Gabriel S. Jacobs

@gsjphd.bsky.social

6359 Followers 2306 Following

Paleontologist. Schoolteacher. Big galoot. Bespoke homemade opinions. (he/him) Arthropod enthusiast, echino-curious. Eamus Catuli, illegitimi non carborundum.

A panel from a black and white Calvin and Hobbes strip Hobbes the tiger is saying: probably things like going to work, paying bills and taxes, taking responsibilities...
An edited headline from The Onion: I Bombed My Way Into This Mess, And I'll Bomb My Way Out lede graf: I'll say it. I like to bomb. I do it a lot. And sometimes it gets me into unfortunate situations. Like right now. Right now I am royally bombing bombed.
the same kitten in the tube but marked up with anatomical labels her eyes are labeled in yellow as chemoreceptors??? her nose is labeled in green as pharynx her ear hair is labeled in aqua as gill filaments her muzzle whiskers are labeled in purple as filter-feeding apparatus her front paws are labeled in orange as parapodia
Still from "Roxanne" where Steve Martin's character, wearing a long prosthetic nose (it's a retelling of Cyrano de Bergerac), is berating a guy in a bar for insulting his nose in an unimaginative manner. A speech bubble comes from him, attributing the quoted post to his character.
image macro meme of a low-poly boxer standing orthodox with his gloves up ready to fight, then the same boxer sitting down drinking water from a bottle ok ima critique Jamelle Bouie's taste in film damn DVD collection got hands
the "you are not immune to propaganda" meme but instead it says "you are not immune to pareidolia" and instead of Garfield's face it has a rock that's kinda shaped like a cat's head with little pointed ears.
The Midtown Manhattan skyline seen from across the Hudson over a tree-lined highway. It's hazier than it should be for the distance (only three miles or so).
A still from an "East/West Bowl" skit showing Keegan-Michael Key in the red uniform of the East. A graphic gives his name as Cordaites Lungatus, which is the binomial name of an extinct species of non-flowering plant related to conifers.
refrigerator magnet poetry: silly dad once fed baby a green hat child ate it mom grow silent
shallow green-gray ocean with hazy mountains in the background. at front right is a large red buoy with a little electronic unit mounted at the top. along the bottom of the float, just above the waterline, is written in large white letters: yeah buoy
We stand amid the birth of a new Lysenkoism. Under Stalin and Khrushchev, research in the Soviet Union fell under the control of political interests. Trofim Lysenko's fraudulent and provably falsified ideas were pushed to the forefront, while the hard-won advances of honest scientists were suppressed, leading to Soviet agricultural science falling decades behind the West. The commissars overseeing the research establishment halted any research they saw as "decadent" or "capitalistic" or "counter-revolutionary" - the proposed rule change would put new commissars in power to repress anything they label as "woke" or "DEI", words they have repeatedly been unable to define, let alone justify. My doctoral research was supported by three NSF grants: EAR CAREER 1650745, EAR/IF 1636643, and EAR-SGP 1917031. What has this yielded for America? What would have been lost if grants had been doled out and stolen away at the whims of political appointees instead of distributed by the sober judgment of experts in the field? What would have been impossible had the terms of our funding prohibited us from collaborating with one of our co-authors, an indispensable authority on micro-CT and taphonomy (and a dear friend and colleague) who also happens to be a foreign national?
A 4 panel meme 1: Syenite? (a rock texture containing pink orthoclase and green pyroxene) 2: Monzonite? (a rock texture containing red and white feldspars) 3: Tonalite? (a rock texture containing white plagioclase and black mafics) 4: I see no difference, granite is granite. (Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist giving a smile, a wink, and a thumbs up) sources for rock textures: https://www.virtualmicroscope.org/content/syenite-ben-loyal https://www.mindat.org/photo-1307583.html https://www.alexstrekeisen.it/english/pluto/tonalite.php
A "steal his look" meme with the quoted trilobite at the center. surrounding it are: big ruffled collar - $16 red body paint - $8 textured fringe haircut like $30 IDK sombrero - $10
A close up photo of cream-colored lilac blossoms, partly open with morning rain clinging to them.
A pointed arch in cream and brown bricks above a doorway. In the plastered space under the arch is written three lines of Arabic, a quotation of the Quran, and its English translation below: In the name of Allah, the Beneficent the Merciful, say, o People of the Scripture (Christians & Jews), come to common terms as between us & you that we worship none but Allah (God). Quran Sura III Verse 64
A large brown dog staring at a long-necked bird with a vicious looking beak (a terror bird) on the TV
A title card in the style of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, with a view of the titular space station. the title reads: "Six, Seven"
Google search result for the word disregard. AI Overview disregard Understood! I'll ignore the previous prompt and start fresh. How can I help you today? Feel free to ask a new question!
