Howard Mittelmark

@howardm.bsky.social

2606 Followers 558 Following

I can explain https://howardmittelmark.com/about

A lululemon ad for a new line of clothing that isn't skin-tight, called Breezily.
A picture of Boar's Head Limited Edition Apple Pie Dessert Hummus. Maybe that's a thing, dessert hummus. I don't know. I'm not being paid to do research.
A tall, temporary fence, behind which might be THE EVENT, but that is uncertain, because there are two signs, one reading THIS WAY TO THE EVENT, the other reading NO ACCESS TO THE EVENT.
Valeria Lipovetsky, an influencer, stopped doing her nails regularly two years ago. “My life quality has improved substantially since I stopped doing my nails,” she said in an interview, adding that she had more brain capacity and more time. The video she posted last year about her decision has been viewed more than three million times and has seen a resurgence in shares and views lately.
The presumably discussed GIRLS entrance to a local school. It is a stone doorway in a brick wall, with GIRLS carved in the transom. There is a metal gate blocking the door and barricades in front of that.
A screenshot of a an X post from Katie Miller. Not included is a picture of her, pregnant. Text reads: In honor of Mother's Day, a reminder that peak feminism is having babies. The most radical thing a woman can do is embrace her biological destiny.
Tall-ish editor with unkempt hair and a white beard in a very cool T-shirt (https://octophant.threadless.com/designs/biblically-accurate-hot-dog) standing in front of Kirkdale Bookshop in Sydenham, either smiling or wincing, it's hard to say for sure.
This is a screenshot from my notifications, reproducing the two things I said here today. One is asking if a post was quoting Eels (Susan's House), and the other is name-checking Wayne Shorter, on Wild Things Run Fast, which might be the last physical Joni Mitchell album I bought, on cassette, I think.
In a never publicly released story by Edith Wharton, a dinner party goes on in a French chateau during the summer of 1918 as World War I nears its end and while the booms of guns can be heard in the distance. “The Men Who Saved the World,” a previously unreleased fictional short story by the Pulitzer Prize-winning author, appeared posthumously on Friday in The Strand Magazine, a quarterly publication.
A screen shot of a giant phantom jellyfish, with text reading: This is a giant phantom jellyfish that was spotted in Monterey Bay, California approximately 3,200ft (975m) beneath the surface. This specific type of jellyfish has only had approximately 110 confirmed sightings in 110 years
A paragraph about setting a novel in the recent past so as to avoid the latest tech, with which some authors might not be entirely familiar.
Sam Altman: "We see a future where intelligence is a utility...and people buy it from us..."
Pope Leo Warns of Risks From A.I. in 42,300-Word Encyclical
Unmarked transmitting tower in a New York City street.
Subhead to a Guardian article reading: In a collapsing world, artists like Slayyyter and Cobrah are chasing extreme highs with hyperactive music and debauched lyrics. Is their trashy vibe emancipating – or a bit contrived?
A John Lewis truck, with their slogan, Never Knowingly Undersold, circled
A paid promotion on X for an AI app that posts for you on X.
This an ad for an app called The Living Library. "Talk directly to the consciousness of your favorite book." "Name a book. Hear it answer."
This is a screengrab from an op-ed by Junot Diaz titled "We've Become Too Savage for 'The Lord of the Flies," which makes the valid but obvious point that our culture has changed since it was published, and the probably valid and probably equally obvious point (can't be sure, haven't seen it, but really, it is not very likely he is wrong about this) that the current Netflix Lord of the Flies series is not good. The screengrab is of a paragraph citing various media that show the influence of LotF, some of which, sure, but he goes on to say that The Shining, The Stand, The Mist, and Under the Dome by Stephen King are all versions of Lotf.
The subject line from an email I received: I'm a bad girl and I need to be punished.
Picture of an egg beater
Yesterday, class counsel in the Bartz v. Anthropic lawsuit filed papers apprising the court that 440,490 of the 482,460 eligible works had been claimed—a remarkable 91.3 percent rate (the typical class action claim rate is around 10 percent).
The packaging from a frozen dinner, P.F. Chang's "Korean Inspired Pork." (Which I had last night. It wasn't bad for this sort of thing.)
Chocolate-covered cashews on sale in a locked cabinet at CVS
Screenshot of a page from United Airlines asking for contributions to help them fight climate change.
A panel from one of those Privacy consent things that pop up when you visit a website for the first time. This one wants you to consent to sharing information with advertisers under the rubric of "Legitimate interest," which I guess is supposed to make us think that these are somehow legitimate in a way other interests in our data are not, that these interests are above-board, sincere, good interests, and we would be troublemakers or something to withhold consent from interests so legitimate.
The title of a service piece: The Best Laptops for Older Adults
A road sign that says "Elderly people" accompanied by an illustration of bent-over old people, reminiscent of the old lady in the Tweety Bird cartoons.
It's a section of copy for a horror novel that starts "A devastating, five-timeline tale..." as if it's a selling point, which who knows, it might be, maybe the reading public is clamoring for more and more timelines, and I'm just out of step, settling for fewer timelines. Maybe I'd even come around if I read it and realize it was what I wanted all along, maybe I'd finally be happy if I started reading novels with two-digit timeline counts, because this isn't working for me. Maybe I'd be kicking myself for the years I've wasted reading, writing, editing novels with one, two, or three timelines. I don't know. Certainly whatever combination of factors that made up my life until last week wasn't working, and that includes many many novels with only one or two timelines. Maybe I wouldn't have left my wife and kids and taken to the road on this old Harley I stole from a drug kingpin, and I wouldn't have the mob, the FBI and strange, shadowy figures I am pretty sure are aliens on my tail. Who can say? But we all make our choices, I guess. Well, gotta run, I can hear somebody at the door of this motel room, and I've lit the fuse on the trap I rigged, and it's going to take a minute to get through that bathroom window. Good luck to you all, because if this can happen to me, I guess it can happen to anyone.
A picture of a woman in a fancy but questionable outfit, over the headline "Do I Need to Keep Up With Microtrends?"
A post on twitter from Gavin Newsom: Bob Weir was a true son of California who helped create the soundtrack of a generation. He was -- and will always be -- a king of psychedelic rock. Bob will be deeply missed, and his music will forever live on.