T. Greg Doucette

@gregdoucette.bsky.social

43687 Followers 1523 Following

In-House Counsel @ BigTech. Ex-"Computers Guy," then decade litigating 1A in NC+TX. Servant to two cats (and a dog and a wife). Armchair Philanthropist. (@greg_doucette on ExTwitter)

Screenshot of the airport layout for Charlotte-Douglas International, showing Greg arriving in Terminal C and departing from Terminal B, a distance of 2,213 feet expected to take 11 minutes.

Screenshot of Apple's Weather app in the radar screen, showing forecasts for widespread thunderstorms around Charlotte near 5pm

Phone notification from American Airlines: "Your flight from Raleigh Durham to Charlotte is delayed after maintenance was required on a plane assigned to your flight. We're sorry for the disruption to..."

Line graph from the World Trade Organization, showing crude oil shipments through the Strait of Hormuz. On the left are many tall bars, showing well over 100 ships nearly every day. The daily total plummets after the Iran War began, and is currently near zero.

Screenshot of a post from Arvin Zohra, date unknown (labeled "yesterday"). Text reads: "I'll take a whitesupremacist who wants to tear down the welfare state over a government school teacher who wants to keep it."

Photo of a wall in Greg's office, painted a loud fuchsia

Bumper sticker that reads "My Other Ballot Box is a Guillotine". On the left is a box in American flag colors with a sealed ballot going in to it. On the right is a guillotine with a sharp blade that has a smile superimposed on it. The background of the image is green with assorted white stars and dots in a whimsical structure.

Image of the Biting Pear of Salamanca, a paint by Ursula Vernon (@tkingfisher.com on Bluesky). The image features an enormous green pear, with an open mouth, rather large teeth, and a correspondingly well-illustrated tongue. It is sitting on a grassy hillside with daisies visible in the foreground and a meandering stream in the background on the right. In the far background is a tower.

In white lettering overtop the image are the words "LOL WUT"

You can learn more about Ursula, the creator of the Biting Pear of Salamanca, at https://redwombatstudio.com/

Partial screenshot of a message from one of Greg's coworkers. Text reads: "@lawdevnull Thank you so much for the _many_ calls with [redacted] to address the _same_ concerns. [dizzy face emoji] I still recall the impact of you saying "Let me open an IDE and show you.." That was brilliant! [woman bowing emoji]"

Screenshot from an invoice by Aeroflow, indicating an "Allowed Amount" of $41.76, and insurance paid $20.77. Normally this would leave a remaining balance of $19.99. But the invoice indicates "Patient Responsibility" of $41.76, as though they had never been paid.

Black and white image from a security camera, showing a raccoon climbing over a squirrel baffle attached to a pole leading to a bird feeder.

Screenshot of a post from basil45.bsky.social, showing 1 repost

Screenshot from the Shutter Declutter app, showing 13,958 photos deleted and 41,368 remaining

Photo of a 1 kilogram bag of Piazza D'Oro Espresso coffee beans, medium roast, Mezzo blend

Photo of a LCD screen showing an outlandishly large salted pretzel in front of a trio of dipping sauces. Text reads "Ask About Virginia's Largest Pretzel"

Photo of a results screen from a go-kart track, showing the results for Greg, the Mrs, and two redacted drivers.

Driver in 4th place completed 11 laps, with a fastest lap time of 34.813 seconds.

Driver in 3rd place completed 10 laps, with a fastest lap time of 32.844 seconds.

Driver in 2nd place is the Mrs, completing 12 laps with a fastest lap time of 29.789 seconds.

Driver in 1st is Greg, completing 14 laps with a fastest lap time of 24.636 seconds.

Norman Rockwell's famous painting of a guy standing up to speak at a town hall

Screenshot of the "Repayment Assistance Plan" payments of $4,048 per month

Screenshot of the US Department of Education repayment calculator, showing the "Extended Graduated Repayment Plan" payments ranging from $1,368/month to $1,693/month, with $413,020 total paid by March 2044.

