Darryl Mott

@gamerstavernshow.com

2340 Followers 346 Following

Freelance writer on tabletop roleplaying games. I was paralyzed in a fall on Christmas Day 2025. Fun! He/him. Opinions are my own.

Photograph of Mount Olympus in Greece
Animated GIF from the film My Cousin Vinny where Vinny gives his opening statement to the jury while wearing a ridiculous-looking three-piece suit that looks like something out of Vaudeville: "Everything that guy just said is bullshit. Thank you."
Movie poster for the 2001 film A Knight's Tale showing a close-up of star Heath Ledger's face with a red background and the tagline "We Will Rock You".
Video clip of a stage performance of Dracula where Jonathan Harker presses the doorbell to Dracula's castle and the Dracula that comes out is wearing a fishnet tank top and tight leather pants while strutting his way around as mist sprays around him. Funky music plays and he requests Alexa turn it down but it does not because you can't be that cunty and not have a soundtrack. The scene continues with Harker shaking Dracula's hand (who squeezes it too hard) and says "Welcome to my home. Please note you are under no duress and have entered of your own free will." When questioned, Cunt Dracula says this is due to liability issues.
Screenshot of Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993) of a prison where a bunch of hands are reaching through a grate in the floor to flip the middle finger.
Screenshot of the cover of the TTRPG game Haunted West by Chris Spivey featuring a UFO at the top of the image with a light shining down showing the title: Haunted West: A Tabletop Roleplaying Game Shining The Light of Truth on the Old West It then features five characters standing in the desert, from left to write a Black gambler in a sharp green shirt, an Asian sharpshooter with her rifle wearing a blue short, red cape and hat, and chaps, a Victorian-dressed white man in a top hat and suit wearing a brass jet pack and holding a Steampunk looking gun, a bearded white very generic looking cowboy with two revolvers, a tan suit, blue hankerchief around his neck, and grey hat, and finally on the right a woman in a blue and grey dress with lavender hair holding a syringe and with a highly advanced sci-fi red device with lights hanging on her hip from a strap on the shoulder.
Animated GIF for Red Dwarf featuring the death of Arnold Rimmer, where the camera zooms in on his face as he says his final words, "Gazpacho Soup"
Screenshot of two posts from Dr. Stephanie @punkrockscience.bsky.social one minute apart or less. The first at the bottom says "HOLY SHIT" while the second above says "BULLSHIT"
Google Maps screenshot showing the island where the Snagov Monastery is located in Siliștea Snagovului, Romania.
Animated GIF from Casablanca of Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart) in a suit, raincoat, and fedora walking alongside Capt. Renault (Claude Rains) wearing a black police uniform of an officer.
Background of various movie posters/DVD covers of at least a hundred different titles, overlaid with the text: DESCRIBE YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE AS BORING AS POSSIBLE
Screenshot from Adventures of Robin Hood (1938) showing the interior of Nottingham Castle full of candelabras, sconces, and more though the stone walls are mostly bare. There are many flags hanging on the wall over the main table. The hall is also filed with what looks at a glance half guests, a quarter servants, and a quarter armed and armored guards.
Photo of the back of a bluish-grey work van taking up most of the frame while stopped at a stop light. It shows mostly the right side of the read door, which says: WE FIX WHAT CHATGPT SAID YOU SHOULD TRY!
Movie poster for The Adventures of Robin Hood starring Errol Flynn, photographed in TECHNICOLOR. The poster features a shield with that on it in the lower left, while the upper right has a painting of Flynn as Robin Hood holding a bow and arrow wearing the iconic Robin Hood green outfit and cap, with Marion behind him.
Poster for Casablanca (1941) in landscape featuring busts of the cast and the top three acting credits - Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, and Paul Henreid at the top, "Presented by Warner Bros." ont he right side, and "A Hal B. Wallis Production" under it with the title in red script.
