Hare Lockwood

@harelockwood.com

1242 Followers 565 Following

Comedy writer, producer; queer autistic nerd; spreadsheets enthusiast. She/her. Pet hamster 🐹 Free, monthly zoom gig: @coherentcomedy.com 🍓 Writer, etc. for @thedailytism.com Hire me for comedy things via my website.

A brown hamster with satin fur, which makes him look very shiny.
Joe Wilkinson on Taskmaster, hands on his face, saying "Please don't take it away from me."
A stack of books called "Tuesday Suicide Club" by Richard Osman.
Hamster looking at me like, "Who the fuck are you?"
Star Trek lapel badge, looks very much like the design in the lift
A terrarium: a self-contained ecosystem or "a bunch of plants in a jar".
Guylian chocolate seashells
The above post with the tag "Suspected Inauthentic Behaviour" added to it by Skywatch Blue.
A hamster sits cutely and calmly while I bestow sunflower seeds upon him.
A hamster, woken up in the middle of the day and having had all his lovely stink removed from his cage. He is staring at me with fury emanating from him.
AI summary from Google calling me a data nerd who is also an autistic nerd. OK OK I GET IT.
A Pokémon Mimikyu which looks like a haunted Pikachu.
Yet another blurry photograph of this little hamster, with his paw up at the glass of his cage. I would dearly love to let him out but for now he runs away every time I open the lid. We'll get there.
Blurry, out of focus picture of a hamster with ENORMOUS cheeks. His entire day's food is in his face.
Countdown to a live Q&A on patreon later for Murder of a Famous Bastard, by Mark Watson
Advert: "One legging, 90 uses. One pair. " In smaller text: "90 ways to wear it. Gym, school, run, site, none of them off limits."
A small brown hamster inside a cluttered cage
A hamster in a cage, t-rexing his arms. He's looking very sleepy.
6 July: Night? Not for this day. Total night: 00:00.
Blurry photo of a brown hamster eating a sunflower seed
A small brown hamster in a cluttered cage, looking alert
Guy Kelly: voice message
Colchester's magic roundabout (five mini roundabouts, one big one). Image from the wiki page.
A brown hamster sitting on a food bowl. His fur is satin and his feet, ears and nose are pink.
a series of stuff on my desk, including: Taskmaster badges, Scottish badge, pride badge, purple Hare by Nat Young, rubber duck, crocheted strawberry and pumpkin, and a little plastic table that goes in the middle of your pizza. (Carmella Carmella Carmella-ooooh.)
A hamster reaches through a gap in his cage to get a delicious sunflower seed
A hamster cage with deep bedding. There's a hamster digging a tunnel at the front.
A small brown hamster on his hind legs, one paw up at the glass of his cage. His cheeks are fat with food, his nose is pink and tiny, his expression is curious.
a small brown hamster peeks over a cardboard tube
A shiny little hamster with his back to us, pressed up against the glass
Taskmaster on YouTube says: "A true Taskmaster legend returns. Mark Watson's ultimate episode arrives tomorrow!" Mark is be-shacket-ed, sitting in front of a table, smiling. Patatas is in the background next to a big 'M', and I spy what seems to be a heron statue too.
Round brown hamster
Headline: "Why are Scotland fans putting traffic cones on statues in Boston?" Picture provided is of exactly that.
A brown hamster photographed from above, looking disdainfully at me for interrupting his snack time
Saltire with a yellow crest in the middle, red lion and thistles surrounding it. Text: "Scotland, Est. 1873."
A hamster standing up with its paws against the glass.
A small brown hamster looks curiously in my direction.
A little hamster, sleepy, ears down, investigating
a light brown hamster in a cage, looking up at the camera
Greg and Alex drawn on a piece of silver foil
A light brown hamster in a big wheel. (No name yet.)
A big (100x50x50) hamster cage with 8inch bedding, hides, tunnels, chews, and a big wheel.
Advert: "Finally, bracelets for book people."
Chrissy and Hare at the Taskmaster live experience, sitting inside the hutch.
My mum, wearing summery clothes, sunglasses and a wide-brimmed hat. She's looking gently at the camera (and the photographer, my stepdad).
Chris with his hand on his face; Hare staring threateningly at the audience.
Wiki page for Data from Star Trek.
Advert for a Fringe show - 'Making Love with Mark Watson'. (Not shown: 7th Aug, Assembly, Edinburgh Fringe. "Mark will share a love story and then David and his crew will re-enact it as a full blown musical!")
Me, a smiling white woman, with a sage green top and a straw hat. There's blue skies and green grass in the background, a loch, and purple rhododendrons.
DS9: "Miles O'Brien has a lovely day"
TNG title: the episode where you can teleport through shields
A person wearing a bonnet, with an egg car on it. The egg car has been labelled, due to the artist's poor rendering skills.
A finger-drawn sketch which very very vaguely shows Paddington leading toy-Paddington to the pearly gates.
69%
A comment from A Man: 'object permanence so bad she lost a game of peekaboo to a toddler' ouch I'm gonna steal this phrase from now on
Bart, Lisa and Maggie Simpson stare forlornly out the window. "They're fighting in the car again." "That music always sends a chill down my spine."
A hamster with his head at the bottom of a ceramic cup
Me, reunited with Correct Noodles
Picard tips: "Picard management tip: Used sparingly, some light swearing can help emphasize your damn point." Sooz Kempner, in an unrelated post: "you fucken serious with this, cunt?"
Hans Moleman from the Simpsons, "I was saying Boo-urns."