Screenshot from a USA Today article about Caitlin Clark surpassing all basketball players except LeBron James in jersey sales. Text reads: "Boardroom said a recent social post claimed Caitlin Clark has outsold LeBron James in jersey sales since 2024. 'We have learned that data was unverified and should not have been published or attributed to Fanatics or the NBA. This post has since been removed.'"

Photo of Laura Ingraham at the RNC, giving a sieg heil

The "Bronze Medal" meme. A 2-column, 3-row cartoon drawing of a white guy receiving a medal, biting it, kissing the woman who put it on him, giving the middle finger to everyone around, and popping a bottle of champagne. Then, in the final frame, the reveal is that he only received a bronze.

You can learn more about the meme here: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/bronze-medal

Screenshot of a footnote. Text reads: "See, e.g., White v. Pauly, 137 S. Ct. 548 (2017) (per curiam) (reversing denial of qualified immunity, despite preexisting Castle Doctrine jurisprudence, where police raided a home without announcing themselves and a late-arriving officer promptly shot and killed the homeowner, because the justices agreed with the lower court dissent that was
"unaware of any clearly established law" requiring an officer "who faces an occupant pointing a firearm in his direction [to] refrain from firing his weapon but, rather, must identify himself and shout a warning while pinned down, kneeling behind a rock wall); Sampson v. Cnty. of Los Angeles, No. 18-55450 (9th Cir., Sept. 9, 2020) (granting qualified immunity to social worker who sexually harassed and assaulted a woman seeking to adopt her orphaned niece, then retaliated against her when she reported the conduct; Jessop v. City of Fresno, 918 F.3d 1031 (9th Cir. 2019) (granting qualified immunity to officers who stole $226,000.00 from business owner because "there was no clearly established law holding that officers violate the Fourth or Fourteenth Amendment when they steal property that is seized pursuant to a warrant"); E.W. v. Dolgos, 884 F.3d 172 (4th Cir. 2018) (granting qualified immunity to School Resource Officer who handcuffed "calm, compliant" 10-year-old schoolgirl; Bustillos v. El Paso Cty. Hosp. Dist., 891 F.3d 214 (Sth Cir. 2018) ranting qualified immunity to all parties involved in repeated, increasingly invasive, and ultimately fruitless body cavity searches of American citizen at Mexican border); Cravener v. Shuster, 885 F.3d 1135 (8th Cir. 2018) (granting qualified immunity to officer who broke mentally ill man's arm, beat him with nunchucks, and tased him repeatedly); Lincoln v. Maketa, 880 F.3d 533 (10th Cir. 2018) (granting qualified immunity to Sheriff who violated state ethics law by forcing subordinates to engage in political campaigns on his behalf and firing those…

Screenshot of a survey question from the link in the previous post. Text reads: "It is funny when people with shitty political views die."

Greg has selected "Strongly Agree"

Screenshot of the survey results from the linked page. Text reads:

Your Results
81% Woke - 19% Chud
61% Techbro - 39% Neo-Luddite
53% Hopepilled - 47% Doomer
89% Davos - 11% Dubai

Image of the Biting Pear of Salamanca, a paint by Ursula Vernon (@tkingfisher.com on Bluesky). The image features an enormous green pear, with an open mouth, rather large teeth, and a correspondingly well-illustrated tongue. It is sitting on a grassy hillside with daisies visible in the foreground and a meandering stream in the background on the right. In the far background is a tower.

In white lettering overtop the image are the words "LOL WUT"

You can learn more about Ursula, the creator of the Biting Pear of Salamanca, at https://redwombatstudio.com/

Screenshot of the US World Cup box score, showing the USMNT getting beaten 3-2 by Türkiye -- a team that has already been eliminated.