Screenshot from Robin Hood (2018) showing the crowd of commoners dressed like a Hollywood dipshit's idea of Black Bloc marching against the Sheriff of Nottingham's men wearing full helmets carrying obviously modern-inspired riot shields 800 years too early and wielding maces.
Animated GIF from the "Who's On First" routine by Abbott and Costello at the point where Costello has gone past rage and frustration and has just given up on life, throwing the hand not holding the baseball bat up helplessly and turning away.
Screenshot from Robin Hood (2018) showing Robin getting a boost from a character whose name I didn't catch to climb between two walls. To keep his bow on him, he's put it around himself so the string is across his chest and the bow on his back. He's also wearing patchwork metal armor meant to resemble a modern flak jacket but made of various riveted plate, like a very bad approximation of what D&D calls split mail.
Screenshot from Robin Hood (2018) of a wild shot showing the worst anachronism stew of costuming I think I've ever seen with the bright colors of the Medieval period mixed with Victorian fashions and...UGH I HATE IT.
Headshot of Alan Tudyk as Wat Tyler from the film A Knight's Tale, wearing a dirty straight-collared shirt that would probably be an undershirt in the medieval setting, because A Knight's Tale is known for its faithful recreation of the Middle Ages including such bardic ballads as "We Will Rock You" by Queen Philippa
Screenshot of Robin Hood (2010) showing a modern-day amphibious landing vehicle in 1199 CE. Fuck me...
A screenshot from Robin Hood (2010) at night of a boat on the beach that has zero resemblance to any period-appropriate ship but a STRIKING resemblance to the World War II Landing Craft Assault ships used at Normandy.
Screenshot from Robin Hood (2010) of King Richard the Lionheart getting shot by a crossbow bolt
The Middle Ages according to... Historians - above a picture of houses that are clean, streets that are well maintained, and one house is a bright red color. Hollywood - above a picture of the same village only everything's covered in mud including the buildings and the one that was painted red is so covered in dirt and muck you can't tell it was painted. All the other buildings which looked like nice treated lumber are yellow from the dirt. Open air museum Middelaidercentrat in Denmark shown as it naturally looks and when a film was being recorded there.
Screenshot from Robin Hood (2010) of simulated script on parchment: King Richard the Lion Heart, bankrupt of wealth and glory, is plundering his way back to England after ten years on his Crusade.
A map of the United Kingdom and Ireland with three red dots placed on the map, one at the White Cliffs of Dover, one at Nottingham, and one at the location on Hadrian's Wall where the scene with the tree was shot in the film.
Screenshot from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves where Azeem hands Robin...something to eat that he's broken in half that has a light golden color outside and white interior and it looks like it has seeds.
"They sealed its doom by inviting in among them like wolves into the sheep-fold, the fierce and impious Saxons, a race hateful both to God and men, to repel the invasions of the northern nations. Nothing was ever so pernicious to our country; nothing was ever so unlucky. What palpable darkness must have enveloped their minds-darkness desperate and cruel! Those very people whom, when absent, they dreaded more than death itself, were invited to reside, as one may say, under the selfsame roof." - De Excidio et Conquestu Britanniae, by Gildas, circa 500 CE
Animated GIF from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, a show I do not watch so I do not know the context. One character sets a plate in front of another, who immediately grabs the plate and throws it across the room like a frisbee where it shatters on the floor.
Screenshot from the opening scene of Robin Hood (1973) showing a storybook with a medieval style drawing of a military procession at the top with the text Long ago, Good KING RICHARD of England departed for the Holy land on a great Crusade. During his absence, PRINCE JOHN his greedy and treacherous brother, usurped the crown.
Image from a recipe showing a potato that has been seasoned and cooked and apparently this is step 8 of the recipe as it is labeled "8 Let the potato rest for five minutes."
