Special Pleading Service

@ftzpltc.bsky.social

259 Followers 132 Following

Just a loathsome dung eater. Also art guy, game guy, wannabe writer, wanna be lots of things tbh. https://www.deviantart.com/ftzpltc

A screenshot of the video game Pronoun Palace - best described as a cross between Boggle, turn-based RPG combat, and Nineteen Eighty Four, in which you one of five playable characters goes on a quest to regain their pronouns. The playable character known as the Child has just played the words "boner quota".
The severely emaciated Cillian Murphy zombie in a field of rapeseed in 28 Years Later, literally being every British person in summer.
Prom photos in which a teenage couple are clad in stars and stripes attire and carrying a TRUMP flag.
A panel from the television sitcom The Simpsons, in which the character Lenny is huddled in his spartan domicile, clad only in his undergarments, holding a spoon, at a dining table. On the dining table is a bag of the cereal Heritage Os, but it is probably too small for most people to recognise. So consider that a little accidental Easter egg for the visually impaired.
Jordan "friendlyjordies" Shanks screenshotted at an inopportune moment that makes him look like he is achieving orgasm. He was talking about Ben Roberts-Smith's arrest for war crimes so it's only slightly disingenuous.
"There are two types of people in this world. Avoid both."
On the left, there is a monster from the intentionally retro-graphics video game Iron Lung, with the word "Standard" above it. On the right, there is a monster from the movie version of Iron Lung, directed by and starring Mark "Markiplier" Fischbach, which has much higher visual fidelity than the video game, and which I have also edited to appear to have huge breasts, with "With DLSS5" written above it. This meme is intended to parody the side-by-side comparisons of graphics with and without an AI effect created by Nvidia, which often had the appearance of being modified to appear more conventionally attractive, in the manner of previous "designed by gamers" memes. It is impossible to convey via text alone how immaculate those breasts look. I did a very very very good job editing this image. I know this is a visual gag and you're probably visually impaired, but you'll just have to trust me. Them knockers is rockin'.
A reddit comment reading: "There are thousands of Muslim women who desperately want to vote for Nigel Farage but their hardcore Islamist husbands are forcing them to vote for the white woman from the pro-trans party led by a gay Jewish man" This is sarcastic.
A variation on the "they don't know" meme template, in which Darem from Starfleet Academy wistfully laments "they don't know about my two vibrating fish buttholes", while Caleb and the Betazed lady from Starfleet Academy say "yes, we do", and Kyle and Jay-Den from Starfleet Academy say "you sent me like 100+ pics of them. The image of Darem is from the background of a conversation between Jay-Den and Kyle, in which they are flirting cutely. He looks like me when I see literally anyone else happy, because he wanted that sweet Klingon double-dick but couldn't get it because his flirting game was weird. If you don't watch this show, you should start.
A YouTube thumbnail for a video in which Adam "YourMovieSucks" Johnston reacts to Doug "The Nostalgia Critic" Walker meeting James "MrBeast" Donaldson. This is captioned "Nightmare blunt rotation"
The verified White House Facebook account coping on main about Donald Trump's approval rating, claiming that "RCP polling" (no idea what that is) says that Trump leads Obama and Bush in Second-Term Year-One approval. The post has over 20,000 laugh reacts. This features a photo of Trump pointing at the text with mild confident approval on a largely green background, which seems... brave.
A New York Times headline: "Trump appears to blank on $2K tariff checks he promised Americans: 'When did I do that?'"
An automated email informing me that my tweet had violated their rules against hateful content, and stating that one may not "promote violence against, threaten or harass people on the basis of race, ethnicity, national origin, sexual orientation, gender, gender identity, religious affiliation, age, disability, or serious disease" (this was in 2020, for reference - I'm pretty sure all of those things are okay now because Comedy Is Legal?) The tweet reads as follows: "Hey (at) JK Rowling. As a gay man, I don't recall asking for you to use feigned concern for me in order to belittle my trans friends because you can't bear to back down in front of your impressionable fan base. All we want from you is Dumbledore: The Cottaging Years, you coward." Turns out 2020 me was pretty onpoint?
A photograph of Elsie, the beloved little snoofle-doofle, doing a cute pose. (She is a cat.)
An AI summary from a Google search for "Donald Trump refers to himself as a sexual predator". It reads: In a 2006 interview on the Howard Stern Show, Donald Trump appeared to mouth the words "that's true" or "it's true" and laugh after radio host Robin Quivers called him a "sexual predator". During the segment, which resurfaced as a video clip in 2016, Stern was discussing the topic of sexual predators when Quivers interjected, "You are one!". The people in the studio, including Trump and his daughter Ivanka who was also present, laughed, and Trump could be seen appearing to say "that's true" or "it's true" towards Ivanka. Fact-checkers, including Snopes and the Hindustan Times, confirmed the video as genuine and not altered. It is important to note: The context of the remark was a casual radio show conversation where comments were made in a joking tone. Trump has faced numerous accusations of sexual misconduct and assault from many women over the years. In a civil case brought by E. Jean Carroll, a federal jury in New York found Trump liable for sexual abuse and defamation in May 2023, though he was not required to register as a sex offender as it was a civil case. Trump has consistently denied all allegations of sexual misconduct, often calling the accusers "horrible, horrible liars". In a separate 2005 Access Hollywood tape, Trump was recorded boasting in a hot mic conversation that his celebrity allowed him to "grab 'em by the pussy" and kiss women without their permission, comments he later dismissed as "locker room talk".
Robert Robertson III from Dispatch, in the beginnings of a passionate embrace with Sonar from Dispatch. They are super cute and if you broke them up you are a bad gamer.
Jax, a character from the Cube prequel movie, Cube: Zero. Jax comes off like he just walked in from a completely different movie and decided to act like a dick the whole time.
A meme in which there is a tweet reading: "Small blobs of human brain grown in a dish have been coaxed into forming rudimentary eyes, which respond to light by sending signals to the rest of the brain tissue. [read more: buff.ly/3jZLhEI]" The caption to this meme reads "New horrific MrBeast viewer just dropped".
Harry Mason, the protagonist of Silent Hill: The First One, unconscious with a headwound in the Bad Ending of the video game. If you've never seen Harry Mason, he looks kind of like James Franco, who you possibly also have never seen.
Tory politician Mel Stride, standing behind a podium, ham hands outstretched and gamy gullet belching forth some kind of barely-concealed racism, I have no doubt, looking like he's passing a kidney stone the size and shape of Margaret Thatcher and having the time of his life.
An edited screenshot of a real Fox News item in which Jesse Watters claims to be talking to an "Ex-Antifa". The "Ex-Antifa" man is wearing a lime-green baseball cap and a black rag over his face and looks exactly like if someone asked a retired cop to pretend to be an Antifa. I have added the chyron headline "Oli London Reveals Shocking New Self-Identity". Oli London is a person who turns up on Fox News a lot to play the part of a detransitioner, despite never having transitioned and also claiming to be "trans-racial".
A combination of cupcake and skellington head with a cherry on top.
A photograph of Donald Trump shaking King Charles III's hand. Donald Trump's hands are small, doll-like and slathered in make-up. King Charles' hands are the size of a golf-cart battery and the colour of the head of a penis during ejaculation.