Screenshot of a partially-redacted Slack message from a coworker to Greg. Text reads: "Greg

[Redacted] engineering leadership was like singing your praises today

Thank you for getting [redacted] unstuck on CLI

They said your mad skills demoing sort of made it possible for the [redacted] legal folks to understand it more"

Video of the northern edge of the Reflecting Pool outside the Lincoln Monument in Washington DC. A large body of water is dotted with rain drops. In the foreground, salt is visible across the entire perimeter. Later in the video, green algae water becomes more apparent, and a bubbler is seen surrounded by salt.

Stone statue of a person Greg doesn't recognize, on a pedestal that reads "Study the Past"

Photo of the front facade of the US Department of Justice Robert F. Kennedy Buiilding. On the second floor, in between two Roman-style columns, an enormous banner of Donald Trump's face scowls down on the citizenry below, over the words "Make America Safe Again"

Photo of an unidentified person wearing a black cape over white robes. His face has been replaced with an emoji

Photo of a pepperoni flatbread pizza that is the size of a cafeteria tray along the diagonal

Screenshot from the Shutter Declutter app, showing 13,039 photos erased, saving 18.29 GB of space

Screenshot of a tweet from @SamMann66058275 on 21 June 2019 at 7:59am EDT. Text reads: "@WardenJellyBean @greg_doucette why you wiping your website? tgdlaw.com/docs/ doesn't seem to be working anymore but there are clearly files there as they have been reverse engineered by those on Kiwi Farms.
HOW EMBARRASSING."

Screenshot of a Mark Rothko painting. A rectangle has a blue-gray border, an algae green interior, and a bright blue stripe going horizontally across the green interior about 1/3 down from the top

Excerpt from the quoted news story. Text reads: "The couple own and are the only employees of a small auto shop just west of Appalachian State University in the North Carolina mountains. Rebecca worries about her husband, whose work as a mechanic can be dangerous. A spring once shot a metal ball joint into their garage wall like a gun. A heavy object crushed Ross' thumb. In 2020, Ross became mostly blind in one eye after repeatedly getting metal shards in it and developing an infection in his cornea."

Screenshot of a Facebook post from NC State University on 14 June 2026 following the ending of the Stanley Cup Finals. Text reads:

Our city is Raleigh
Our campus is bricks
Our jerseys are RED
CANES IN SIX [siren emoji]

Screenshot from the Shutter Declutter app status page, showing Greg has deleted 12,710 photos and saved 17.76 GB of space.

Old movie poster for the 2011 film Hobo with a Shotgun. The portion of the poster feature Rutger Hauer's head has been deleted and replaced with Greg's head, and his name has been replaced with Greg's in the cast list.

Screenshot of a tweet from @ilovarjo on 12 June 2019 @ 10:29pm ET. Text reads: "Speaking of burying reputations...lol for months #kickvic has been calling @NickRekieta #blackfacelawyer. But at least #iStandwithVic does not have #homelesslawyer #hobolawyer
#bumlawyer on their side. [laughing emoji] [rolling on the floor laughing emoji]"

Screenshot of text messages between Greg and the Mrs. Greg sent a photo of the very vibrant floral shirt. Mrs replied:

I
Yea ok
Go ahead and get it
I don't hate it

Selfie of Greg wearing a floral print shirt with basically-neon colors in assorted pinks, blues, and purples

Screenshot of a tweet from @NewsMax sent at 7:18am EDT on 24 June 2025. Text reads: "A government agency spending $300 million in taxpayer dollars to produce sterilized flies sounds like a dream scenario for a DOGE team looking to cut waste, fraud, and abuse."

(This program was to prevent the spread of the New World Screwworm, currently infesting Texas cattle.)

Screenshot of footage from the game camera at Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Finals, moments before the game-winning goal. Everyone behind the Hurricanes bench is standing up, except for 1 bald white guy in a Hurricanes jersey.

Meme of a 1980s style image, with text that reads "Resurrect John Brown and Give Him Power Armor" in a variety of techno fonts

Screenshot of an excerpt from the linked story. Text reads:

Who Gov. Stein, Speaker Hall and Sen.
Berger chose for best president

Now, for who the governor, House speaker and Senate leader told me they think was the best president in U.S. history.

