Red Toads 🏆🛡️🇪🇺🏆

@fwtoads.bsky.social

232 Followers 224 Following

8.7 miles from Selhurst Park. Pierre Sage’s Renbluearmy. Played for Real Social Dads. Drummer for The Epsom Downs Syndrome. Fat Guardiola. Husband to Carla Ancelotti/Russell Grant. Dad to Jane Rambo. Part-time Yehudi. G(r)eek. “Is this comedian joking?”

Maz Sutcliffe, Matov Savile, and Francis Bruno. Shaking hands ahead of some bum fun at Broadmoor Hospital.
Jordan reckons Israel are going after the Dome of the Rock, the walking, talking airbag.
John Text0r, sitting on Marc with a Cark’s lap, aboard Orangemen Air
What's that? What'd you fucking say, cunt? What? Problem? Fucking problem? No, mate, no. It's you! You're the problem! You're the fucking problem, you fucking Dr White honkin' jam-rag fucking spunk-bubble!
Crystal Palace FC. If they’re not giving you orgasm by silverware, they’re making death by electrocution seem like a better use of your weekend.
Evidence of cloud seeding above Bromley FC’s stadium, says Mr A. Cunt of West Wickham.
Raphael with a C
A. Cunt from Minster-on-Sea, looking out of his window and tutting at contrails.
A Reform window-licker denying climate change.
Mr Bill Help is offering me help with my bills (but draws the line at Williams, apparently).
Peter Beardsley, Frank Rijkaard, and Peter Beardsley’s penis. That is not a euphemism for Steve Hodge.
Everyone named Andy looks exactly the same when they pop on a whistle and some specs
Donald J Trump™️ lifting the FIFA World Cup. Not even the cuntiest thing he’s done this weekend.
FIFA Morph cunt Gianni Infantino arbitrating what your children think is cool.
A potted history of Thomas Tuchel clusterfucks
A plastic pig with a rather alluring Ruud Gullit
Septic Peg - caused by a lawnmower accident.
Nazi scum account doxxing the bloke wearing a bin on his head.
Donald Trump shits another abysmal opinion into the public record, this time about FIFA corruption, and his part in it.
Trump-imbibing football Morph cunt
Donald J Trump™️ fellating ‘Johnny’ Infanteeno enthusiast.
Be glad you can’t see the representation of a defrosting chicken in this image
A Twitter exchange that thanks to the otherworldly genius of Ilun Mask, has enough views to pay for next year’s season ticket.
JP Mateta with a Setter that doesn’t really look like a Setter, but gets the job done, a bit like the subject in Leipzig. #AMIRITE
Marc with a cark should at least front up the postage and packing.
John Terry turns up to a burning building in full firefighters garb - the wanker
Blue suede water bottle.
The French Peter Wisdom, with a pint of whatever piss water they sell in the Holmesdale these days
Alan Rickman as the Sheriff of Nottingham. What a fucking Don.
The old brain haemorrhoids might be getting a flex up in Notts.
A Jack Russell wonders if that’s a whistle or something a bit more casual. No sure why he’s asking - I’ve got Poodles.
Littlehampton. Cool and windy. Lovely.
Wanna bet on it?
There’s only one South American bird man, he’s loaded with coke and dangling off a railing
25° on Epsom Downs. Won’t someone think of the horses?
Shimano as well.
Steve Costa Parish
To The New York, we’re on our way.
John Lithgow as Tommy Too Cool
Ollie Giroud. Massive cock, fucking idiot.
Sargent Bob Cryer off The Bill. Almost made you believe all cops weren’t bastards.
Pierre Sage. It’s pronounced ‘Sarge’ rather than ‘Sage’ but why let that stand in the way of a gold bullion pun?
Brazil v Morocco in 4K on the BBC, on a ridiculously enormous Sony Bravia 9.
The career of Sergej Barbarez - why is it spelt with a J rather than an I?
Polly Toynbee - probably the only person in history to have worse opinions than Richard Madeley.
The sash. Lightning bolt. Sex in fabric.
Dean Learner and Danny Moonyoof Panini sticker win double.
Arsenal fans celebrating their Champions League final goal the same way I celebrate finding the bread is still in date.
Palace admin just drove by Ashburton Grove and pumped it full of lead.