Ian

@ian262.com

289 Followers 738 Following

He/him Atheist Rejoin EU Sherwood Forest

A 12-panel comic strip by Stephen Collins depicting Jesus sitting in a modern corporate branding meeting discussing Easter traditions. The dialogue goes: Panel 1: Jesus: "Eggs." Panel 2: Woman in glasses: "Eggs, yes." Panel 3: Jesus: "Eggs made of chocolate." Panel 4: Woman: "Yes." Panel 5: Jesus: "And a big rabbit." Panel 6: Woman: "A big, man-sized rabbit, yes. He gives you the eggs." Panel 7: A wide shot of the office. Jesus asks, "How long have you guys been working on this?" Someone replies, "About 1,982 years." Panel 8: Jesus: "Do you not think you might have over-thought it? I don't recall chocolate eggs being in the original brief." A man replies, "Look, Naz—" Panel 9: Jesus: "My name is Jesus of Nazareth." The man interjects: "Sure—Jez, listen:" Panel 10: The man continues: "We've done our research. People still want your brand. But they also want a Crunchie and a mug." Panels 11 & 12: Jesus stares silently in disbelief. Panel 13: Jesus speaks: "Put a wordsearch on the back." The man responds: "That's gold."
The comic illustrates a man named Ian passing away and navigating the afterlife, only to emerge through a doorway labeled "Exit Via Gift Shop." The lower panels depict a variety of branded souvenirs based on his life—such as "Ian's Life: The DVD," a mug reading "Ian," an "Ian Stress Ball," a book titled "The Little Book of Shit Ian Said," and a poster reading "Keep Ian and Carry On.
Only Connect-style puzzle red heering showing Cigarette Peace Sign Piano Taxi Cab
Coronation Street Set, Granada TV Studios, Manchester 1991. Tken from outside the Rovers Return, looking dow the street, you can see Jim's Bike Shop under the Archers, and the Kabin
Dopamine strut Tuesday night
Susie Blake as a continuity announcer on Victoria Wood as seen on TV. She's making judgements about a common person with a sun lounger.
Dawn French parodying Sonia
A white mug with NHS Holby City Foundation Trust written on it
Retro black and white advert for A Midsummer Night's Tube. Late night Channel 4 music show from the 80s. The advert takes the form of a close-up of button badges from bands on a jacket lapel. Culture Club, David Bowie, Shalamar, U2 etc
Thermosta
French and Saunders as Boyzone with Kathy Burke.
A biggish garden
Guy Martin and Lauren Laverne in the Desert Island Discs studio
Kylie handing a rose to a friend
Victoria Wood and Roger Moore being spies on the London Eye. Roger is reading the Beano.
We don't do duvets. Trev & Simon
Old fashioned cinema external signage saying: "Sod the sunshine, come sit in the dark"
Star Trek Next Generation. Hugh: Janus
Mrs Overall posting a letter. Blimey, oh fiddley-bob, no pillar box. React, react, react!
Two *separate* downloads from the BBC website
Sid's dad 😪😪😪 (Supermarket delivery bags with tracking code "Skins"...)
Alphabet touch screen on Royal Mail parcel locer with no @ or . keys
Andrew Windsor and Fergie on stamps
Venn diagram with answer to a maths puzzle
The book Careless People by Sarah Wynn-Williams, alongside a Wispa Easter egg with a picture of George Michael on it. Guilty feet have got no rhythm...
Eggs. Eggs, yes. Eggs made of chocolate. yes. And a big rabbit. A big. man-sized rabbit, yes. He gives you the eggs. How long have you guys been working on this? Aboyt 1,982 years. Do you not think you might have over-thought it? I don't recall chocolate eggs being in the original brief. Look, Naz My name is Jesus of Nazareth Sure - Jez, listen: We've done our research. People still want your brand. But they also want a Crunchie and a mug. Put a wordsearch on the back That's gold. 1/20 The Guardian Stephen Collins
2019 7 January, Yorkshire. On the war memorial at Malham is the inscription: Live thou for England We for England died I don’t know if this is a quotation, or an injunction that was, as it were, custom-made, but I find it - if only slightly - misplaced, and I don’t wholly concur, as the sentiment reduces what was a sacrifice to more of a bargain: we did this for you, now see you do your bit in return by living in a way the dead might have approved (whatever that might be). It’s an admonition, which I don’t like, but war memorials often take this finger-wagging tone. ‘Do better.’ When Trump destroys the world those who are left will look at one another and wonder why nobody stopped him.
The teabag is kind of saying, write to The Thames TV - tell them to bring back Metal Mickey.
Ateries clogging
Alex Kerkovich eating ribs
Jen Dodds chucking a bit of Ailsa Craig down some ice.
Ready to order, Sir, Madam? Julie Walters in Victoria Wood's Waitress sketch with Two Soups
Legs and Co in tartan for no very good reason.
We'd like to apologise to viewers in the North. It must be awful for them.
Bored of the Beckhams
Bored of the Beckhams.
Carol Vooooderman-type solving of a number puzzle on a challenge-per-day (one at the weekend) calendar.
Delivery 2.15 - 5.15
Lift floor display showing rows of some manner of linux rebooting code
Simon Calder dragged out at any sign of a snowflake to be patronised by Naga and Charlie.
Dogma
Kate Thornton harassing Justin. Whoever he is.
Ultra. No Me neither.
Steps in 1999
Alda
Mel C and Bryan Admas