• Stein: Lincoln
• Berger: Washington
• Hall mentioned Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Lincoln, Ronald Reagan and Trump.

Excerpt from the news article linked in the previous post. Text reads:

Asked by a reporter to name his three favorite Hurricanes players, he responded:
"You know, I think we like them all."

Asked to name one favorite player, he said:
"That's a team that's loaded. They're playing offense really well. I'm excited about having them there."

Photo of Greg and the Mrs at Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Finals, both wearing Carolina Hurricanes jerseys. In the background is the Jumbotron, showing the final score with the Hurricanes winning 4-3.

Fake entry in the MIT Technology Review. Headline reads: "If you can build anything with Al why aren't you rich?
Turns out your ideas are fucking stupid"

Subhead reads: "The most successful people are the ones with actual good ideas not just the ones who can use Al tools the best, a new computer model of wealth creation confirms."

Photo of Greg wearing gray cargo shorts and a navy blue GitHub shirt, standing in front of a 2025 Lexus RX350 in a seaweed green color

Screenshot of tweets from Greg on 20 August 2016.

First tweet reads: "The law firm limo is dead.
Long live the law firm limo."

Second tweet reads: "Opted for a comfortable ride that I could use to haul campaign yard signs around [monkey covering his mouth emoji] [monkey covering his ears emoji]"

The second tweet includes two pictures of a 2016 Toyota RAV4 in a bright orange color.

Photo of Greg's domestic long-haired orange cat named Biscuit, laying down in a green cat carrier from Cawpety. Biscuit's head is visible looking out the left-side mesh fabric of the bag, with a mix of curiosity and despair.

Screenshot from Wikipedia showing the election results for US Senate in Texas in 2018, indicating the Democrat Beto O'Rourke lost by 214,921 votes against Ted Cruz

Excerpt from the story in the prior post. Text reads:

When asked if they see Trump as "strong" or
"weak," nine of the 12 said strong. None said weak.

"If he says he's going to do something, he does it, period," Vikki B. said. "Whether you like it or not, he does it. That's why I feel like he's a strong president."

Thau said he thinks this portrayal of strength, even when it is chaotic, is why many of these voters are sticking around.

"The image he portrays is such an important part of their support for him," he said. "That to me is a really important observation: that it's not just about the policies and whether he succeeds or not, it's how he comes across as a leader. And he never, ever, ever tries to display weakness."

Screenshot of a document from the Office of the Attorney General, signed by Todd Blanche, pardoning Trump. Relevant text reads: "The United States RELEASES, WAIVES, ACQUITS, and FOREVER DISCHARGES each of the Plaintiffs from, and is hereby FOREVER BARRED and PRECLUDED from prosecuting or pursuing, any and all claims, counterclaims, causes of action, appeals, or requests for any relief, including injunctive relief, monetary relief, damages, examinations or similar or related reviews, appeals, debt relief, costs, attorney's fees, expenses, and/or interest, whether presently known or unknown, that - as of the Effective Date of the Settlement Agreement - have been or could have been asserted by Defendants against any of the Plaintiffs or related or affiliated individuals (including, without limitation, family or others filing jointly), or parties including trusts, parent, sister, or related companies, affiliates, and subsidiaries, by reason of, with respect to, in connection with, or which arise out of (1) any matters that were raised or could have been raised in the Case or the Pending gency Claims; (2) Lawfare and/or Weaponization; or (3) any matters currenty pending or that could be pending (including tax returns filed before the Effective Date) before Defendants or other agencies or departments."

Photo of a black bowl containing white rice, shredded carrots, some other shredded purplish vegetable that looks like cabbage but did not taste like cabbage, and shredded chicken with teriyaki glaze, all on a bed of white rice

Selfie of Greg wearing a white baseball cap and sunglasses, standing in front of a giant and vicious-looking inflatable rat with sores on its belly in the shape of a smiley face