Southern Djentleman

@hamsolo.bsky.social

259 Followers 1027 Following

Not southern like you're thinking (unless you like southerners) Banner by @effinbirds https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:cvix4tsa6hhx2j7bknosqiep/feed/aaab5ez5s4jhi

Professor Hubert Farnsworth (from Futurama) speaking into a phone, saying "to shreds, you say?"
Multiple posters on Bluesky (rincewind.run and mdotanton.bsky.social) describing Gio Reyna entering the pitch as an "in case of emergency" status
The teenage mutant ninja turtles logo but it says CARBONATED HOT DOG WATER
A woman singing in the mountains with children in the grass around her. A scene from The Sound Of Music
A screen shot from the website/game 82-0. The projected record is 82-0. The 5 players are as follows: PG: Shai Gilgeous-Alexander: OKC • 2020s SG: Tracy McGrady: ORL • 2000s SF: LeBron James: CLE • 2000S PF: Karl Malone: UTA • 1990s C: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: MIL • 1970s
A photograph of the fictional band "Nickel Back," a promotional stunt by Starbucks to promote their policy of ending every price with .95, giving a "nickel back" for each drink. In 2003, the stunt took on a life of its own and "fans" across the world began putting immense effort into faking photos and videos to add credibility to the commercial gimmick. These participants were called "nickels" and, to this day, anyone pretending to post Nickel Back content is likely to be roundly mocked online as a "fan fiction" enthusiast
Another one of those bullshit Burger King-style graphics. Between yellow buns are the words "BORGER KING" in red. Below them, in brown, it says "Have you Way with it!"
An empty drafts folder
A screen grab of a tweet. The tweet contains an image of the strait of Hormuz and the graphic has been edited so that an "alternate option" of driving oil trucks across the desert is replaced by a pair of portals, orange and blue, and one of the ships has a portal gun. The tweet's text is "could this be a solution?" And the tweet apparently got 2.5M views
An ad for the movie NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM OF THE BIBLE, featuring Dean Cain, Kevin Sorbo, and Larra Donaldson. The named stars are standing in what appears to be a wing of a natural history museum, but with Bible exhibits instead of science. Five children huddle in the background
The Looney Tunes character Foghorn Leghorn standing in front of a slat wall. A speech bubble at the bottom of the image implies he's saying what's in the quoted post
The rules I was fighting fascism with the power of love and kindness and just really getting my ass handed to me. A total bloodbath. The referee would have stepped in by now but they had knocked him out with a steel chair. The only others watching were either fascists themselves or the people trying to fight fascism with the power of love and kindness and they weren't having a great go of it either. I kept trying to explain in between haymakers that we were better than this and on top of that it wasn't likely to be ruled on favorably as far as the courts. None of it helped. I was on my knees now bleeding profusely from the mouth and nose. It spilled out of me onto the snow in a pattern that if you sort of squinted at it from the right vantage looked like a cartoon heart. See that I pointed. Look how beautiful the world can be I tried to say through my broken teeth. Alright well now he was pulling out a gun. I didn't think we were allowed do that.
The trophy for the first annual FIFA Peace Prize. A stylized, poorly-wrought globe is held up by 4 hands, whose awful, possibly veined or possibly scarred wrists are bursting from a round, gold(ish) base. It all sits atop a square black platform just tall enough for a plaque reading "DONALD J. TRUMP President Of The United States"
A picture in the style of a Zohran Mamdani ad. Royal blue background with the yellow words "BREAD FOR TOAST"
A photo of a bright red, amphibious "duck" boat (aka death trap). For your safety, there is an awning over the seating area that will make sure you drown in the likely event of an equipment malfunction, despite your life jacket.
