Helen Brooks

@hellsbells.bsky.social

1965 Followers 635 Following

Comedy writer: Naked Week and The Skewer BBC Radio 4, Breaking the News BBC iplayer, Noising Up BBC Radio Scotland

Bowl of red, yellow, green, orange, purple tomatoes
Headline reading 'Britain's Kerr breaks 27-year mile world record in London'
A salvia plant with green leaves and purple bracts
Scene of the sun on hills and hedgerow with smoke billowing over the hill from a fire on the moors
A golden field full of grasses and purple thistles (knapweed) with a hawthorn hedge in the background
A wooden bowl filled with tomatoes of different shapes and colours
A news announcement saying no minions worked for hitler
A vine of tomatoes on the plant, with the top ones orange and the lower ones green
Green and yellow beeswax candles lit in the foreground with an arch full of sweet peas in the background
A white plate of salad leaves with goat's cheese crostini, sprinkiled with broad beans, chilli, chives, garlic scapes and calendula petals
Two women with curly strawberry blonde hair and glasses smiling in front of an outdoor stage
Small garden veg plot with two raised beds and a compost bin. The raised beds have a few little plants in
Screenshot of a whatsapp message saying 'you can put lemongrass in your water butt'
5 bottles of actual elderflower cordial I really did actually make that sadly does look like piss
Small bowl filled with different salad leaves: red and green lettuce, red mustard, nasturtium, hawthorn, parsley plus purple and yellow viola flowers
Zine front cover. It is called Spin Cycle and has a lino printed washing machine
Jungly looking bright green foliage in background, a small delicate purple chilli flower in the foreground
Woman in green jumper and old England cricket baseball cap working on a laptop in the garden with a tabby cat curled up asleep in her arms.
The 'And Tiny Tim, who did NOT die' still from Muppets Christmas Carol, modified to say 'And the element of concern, who was NOT new'
Lino print of birch trees
Lino printed birch tree trunks
Blurry photo of Cwfen, a four piece band from Glasgow. The lead singer is in the middle, a woman with long black hair and goth style make up. Also in the photo are two guitarists. The drummer wasn't in shot sadly
The full moon reflected in a lake
An image of text that says: I had loads of great times in 2025 but it’s impossible to look back on the year without bumping into the fact that my dad died in August (on my birthday thanks dad) and that has coloured everything since then. I am aware of how unpalatable it is to continually talk about it, but in every conversation or interaction I am suppressing the want to say ‘hey did you remember my dad died?’ ‘yes I would like a bag and also my dad died’ ‘wow well done on your promotion! but how about MY DAD DIED’ I am filled with burning anger and disbelief and it’s very unbecoming and not conducive to nice drinks with friends or watching a film with my boyfriend or going ice skating with my children. I am all the time trying to remember all the parts of me and pull them all back into my orbit but I think maybe it’s all different now? And my goal for 2026 is just to see where things land and continue to be so so grateful for my people and my health and my ability to find joy in a nice scone, or in singing along to a record with the candles lit while it’s raining outside, or in growing tomatoes. So I will plant the seeds and light the candles even while the rain lashes the windows because I know the weather will change.
A rough and ready snowflake printed in dark brown ink on brown paper
A sky blue circular badge with stars on in shades of blue and grey, saying The Welkin Writing Prize, Supernova of Scribbling
A square fire basket filled with lengths of twisted honeysuckle wood
Christmas cake covered with white Roy icing in 'stiff peaks', topped with small 80s style santa, reindeer and snowman
Purply pink clouds over moorland hills, with a wire fence in the foreground
A small cylinder of untreated wood, wrapped with jute twine with small branches of pine, Holly and hawthorn woven in
Winter squash 'little dumpling' cut in half and full of seeds for next year
I am doing a pole dance move called arrow
light blue and grey and pink and purple winter morning sky
My spotify wrapped heavily featuring Scottish doom metal band Cwfen
A castle on the beach in the sunset
A winter tree with no leaves under a bridge. Water from the bridge has dripped onto the branches and frozen so every branch has an icicles on it
A stormy moorland with reservour in view
I have amended the NYT piece entitled 'Did women ruin the workplace?' by adding 'by eating all the doughnuts'
V blurry image of Ilana from Broad City saying 'You have been busting my balls all day over A SAHNDWICH?!'
Two attractive young vibrant young smiley young women in green winter hats in an autumn forest
A ginger guinea pig with a black and purple felt with hat on. He is in a pumpkin carved to look like a cottage.
Tiny container garden with sage, kale, calendulas and chrysanthemums. There are some little bee baths and a coconut half for the birds.
Green tomato chutney cooking in my frying pan with apples, chilli, ginger, garlic and red onion. Tomatoes and chillis grown by me, apples from the community orchard
Instruction sheet for a Black Metal Arch
Pile of dogeared Terry Pratchett books
A cat lying on my thigh. She has plenty of room because of my LONG FEMURS
Picture of a bundle of hay with a guinea pig hidden in it. The guinea pig is called Cinnamon Buns
A still from Broad City, Ilana is saying 'That is rape culture language right there'
Picture of me with my pale pennines skin on Valencia beach
Photo of some strawberries, tomatoes, chard and purple peas from my garden :)
Kemi saying the youth mobility scheme threatens 'free movement through the back door'
A photo of me ankle deep in a beautiful reservoir surrounded by parched fields