Charles Dance as Lord Vetinari from the miniseries Going Postal based on the Discworld books by Sir Terry Pratchett. While blond-haired instead of jet black, he EMBODIES the role in his mannerisms by turning what seems like a polite if slightly insulting response, after being told that a statement made by someone was just a joke, of "Oh, I'm sorry. I hadn't realized. Do tell me if you feel abliged to make another joke." into a deadly threat.
Image of a Gatorclaw from Fallout 4: Nuka World. They're bipedal creatures that look a bit like very large humanoid reptiles with strong arms and claws with a long, thick neck and long mouth like an alligator.
An animated gif from Red Dwarf of the character Arnold Rimmer just before his death (so no H on his forehead) laying on the Drive Room floor as the camera zooms in from his face into an extreme close-up of his mouth as he says his final words... "Gazpacho Soup!"
Screenshot of my muted words showing "platner" muted for 7 days
Pope Leo in his youth wearing a black overcoat, fedora, and Rayban sugnlasses looking very much like Elwood Blues from The blues Brothers
Twitter post from nathan fielder @nathanfielder Out on the town having the time of my life with a bunch of friends. They're all just out of frame, laughing too. Attached is a photo of just one man with short dark hair smiling. There is no evidence of other people around.
Steam review from user Nyaru Title: Tricked by the SJWs again! Snap, they got me good Played just over 2 hours before they unleashed their agenda: suddenly I'm looking at interracial gay mamages and hanging with minority trans people in a progressive paradise where it is the norm, as apparently nobody is even surprised by it. Just past the refund period. Well, guess it's my own fault for taking my time and inspecting everything instead of rushing through the story. EDIT: and now I found lesbians and a gay robot, and some other cringey thing I forgot.
Post from Stephen King Someone on threads yesterday said that Stephen Miller is what happens when you bury a dildo in the Pet Sematary
Social media post by Bruce Bethke: Fascinating. I just received an email that asked, "Hey Bruce, I was curious about your personal opinions on the cyberpunk genre convention, in 2026. Do you think cyberpunk has to be depressing? Or do you reckon it can also be hopeful?" AND GMAIL HAD HELPFULLY ALREADY WRITTEN THE ANSWER FOR ME!!! "Hey [name redacted], "It can be hopeful, sure. But it's usually more interesting when it's not. Cyberpunk is fundamentally about the tension between high tech and low life. If the tech solves all the problems, it stops being cyberpunk and starts being something else. "Bruce"
Screenshots from Fallout 3 showing the Mall, Lincoln Memorial, and Capital Building along with other buildings along the way all in ruins, the ground having no grass, the trees having no leaves, potholes and craters in the ground, and the Reflecting Pool as a green-colored toxic mess (so that's the same as now at least).
Sepia tone photo of a young Pope Leo wearing a priest collar, a black long coat, Rayban sunglasses, and a black fedora highly resembling Elwood Blues from the film and comedy sketch Blues Brothers.
Two screenshots from Fallout 3, the top showing the Mall and the Capitol Building in utter ruins along with many other government buildings in various forms of damage and decay, while the bottom shows the Reflecting pool looking...pretty much like it does currently, but the grass is all dead, trees have no leaves, and the Lincoln Memorial has a huge chunk of the facade broken off. The buildings on either side are also in ruins.
The Antikythera mechanism is regarded as the world's oldest computer. It's stored in a secure facility for two specific reasons. 1. To preserve the artifact and prevent further corrosion. 2. To keep you fucking nerds from trying to run DOOM on it.
Image of the front of a Lunchables Pun Pack! box for the Ham & American variety with a stack of ham and cheese on crackers, a small chocolate chip cookie, and a Capri Sun pouch with the straw inserted. It also says it has 10G of protein per serving.
AI Generated Content Disclosure — Crusader Kings III: Legends of the Dead The developers describe how their game uses AI Generated Content like this: We employ generative AI during the creation of some art assets. Typically, this will be to create synthetic reference photos for lighting, postures and generic detail. A small percentage of art assets include bits of generated content as collage. The generated content remains a small part of the total expression created by the artist.