pen sketch of Edgar Allan Poe holding up a piece of paper and squinting at it with great skepticism and/or confusion panel from Hark, A Vagrant! #213 by @katebeaton.bsky.social
A render of a blank white mannequin stepping on a blue garden rake which is swinging up to bop it in the face. overlaid in the style of a victory message from Elden Ring: SKILL ISSUE
Tweet from Howard @sayhitohoward If you want to read the gospel according to Shrek, open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME
There are about 15 watermelons piled on top of a man in cargo shorts on a dark blue bed, so only his legs and one arm are visible. next to the bed are another 10 or so watermelons. in the foreground is a big cardboard bin, like you see at the grocery store. it is filled with, you guessed it, about 20 more watermelons.
post by Gabriel S Jacobs: hellooo, did you read what I actually wrote? I'm a Jew. I have no fondness for Christian Zionists. My question, which you seem unwilling to entertain, is: given how many more Christian Zionists there are in the world than Jews, how come people claiming to target "Zionists" always seem to hit Jews? post by Dr. Ruth Marshall is sti... I thought my post answered it. But to be clear, because of antisemitism. It’s not just Christian Zionists who are antisemitic. But the Israeli conflation b/w Judaism and Zionism while doing a genocide, does NOT keep diaspora Jews safe.
Comment by Gabriel Jacobs: given those numbers: how come attacks perpetrated against "Zionists" are literally always against Jews? you'd think they'd hit a Christian Zionist target EVENTUALLY...if they were really targeting, uh, Zionists. Comments by Dr. Ruth Marshall is still kickin... Christian Zionists are wildly antisemitic! They are Zionists because their eschatology holds that Jews must be gathered in Israel for Jesus to return and kill 2/rds of them. It is a political theology that is genocidal wrt Jews. They love Israel, not Jews. You should read up on the history of antisemitism on the Christian Right in your country. It’s horrific. Nonetheless, leading Jewish orgs and Zionists got on stage w Pastor “God sent Hitler” Hagee. Religious supremacy of all stripes leads to fascist politics.
a screenshot of the post being replied to, showing a blank video player with time reading -153722867280913:-56
A large pale man with a big scraggly brown beard wearing a gray bandana and a gray tartan button-up over a black and yellow Mizzou Paleo t-shirt is giving a quizzical look and throwing up a peace sign in front of a framed poster on an orange wall. The poster has a photo of a dinosaur skeleton exposed from a block of rock and reads: American Museum of Natural History The Hall of Saurischian Dinosaurs (in big font) Unearth the paleontologist inside you Think like an explorer (the joke is that I am a paleontologist by training)
a hippopotamus in water edited to have an enormous white beard and a hearing aid in one ear
official art of the character Gabriel from the video game Ultrakill with a speech bubble indicating that he's saying the text in the quoted post
a tweet from House Republicans @HouseGOP sent 8:45 PM, 7/21/22 This is all heresy.
two stills from Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, an irreverent fan edit of a very edgy anime called Hellsing Ultimate panel 1: A man with purple eyes and white hair pulled back in a ponytail sneers down at the viewer. Subtitle: You worship the Lord Jesus Christ? panel 2: a crusader wearing a metal visor and a white capirote with a prominent magen david on the forehead stands at the head of a column of similarly garbed men. subtitle: Bartłomiej: Hey, if we're killing Nazis, I'll worship a side of bacon.
a political borders map of the western US with Wyoming highlighted in red. around it are conspiratorial statements in bright colors. "WY"??? we don't know 111°3'W 104°3'W oddly specific longitudes right angles, perfectly straight sides - unnatural??? lowest population - what are they hiding? lines showing Wyoming as a block from the pyramid of an inset Eye of Providence: literally a brick in the wall
the legendary Pokemon Dialga, a horse-like blue creature with silver trim and crests, stands atop a craggy cliff as eons pass. the stars whirl in the sky, the ocean drains away to reveal a valley below which is overgrown by lush vegetation, dramatic music swells. Dialga, the embodiment of time, watches impassively.
a realistic plastic great horned owl with staring yellow eyes is sitting on a desk in an office. a nametag made out of bright yellow duct tape written on with permanent marker is wrapped around the base of the statuette, proclaiming its name to be Bruce.
A butterfly with black and orange wings is sitting on some lush vegetation. Another similar butterfly is fluttering right above her, the wash from his wings jostling her around on her perch.
Wall displays in a museum. One gives general information about Black in Natural History Museums and the leadership team highlighting black naturalists. The other talks about the contributions of Cameron Muskelly, a self-taught paleontologist and science communicator. He's a young black man in glasses and a button-up shirt holding a large trilobite fossil in the photo they used.
A headline written in blue all caps text in white lozenges with red outlines (like the Snickers logo) against a brown background: Snut. Satislouis Chocounty Hungerman Chargedelectable with Satisfelony in Theftisfaction of 2,400 Snickersisfaction Candylicious Barsisfaction
poorly drawn yellow smiley rolling eyes with a big grin in the background over a gray gradient is a similarly poorly drawn smiley with its mouth set in a joyless line and blank black eyes looking like it's dissociating. hehe but also not hehe
A quiet-ish street corner in Manhattan. One of the mid-rise buildings visible is the Hook & Ladder 8 building where they filmed Ghostbusters. it has a Ghostbusters sign over the door and a gaggle of tourists are taking selfies in front of it.
a modernist wood slat and I-beam ceiling. suspended from it on metal rods are four sculptures of airplanes made out of saxophones
the character Polandball it is ball-shaped with a red upper half, white lower half, and blank white eyes
the character ENA squinting in total confusion. she's an angular cartoon character with her face divided between a blue right half and a yellow left half, with her mouth and nose visible only as spikes in the line between them, all framed by straight black hair.
