “guy points at the coolest thing ever and says ‘this fucking sucks actually’” meme where the coolest thing ever is Hot women dancing sexily.
Four posters: A man stands in front of a menacing apartment block: The Raid. A geezer and a punk girlie from the chest up: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo A white lady in a wedding dress stands resolute in front of a bunch of rich folks with weapons: Ready or Not A far off man begs for his life in front of a man in a long coat, both in a pine forest: Miller’s Crosssing
The little boy, well not “little” little, probably a preteen, from Freaks and Geeks, the one who was on Bones later on as a man, he had a sister if I remember right, anyway he looks like he’s at a school , sitting down and he has a purple shirt and he’s making a face like “waaah?” And the subtitles say “I’m not gonna hug you” but I’ve scribbled out the “not”because I WOULD hug my wife if she looked overwhelmed. I sent this to her and she liked it. That’s a true story. Just a little bonus for folks who clicked the alt text.
Four movie posters: A young Denzel with a thin mustache looks at the viewer, a sunset colored L.A. behind him for “Devil in a Blue Dress”. A woman with an afro poses amid zombies an evil spirits for “Sugar Hill”. A woman poses in front of a burning street for “Cleopatra Jones”. A Black man in Dracula-esque garb clutches his chest as he’s staked for “Blacula”
Four movie posters: A man and two women stand, fading out, above an empty bed for “Trois” A man and woman sit facing each other at small table, a disconnected wall behind them, seemingly floating on the ocean for “His House” Snoop Dogg’s scary red face with glowing yellow eyes for “Bones”. A young man and woman chill on playground equipment on a bright orange background for “Rye Lane”.
Leonardo DiCaprio excitedly pointing at an out of frame tv. I similarly sat up and pointed at the TV when a reference to PR’s crumbling power grid was made during the Bad Bunny halftime show.
Actor/comedian Sam Richardson shrugging and seemingly suggesting something, but the subtitle text only reads [redacted]
Four posters: A Scary old lady face over a mansion for Burnt Offerings. Five kids in a cracked picture frame: Marrowbone. A sec worker crouching, legs splayed: Crimes of Passion. Two lovers embrace, stars above them, a meal set out below: Like Water for Chocolate
A news article and Wikipedia about two different men with the same name.
Shot from It's A Wonderful Life where a child George Bailey looks down fearfully at a bottle labeled “POISON”
Four Posters: Pregnancy Scheme: A baby stroller at sunset is full of US Dollars. Christmas Evil: Painting of Santa in front of a chimney with at axe. Brain Damage: the top of a young man’s head explodes, a phallic monster on his shoulder Wake Up Dead Man: framed as if looking up from a grave we see a detective, priest and cast of characters in front of a chapel
Four posters: A man with chainsaws for arms and legs fights a woman with a bomb for a head, a red blossom of side characters behind them. The Holdovers: a frumpy professor, lanky teen and lunch lady stand i. The shattered remains of a red Christmas ornament Hamnet: A man and woman embrace among foliage A Christmas Horror Story: Santa stands off against a white, demonic Krampus who wields a hooked chain
Four movie Posters: A gruff man’s face superimposed over a burning sky scraper for Die Hard A Santa arm holding an axe for Silent Night, Deadly Night A painting of a imposing young woman with a man-sized Black cat snarling behind her. A little girl and old lady look on. (The Curse of the Cat People) An attractive older woman looks up at a condescending old man for Babygirl.
Four posters Producers shows two silly men in suits. Big Trouble in Little China show one tough man in a tank top. Bound shows two tough women in leather jackets. Hard boiled shows a man holding a baby wearing tactical gear ( the man, the baby only has a diaper.)
Four movie posters. Poltergeist 2 shows a little girl standing in a black void. Poltergeist shows the same girl sitting in the dark pressing her hands to a staticky TV. Black phone 2 shows a white devil mask frozen in snow. Frankenstein shows a victorian man standing in a spooky room.
Four movie posters: Philadelphia: Tom Hanks and Denzel Washington’s faces in black and white, facing opposite each other, the Philly skyline in the background. Split Second: a gruff grayscale dude with a gun over a trench-coated silhouette run through cyberpunk streets. Frankenhooker: a woman in brassiere and garish makeup emerges from a subway station. Her head is clearly stitched onto another body. The Love Witch: painting of 70’s style brunette with bloody hands.
Four movie posters: Pumpkinhead: Two Demonic hands grips a leaking pumpkin. Come True: an eye-patched woman with short hair has her face half illuminated by the an offscreen computer The Collection: the back of a man’s head as he laces up a black leather mask. A fish-tank with a macabre sculpture of a lady inside is in front of him. The Collector: the back of a man’s head as he laces up a black leather mask. A large house with its lights on is in front of him.
The ancient pondering raptor meme with the text “Has anyone really been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?”
A figure of the character Aladar from the Disney film Dinosaur (2000). He’s the meat in a dino sandwich between a carnosaur and utah raptor from Walking with Dinosaurs. Never doubt my credentials.
Four movies posters: The Blackening: an invisible fist drenched in blood does the Black power salute. Caveat: the upper right corner of a spooky rabbit doll Rat Man: a little person with claws and a prominent nose crouches on a table next to a rat. Blood is splattered about. The Pig, The Snake and the Pigeon: A Chinese man in bisexual lighting points a gun at you.
Two Native American men in a snowy wood, one standing, one crouching. Both have muskets and hunting gear. Man 1 “White man been here.” Man 2 “ How can you tell?” Man 1 “Cuckold porn.”
