Portuguese Village Elder

@hellsdaydream.bsky.social

2269 Followers 3424 Following

Why should a dog, a horse, a rat, have life, And thou no breath at all? Thou'lt come no more, Never, never, never, never, never!

(Latest episode of zany trans sitcom) Parents: Hey, uh, what are all these used needles doing in your drawer? (gasp from studio audience) Hapless protagonist's internal monologue: Oh god, they've found my HRT! This is a nightmare! I'm not only gonna die, I'm gonna have people post hashtags about me and think they're doing activism! (small chuckles from studio audience) Hapless protagonist: Uh... drugs. I'm... I'm a huge junkie. Yup, I just can't stop... injecting that... delicious crack! (studio audience hysterical laughter and applause, theme tune snippet plays)
CHARLIE: Oh, guys, you gotta check out this book I found, it is crazy. It’s all about slavery and torture and cannibalism, I think some serial killer musta written this. FRANK: Hey, hands off my employee handbook! I keep that as a memento of the best days of my life! CHARLIE: No, dude, it’s not your employee handbook, I can’t even read that. DEE: Yeah, wait, how are you even reading anything? We both know you can’t read. CHARLIE: No, it’s cool, I can kinda just… read this one. DENNIS: Whoa, OK, is anyone else getting bad vibes from that? MAC: Ohhhh no are we scared of the scary story? Is the nasty book too scary for you? CHARLIE: Yeah, you gonna need a nightlight cause of the big mean book? DENNIS: Hey! Trust me, nobody here has read more about torture than me. You know, for research. But am I the only one sorta suspicious about a book Charlie can suddenly read? MAC: Come on, bro, it’s just a book. What do you think’s gonna happen?