A Facebook ad with a photo of a light brown and black dog. The ad says Animal Care After The Rapture $100 Non refundable pet care for the recapture [sic] only
Screenshot of a skeet by @klovar.cc. It includes a picture saying "Mimi 🌟 followed you" and the post says: EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BLACKMAIL PORN SCAMBOTS ARE BACK, BABEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"
A screen shot from the article, which says: When contacted by CBC, co-chair Karen Goodnough declined an interview request, writing in an email: "We are investigating and checking references, so I cannot respond to this at the moment."
From an episode of the sitcom Community: Dean Pelton standing next to, and admiring, the school's new flag. On a light blue background, yellow words "E PLURIBUS ANUS" surround a pink circle with arrows radiating from its center (meant to abstractly represent a butthole)
Jesus is hanging on the cross, in the traditional white-Jesus-crucifix pose, with a speech bubble staring at the bottom of the frame to give the appearance that the quoted post was said by him
ROOSE I used to feel like a crazy early adopter for using A.I. all the time, but now I feel as if I am actually closer to the median of the people I know, in terms of my daily usage.
Picture of two women, one of whom appears to be whispering something into the other’s ear. Text on the photo reads “Post the four words every girl wants whispered in her ear”
Post from "7 Days To Die Adult Community" on Facebook that says 'I will show show I play, and prove everybody is wrong who is saying I am a cheater'
Screenshot from the user's Signal conversations. The conversation is titled Notes To Self and the text reads Draft: Funk
A grocery store end cap featuring Christmas-themed packages of 20-50 Twinkies
Logo from the TV show Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. The center of the logo is a 3d-styled lightning bolt
A users top albums from Apple Music for 2024: 1. You Won't Go Before You're Supposed To - Knocked Loose 2. LIVING PROOF - DRAIN 3. SUPERBLOOM - Silent Planet 4. 1989 (Taylor's Version) - Taylor Swift 5. The Death Of Me - Polaris
Innocuous skeet by Marshall Steinbaum about an academic paper, followed by a reply that includes the ChatGPT meta-commentary on its own suggested reply
A screengrab from Apple Music showing the cover of "Heaven Let Them Die" by Counterparts. The cover background is white, with a white marble cherub holding a white marble bowl full of dark red blood, running from the cherub's neck into the bowl and overflowing onto a white floor.
A brown/black tabby cat with white paws on a brown comforter, cuddling with discarded aluminum foil.
Skeets by @sambiddle.bsky.social: 1/2: 11 reskeets, 133 quote skeets, 225 replies. I'm gonna give bluesky a try but so far it's still dominated by what I can best describe as "theater kid energy" or "the vibes of an RA trying to organize a dorm activity" 2/2: 57 replies, 30 reskeets + quote skeets. There's also the fundamental issue of "why am I posting in a social network where no one really sees what I'm saying and therefore I am basically larping using twitter"
Two-panel "This is Fine" meme, but the phrase "this is fine" has been replaced by "I don't care who you are, that's funny!!"
The album cover for Picture This by Huey Lewis And The News. The image is a washed-out photo of a white man (Huey Lewis) with a loose pompadour and gray/blue eyes. He is standing in front of a cinder block wall and staring straight into your soul.
A Calvin and Hobbes comic strip where, instead of making the bed himself, Calvin plans to build a robot that can do it for him. Hobbes asks "won't [that] be more work than making the bed?" Calvin replies, "It's only work if somebody makes you do it"
A pair of bookshelves. The left one is natural wood and has puzzles and games. The right one has an eclectic mix of books, 50% of which are from thrift shops and 90% of which have been read. Tucked above the books is a piece of shit asshole kitten with striped tan and black fur and white socks who is a very good boy
A photograph of Gnome Chompsky, a ceramic T. rex in the process of eating one gnome, carrying three, and stomping on a fifth
A promotional photo of AJ McLean, Backstreet Boy, in what appears to be a red velvet zoot suit
A photo of traffic on a highway. A Tesla sedan is passing a Tesla Cybertruck. It's a close competition but the unrendered-polygon look of the Cybertruck is definitely worse than the discount bin Dodge Neon knockoff look of the sedan
The logo for the outdated-but-formerly-ubiquitous media player RealPlayer
"so it's sort of an eternal complaint, like we always used to cite this back in our early days of superhero work. People used to complain about westerns the same way but they lasted for decades and decades...,...."