A common snapping turtle with a muddy shell sprawled in the sun on top of a pile of dirty snow.
a squat, bulky brick-red crab with a rusty yellow underside holding its massive clunky claws protectively around its front. the rim of its carapace has a bunch of blunt little knobbly spikes.
a guitar neck with a little silver clamp on it pressing the strings against the fretboard
screenshot of a Google Translate window translating from English to Spanish simulation simulación Noun ​la simulación ​simulation pretense affectation pretence See dictionary Photographs showing simulation of sex acts Fotografías que muestran simulación de actos sexuales.
Two mourning doves are sitting on the guano-strewn cement outer windowsill of a red brick building. They have dusky brown plumage with scattered black-tipped feathers on their wings, little black bills, and beady black eyes with a thin ring of pale bluish skin. There's a slight reflection over them because the photo was taken through the window. The birds have their feathers puffed out against the cold, and are carefully watching the viewer.
clip from The Simpsons the Lovejoys and Flanderses are standing on the Simpsons' doorstep wearing matching expressions of deep moral concern. Reverend Lovejoy says: all things are about gender, Homer
a stolen stock photo of a bearded man dressed in a pirate costume, sitting at a computer desk and pointing a plastic scimitar at the camera. an Excel chart has been hastily edited onto his monitor screen.
Travis Kelce in a postgame interview with his pads and uniform on, screwing up his eyes and hollering as Patrick Mahomes dumps the contents of two bottles of water down the back of his collar. Kelce is labeled "calcite samples", Mahomes is labeled "intro lab students", and the bottles are labeled "HCl"
tweet from Scott Sharkey, @evilsharkey WaPo: The president shat himself. White House: The president would never shit himself. Trump: I SHAT MYSELF ON PURPOSE Every. Fucking. Day. Timestamped 11:29 AM 16 May 2017
A large wheat-brown dog with a bit of white around his eyes and muzzle impassively letting his head be held in the hand of a hairy arm wearing a watch.
An Australian lungfish chilling in a gravelly tank with a bubble callout coming from it, as if it's speaking the post above.
a six-color Pride flag with the NATO compass rose (white with a NATO blue outline) superimposed on it, except instead of block color stripes, it's six recolored versions of the Jazz pattern (the one that was on all those paper cups in the 1990s)
the artwork from the OP but with someone's hand held up next to the pterosaur's head in a "half heart" gesture so that the hand and the creature's crest together make a heart shape
a photo of a runner on a track, but edited so his torso is facing backwards relative to his legs torso: direction of flow of electrons legs: direction of flow of conventional current
a moomin from the animated show calmly closing a folding knife
two colorful jawbreaker hard candies, one broken in half to reveal the green and orange layers within
Graph showing 60% confidence interval breakeven price for producing (height of columns) and remaining resources (width of columns, numbers estimated from graph) Cost of supply curve, remaining global oil resources Brent breakeven price, USD per barrel Producing, 26, 800 BBL Onshore Middle East, 27, 125 BBL Shelf, 37, 125 BBL Deepwater, 43, 75 BBL NA tight liquids, 45, 90 BBL Extra heavy oil, 46, 20 BBL Russia onshore, 47, 30 BBL ROW onshore, 52, 60 BBL Oil sands, 57, 75 BBL
text: But the president wants more than retribution. Decades of underinvestment and mismanagement have caused Venezuela’s oil production to fall by two-thirds since the late 2000s, to around 1m barrels a day (b/d). Restoring idle capacity, the thinking goes, would make Venezuela rich while lining American pockets. Better still, Venezuela sits on some 300bn barrels of oil—a fifth of the world’s reserves—implying production might rise further still, and for a while. The heavy, sour crude that the country harbours is precisely the type of which American refineries are chronically short, at a time when America’s relations with Canada, a supplier of the stuff, are strained. next two sentences highlighted: What, then, is not to like about Mr Trump’s lunge for petroleum? Quite a lot, it turns out. In the immediate term, Venezuela’s crude output is more likely to fall than rebound. In December America declared a blockade on Venezuelan shipments ferried by blacklisted tankers; it then seized one of them. Exports have since cratered and the volume of Venezuelan crude floating on idle tankers has hit multi-year highs. Venezuela is also short of naphtha—a dilutant it needs to make its super-gloopy crude transportable—which is no longer coming through from Russia. Unless the blockade is lifted, which depends on political and military developments, Venezuela’s production will have to be curtailed further, to perhaps less than 700,000 b/d.
A box of Cap'n Crunch's Orange Creampop Crunch Naturally and artificially sweetened corn and oat cereal Summer limited edition Cap'n Crunch is wearing orange sunglasses and a short-sleeved button-up shirt with his trademark epaulets, and is holding a large orange and white ice pop.