Grant Brisbee

@grantbrisbee.bsky.social

26559 Followers 320 Following

Union man. I write about baseball and make stupid jokes, not necessarily in that order. For a midlife crisis expressed through record collecting, follow me @mystupidrecords.bsky.social

Creamed Tuna 'n Pancakes Make 8 pancakes. Meanwhile, in saucepan, cook 2 tbsp. chopped onion in 1 tbsp. butter until tender. Blend in. 1 can Campbell's Cream of Celery Soup and ⅓ to ½ cup milk. Add a 7-oz. can tuna (drained and flaked) and ½ cup cooked peas. Heat, stirring now and then. Serve between and over pancakes. 4 souper servings. Just perfect for lunch of supper.
DO NOT SEND THIS TO THAT ONE UNCLE (it's a bucket that a guy is farting into, and then you "shoot" the fart at people. It's called a fart blaster. I might be that one uncle, tbh.
“Now progress takes away What forever took to find” -the dreaming tree Dave Matthews Band “Dicks up when I step in the party”
To Kirk All the Best!!!! Billy Bob Thornton
A sample (?) a costco for “cat pate”. It is $32.99
Or what? You'll release the bees or the diarrhea or the bees with diarrhea in their mouths and when they buzz, they spray diarrhea at you?
The reviews from the Google search. 6.8 on IMDB, 60% on RottenTomatoes and 3/4 from Ebert. Tag: Caroline (Marisa Tomei), a young waitress who seems to have bad taste in men.
A link to IMDB (?) that reads "Grant Brisbee: I don't think we'll see top prospect Bryce Eldridge."
john candy in JFK
dana carvey as dennis miller
Skinner saying “Done and done. And I mean done.”
the above tweet with another one below from Drew Magary that reads "I have now ranked the on-screen trials of Odysseus
Lance McCullers sounds like a request that an Irish person would make at a podiatrist.
The same shot as above, but with Garfield's lasagna noodle pixelated out. The guy on the left is super impressed.
it would appear that the post right after "i'm in the mood for ____" was "Cum chalice cum chalice cum chalice cum chalice"
a guy about to slide in a way that severs his spine from his soul
Bligh Madris Finalizing Deal with KBO’s SSG Landers
King Larry moments after his (redder than hell) penis popped right outside of Pacific Palisades Proposal Park
If you want to ask my wife for a favor, now's the time! She's doped up or dying or something!
The 1987 HR Derby at the Oakland Coliseum had four participants. Andre Dawson had four homers, and Ozzie Virgil Jr. had two. George Bell and Mark McGwire each had one. The NL defeated the AL, 6 homers to 2.
The guide from the Ghost House After Hours tour, where you can say whatever the HELL you want.
Grant Fontenot was drafted by the Royals, combining my first name with my supposed doppleganger’s last name. (I never saw it tbh)
Lastly, I will make my seemingly annual plea to the Giants to please honor the sacred call of the #Legacy Giant. And not just any #Legacy Giant — this has got to be the grandaddy of them all. Bobby Bonds’ grandson, Peyton Bonds, son of Bobby Bonds, Jr., nephew of Barry Bonds, honorary grand god-son of Willie Mays for all I know, is expected to go somewhere in the 3rd-5th round range. Bonds was the player who moved current Giants’ prospect, Trevor Cohen to a corner during their time together at Rutgers University, and he’s coming out of college with some real helium after showing improvements in his swing mechanics and offensive game this year. It was a mistake for the Giants to overlook the law of Legacy Giant when Cody Bellinger was draft eligible. It was a likely mistake for them to ignore it when Tyler Soderstrom was draft eligible. And how much more likely is it to be a massive blunder to ignore the legacy of true Giants’ royalty: it must not be! We must have our Legacy Giant this time — the greatest of his kind!
"This bra bomb better work, Nerdlinger" from the Simpsons.
Maggie Simpson squaring off against her nemesis, the Baby with One Eyebrow
Piper craning her neck awkwardly to put her wookiee-ass nose in my face.