Snippet from NY Post article criticizing protesters at Columbia University: As I watched students waving “Lesbians for Liberation” and “Queers for Palestine” signs in front of Butler Library — which has the names of great thinkers like Sophocles, Voltaire and Alexander Hamilton inscribed on its facade — I found it hard to ignore just how profoundly the university has failed in upholding its ideals. The Ivy League might once have been a bastion of knowledge and excellence. But today it’s more accurately described as a cesspool of radicalism and bigotry.
[Verse 2] Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas You know he knows just exactly what the facts is He ain't gonna let those two escape justice He makes his living off of the people's taxes
Apparently hand-carved selenite, translucent white with a satin finish. One end appears to be sharp/pointed then it swells in the middle. There is a thin, twisty point that (if this were a knife) would constitute the grip. The flared base (or pommel) is a heart
A tuxedo cat wrapped in a blue fuzzy blanket. He is adorable
The scene from A Lot Like Love where the character is confessing his love for his best friend's new bride, except the man is replaced by Alf and he's just trying to gas up the girl his friend loves
A shot from the sitcom The Office. Michael Scott is giggling at Harvey, who is a computer monitor with post-it note eyes and chatter teeth, as Harvey says "boobs"
A screen capture of the Facebook page for Tay.ai, a Microsoft chatbot that turned racist almost immediately and had to be taken offline
Quote from EA's CEO: and so the way we think about this is how do we build these things to be more efficient?.... And then how do we give that to the world... where you have 3 billion players... creating personal content and expanding... the universes that we create and building and creating their own universe on our technology platform, all of a sudden we are the beneficiaries of platform economics."
Argument on bluesky. I'm sorry, I already typed it out once and it all disappeared so I give up on this alt text
A poster for Warheads-flavored Four Loko. The background is an unpleasant yellow-to-purple ombre and there are two aliens, for some reason
A Twitter post from The Hill: conservative social media is engulfed with a Taylor Swift conspiracy theory centered on the idea that the NFL is rigging games for Swift's boyfriend's team to win the Super Bowl, potentially tying in with an endorsement for President Biden
The cover of The Beast by RL Stine. Two teenagers riding downhill on a roller coaster with a ghost chasing them. For some reason, the cover also has what appear to be Fozzie Bear's hands, shackled together and with metal nail caps over his claws.
Jared holt skeets From today: did not make my point costly enough and ended up stepping on a take in the process. Digesting a bit more and coming back to it later His most recent previous skeet (3 days ago): they say "don't meet your heroes" but this guy was okay. (Attached photo of Jared and a large turkey mascot, both seemingly happy to be there)
Not going to waste your time, the author is complaining that women in genre films tend to be 1) hackneyed, 2) too tough, and 3) not as funny as they could be. I assume the same article about men will be coming out tomorrow (it won't)
Album cover - Good News For Anyone Who Loves Bad News by Modest Mouse
A blog post on the site flex jobs dot com discussing the "ai gender gap." The gist is that men are using it much more in their personal and professional lives. It goes on to discuss how great ai can be for job searching
A posed photo of lassie, the famous border collie. She is sitting on a stone ledge wider than she is, with clear blue sky behind her clean white and auburn fur
Graffiti on the wall separating Bethlehem from Jerusalem. In green, "Jesus wept for Jerusalem ~ we weep for Palestine"
A tweet from GOP Josh. A photo of 6 adolescent boys trying to look cool on a subway platform. captioned "the female mind, the beta mind, and the liberal mind are all the same. none of them can comprehend the levels of alpha male in this one photo."
A bus-plane hybrid soaring majestically through the sky, likely taking Bladerunner from his Bladehome to his Bladejob