Four movie posters: The Amusement Park shows an old man with a carousel in place of his eyes. Fantastic Four First Steps shows four people in blue jumpsuits with an emblazoned “4” hang out on a couch. One is a thing. THE Thing. The Fark and the Wicked shows a farmhouse under a red sky with a woman floating above it. The Harder they Come shows a psychedelic drawing of a man in a floppy yellow hat pointing two revolvers. Also depicted in a cool car, another dude, some buildings.
A wonderful fat pig I’ve found and stolen. It is pink and neither alive nor dead
A textbook illustration showing the chimpanzee expression for “Frightened”. In context, I am frightened in much the same way a chimpanzee may be.
Four movie posters: Friendship: Two men, one notable more awkward looking stand next to each other with a billowy cloud background. Sweet Home: a pastiche of actors’ faces, a screaming woman is most prominent, Behind them looms a shadowy mansion. In a foreground, a t-posing corpse. Demon Slayer Infinity Castle: a young man in a checkered robe falls into a stretching corridor. In his hand is a katana. Various anime faces line the bottom of the frame. The Long Walk: A group of young men walk toward the viewer on a desolate road. In their way a soldier stands with only his legs and the end of his carbine in frame.
Photo of “…and the truth shall set you free” by David Icke. It’s a very long-winded book which asserts conspiracy mainstays like shadow governments and jewish cabals.
Tweet from Journalist David Shuster: According to Utah Officials and police interviews with his family, Tyler Robinson hated Charlie Kirk because Kirk wasn’t conservative enough. (Robinson reportedly admired Nick Fuentes). GOPers now scrubbing X posts about dems faster than DOJ erases Trump name in Epstein files
Four movie posters: Aliens: a woman holding a gun a cradling a child stands amongst large, wet eggs Jennifer’s Body: dark haired woman sits on a desk in a red tank top and skirt. “Hell Yes” is scrawled on a blackboard behind her. Weapons: the silhouettes of three kids, arms outstretched run down a darken street. More are visible further away. One Cut of the Dead: A worried man holds a camera on yellow background. Various bloody actors and film strips behind him.
Tampopo, The Host (Bong Joon Ho), The Prince of Egypt and Sinners
Three movie posters. Happiness of the Katakuris shows a red-eyed, turnip headed angel looming over a Japanese family, with a claymation version of the family looming over it. King Fu Hustle: A man is crushed by the title of the movie, a trio of men with black suits and hatchets dance over top. Monstrum: Four warriors in middle ages Korean clothing stand ready, a looming pair of monstrous eyes behind them.
Scene from Oppenheimer where the guys say “Until someone builds a bigger bomb” ominously. This is because the Heritage Foundation are trying to dress up their attempt to fuel a baby boom for white people as a “Manhattan project”.
4 movie posters A close up on a white couple facing each other, their bottom lips connected as they pull back, creating a taut flesh bridge (Together). 3 young women with glowing weapons stand in front of a crowd, a large screen of their faces behind them. (K Pop Demon Hunters) A blond lady in a pink dress reaches up toward a green witch on a broom. Their backgrounds are pink blossoms and green clouds respectively. An emerald city is in the far background. (Wicked) Abstract mix of lights, Dev Patel’s face and a woman running. (Slumdog Millionaire).
Four posters: A paper-cut out style image of a woman in a black chador, white shapes for the forehead and eyes, red for lips (A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night). A blurry, fractured face, wide-eyed and smeared with blood (MADS). A desi woman in a green dress holding a mop. She stands on a city street at night with goats walking behind her (Sister Midnight). A blue alien with red eyes (Fantastic Planet).
Four movie posters: A man backlit by a candle stands over a shrouded body, a menacing long-fingered shadow looming overhead for “The Vigil”. A painted poster depicts a little blonde girl with a doll stands in front of an elevator door. The door is open a crack, showing the elevator car is half way past the floor, a hand grasps out from the empty shaft below for “The Lift”. Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman’s stare out from the midline, looking serious. The middle of the image depicts an old timey blonde woman fading into a puff of smoke for “The Prestige”. A painted poster of a woman’s face and hands sticking out of an elevator door. The woman is crying and crawling at the door leaving streaks of blood for “Down”.
Four movie posters. A white-robed woman licks the forehead of a reclining man for “Inugami”. A young, Black man looks up at the viewer holding a pizza box next to his white boss (various grafitti, chalk drawings and other characters stand on a blue background) for “Do the Right Thing”. A dour man looks accusingly through a crowd for “The Hunt”. Superman. For “Superman”.
A normal picture of Kevin James. Regular-degular.
Fromsoft recurring character Patches. A bald man in leather armor who regularly tricks or betrays the character, possibly because they have hair.
Four movies posters with star ratings underneath. The Game (3.5 stars) Martin Sheen’s face as disassembling puzzle pieces on black background. Miracle Mile (3.5 stars) a stylized palm tree on fire, it’s paper-cut-out like flames contrasting with similar, downward pointing leaves. Kiki’s Delivery Service ( 5 stars and heart) a young girl in a dark dress flys her broom among birds, a coastal town below her. Blood on Satan’s Claws (4 stars and heart): perspective makes a bloody claw in the foreground look like it’s about to grab a white woman in a nightgown.
Chin to hip view of a brawny man in a sideless tank top, taken from a shopping site. Clearly visible are both thick arms and his entire rippling side, making concealing a weapon nigh impossible.