The ballpit from Dashcon, which is a 3/4 inflated dub that's less than a foot tall without very many plastic balls in it sitting on bare concrete with no additional padding in a completely undecorated room with nothing whatsoever around it.
When Paramount Pictures studio executives were shown a cut of this movie, they wanted the opening and closing surrealist sequences to be cut. Executive producer Mel Brooks, according to producer Stuart Cornfeld, said to them: "We are involved in a business venture. We screened the film for you, to bring you up to date as to the status of that venture. Do not misconstrue this as our soliciting the input of raging primitives."
Order of the Stick webcomic panel illustrating the "one tells the truth, one lies" by showing the red monster saying "Oh gods! She shot me! You crazy bitch, I can't believe you shot me!" and the green saying "She absolutely did not shoot you, and I completely expected it." The party is a redhead archer rogue, a bald Black fighter, and a nonbinary elf wizard. The fighter says "Well, huh. I guess the red one tells the truth."
A panel from a comic by Matt Bors in which a medieval peasant says, "We should improve society somewhat," while a modern man, emerging from a well, replies, "Yet you participate in society! Curious! I am very intelligent."
Orc 1: "Did you hear that? What was that?" Orc 2: "Probably something that finally broke off and fell down one of the wells. This place is old." Unknown voice: "Fool of a Took!" Orc 2: "You know what? Let's go check it out."
Post from caadanboqorada Anyone wanna go plant endangered native plants that are illegal to remove on the land they want to build data centers? Reply from teaksta Environmental scientist here. Plant elderberry shrubs Sambucus spp. which are native to North America it's illegal to remove them because they provide habitat to Valley Elderberry Longhorn Beetles, which are federally protected by the Endangered Species Act
Screenshot of my muted words settings showing I've muted "supreme" for a month.
Animated GIF from Alien Resurrection where Sigourney Weaver shoots a nothing-but-net overhead shot with one hand practically in a single take. The GIF ends abruptly because they had to cut awkwardly as Ron Perlman almost blew the take breaking character.
Image of the Muppet Fozzie the Bear driving a car in two shots, one looking forward and one looking at the camera. It is captioned: When your online profile says "passionate bear looking for love", you get a lot of wrong responses. Well, not wrong. Just wrong for me.
Inside a pink circle are six black arrows pointing outward from a single point. Around that is a blue circle saying "E Pluribus Anus". This is supposed to be the Crossroads of Knowledge, but is actually a butthole and the translation of the Latin is "Out of many, butthole". It's a reference to the TV show Community.
Post from user kaity--did Jesus Christ I have JUST realized that women use FTM to mean full time mom on the app I use to find recipes. I was like WHY ARE SO MANY TRANS PEOPLE MAKING MEDIOCRE PASTA DISHES!? Reply from hypnospilot Happy pride, specifically to trans men who make mediocre pasta dishes. I love you.
Photo of the Independence Arch with a cargo van driving on the street in front of it. The entire arch is only about three times taller than the van, making it likely between 20 and 25 feet tall. The "stone" looks like cheap plaster with a mostly featureless fron facade only showing two circles toward the top with two squares sticking out to support two "brass" eagle statues on the left and right side with a larger humanoid figure with angel wings holding a torch facing toward the green Reflecting Pool and Capitol Building.
Two-panel comic of Everett True. Everett, a rotund, bald man wearing a black vest and white shirt sits in a chair reading the newspaper as his wife, wearing glasses with her hair in a bun and a large, flowing shirt, says "Everett, do you remember that letter Ig ave you last week to mail?" Everett replies, "Yes, Mrs. True. I mailed it. What about it?" The second panel has his wife turning over his chair with him still in it shouting at him, "Well, I want you to mail it again! I found it a minute ago in your coat pocket!!"
"There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs." - John Rogers A picture of an Uruk-Hai from the Lord of the Rings film is in the corner.