Sarah Sweeney

@heysweeney.bsky.social

1915 Followers 235 Following

Writer (Vogue SlackJaw McSweeney’s NYT The Bold Italic) | Voice Actor | Hopscotch Enthusiast www.sweeneyproject.com

An autographed photo of a nine-year-old Macaulay Culkin to whom I wrote a love letter and requested this gift in return.
Up until recently, I had somebody I adored who I exchanged selfies with regularly. That ended abruptly because as far as I can tell men the world over are fundamentally broken. So here’s a photo of me in the West Village wearing a white button-down shirt and a green jacket with a fun collar looking absolutely smashing.
Screenshot of my flight check-in offering to purchase more baggage
Filter-free photo of woman (me) in the bathroom of a sushi joint in the UWS. The lighting was absurd, vanishing all signs of one’s 40s with crazy like illuminated eyes? Idk that place was wild.
A great photo of America’s sweetheart Richard Kind.
Wherein I, a witch, have left three nickels and four walnuts on my window ledge for the crows in my backyard in an effort to build a friendship and be flown away to their mystical dimension of peace and tranquility.
A billboard in Times Square with the horrific headline “Stop Hiring Humans AI Employees Are Here.” So. Yeah.
At a gym, a row of like a dozen vacant elliptical machines.
POV of a middle-aged newly divorced woman looking down at her basketball in hand. She’s in Harlem, NYC, where there’s practically a court for every resident, so she’s learning a new thing which she’s surprisingly decent at. Boys who play her don’t mind her insanely flagrant fouls. She’s learning new things in this new world. It’s scary and hard but it’s going to be fine. Also, threes.
Art etching of a before and after: a bald guy and then him with practically a mop on his head. Caption is “New Faces from The Hair Club For Men”
Whoopie Goldberg on stage at Annie on Broadway in NYC.
A statuesque woman in a cool leather jacket, lookin svelte in v-neck dress and pointy boots bought at TJ Maxx, me I’m the woman, stands at a podium reading the first chapter of what could be something great if she puts more time and effort into it. Her hair is bangin’ btw.
NYC Subway print ad of a fit young woman with a huge ass that’s advertising, uhh, huge ass surgery. The benefits listed include: No downtime Plump & Lift Your Booty Natural-Looking The last one is my favorite because natural looking it is not.
Some dummy who took a reasonably decent selfie and using a social media trend as an excuse to post it
Ok, I like futzing around with pen and watercolors sometimes. I have no idea what I’m doing and my last art class was 11th grade. This is a small illustration + watercolor of the corner of 20th & Broadway in Manhattan. In the foreground, it’s got one of those huge orange and white tube things that releases steam from the subway. The building behind it is the Warren Building, a neo-Renaissance style babe with blue awnings and a solid watercolor job on the arched windows of I do say so.
In a woodsy park in Harlem, a super fit, shirtless man in teal shorts balances on a tight rope connected to two trees. He’s posed like a ballet dancer. I said hello when he lost his balance. He was smokin hot.
A flyer mailed to me advertising new trash bin requirements in NYC. It has a photo of a rat with a teardrop emoji under its eye with the caption “no more snacks!” honestly like Stuart Little saying “please sir, may I have some more?” And it’s breakin my heart.