The seagull had an autopsy (they do autopsies on seagulls?), and they found that the seagull was not well before being hit by the ball, which explains why it didn’t avoid the ball. They said that it would have died within the next couple of weeks anyway.
Mamdani's preening arrogance will ultimately prove his downfall, by Liz Peek. Or, as I like to refer to her, Piz Leek.
The linkedin profile of Mike Stodolka, former fourth-overall pick of the Royals. He is Dr. Stodolka now, a Chemistry & Materials Science PhD and Electrochemistry Enthusiast.
My cookbook collection, with the shelves bowing under the weight of them. I’ll get around to fixing it or it will collapse, who’s to say
Screen from Police Squad: Tonight's Episode: The writer's barely disguised fetish. Don't need the hyphen there, it's an adverb, folks. But I get to use this meme harder than others because I had all of the Police Squad episodes on VHS tape as a kid, taped off the Comedy Channel, before it was Comedy Central.
one team (not the Giants) had 10 runs, 11 hits, and no errors. one team (definitely the Giants) had zero runs, one hit, and three errors.
the "call an ambulance, but not for me" meme, with the lyrics from Evita replacing them. Don't cry for me Argentina. The truth is, I never left you.
A goalkeeper with his plant foot outside the box as he kicks the ball away (which he got after a normal save).
much to think about
A Michelob Ultra ad under the scorebug
The dad from the Puttermans, the beloved family from the Duracell ads that everyone remembers fondly.
A two-panel picture sequence, with the first picture featuring a 10-year-old-ish kid with an empty popcorn bucket on his head, and his finger in his nose. The second picture is mostly the same, except the finger is now in his mouth. My caption was "His eyes are blurred out because I didn't want to take the .001-percent chance that a throwaway joke in a dumb baseblal article would ruin his life, but this kid is a hero.'
bill hanstock says "eat shit ronaldo" nick pants says "eat shit, ronaldo"
The Angels’ CFO used to be Bill Beverage. He worked with Molly Jolly.
Check this shit out motherfucker [I slide one foot out from under me and fall on my ass, it’s not clear what kind of move I was trying to do]
Haaland making a face that would be very disturbing for a baby to make, mostly the smile, i don't want a baby smiling like that at me
Autographs include Frank Robinson; Bob Brenly; Chris Brown; Chili Davis; Jose Barrios; Reggie Smith; Mark Dempsey; Dan Schatzeder; Joe Morgan; Jack Clark.
Dodgers to select Eliezer Alfonzo Jr
My mom texted me that her Jeff Samardzjia water globe leaked and ruined the top of her computer table.
William Safire Orders Two Whoppers Junior from the Onion
Grant, a junior, has experience in three plays, Little Me, The Romancers, and California Suite. In The Comedy of Errors, you'll see him as Dromio of Ephesus. Other than acting Grant enjoys horseback riding and playing the oboe. Grant hopes some day to make his mark as a musician.
The front cover of a 7-inch record titled "Baseball Tips from the Stars" presented by Mars. This is No. 1: How to Bat, and it features headshots and autographs of Stan Musial, Ernie Bankes, Duke Snider, and Ken Boyer with a "with Lou Boudreau" signature at the bottom.
Done and done. And I mean "done!"
he's clearly talking about garfield, who appears in the below tweet
Morgan Fairchild and 3 others reposted your post "He did all of these incredible things with cocks" is all I can hear, and now I gotta reread that Teddy Roosevelt biography.
A younger, thinner Grant drinking bourbon, delicious bourbon, brownest of the brown liquors. So tempting.
the boys from hanson with a speech bubble
Trending 1. Mbappe 2. Mbappé
Supernintendo Chalmers: The thoughts of people who have been dead for 200 years? Even though the wrote down everything they ever thought, either in published works or letters. We're talking an entire lifetime without phones or TV for a bunch of self-important rich peo0ple. They wrote down their thoughts on everything. But you have access to their secret written thoughts?
The blasphemous prisoner from Monty Python's The Life of Brian