Idiot Kitchen

@idiotkitchen.bsky.social

321 Followers 199 Following

I may be an idiot, but I'm not stupid

Kronk smugly displaying his Monster Fucker Permit
Kain about to smash Abel in the back of his dumbass head with a rock dudes rock
Jones soda did a Turkey Gravy flavor
squirrel eatin a segment of orange
TI-83 plus with transparent plastic case
Facebook post about some dickhead who hit a garbage can full of concrete with his truck. The truck is all fucked up
Farquaad pointing derisively
"the chinese are puffing shit i couldnt even fathom" The tweet depicts a pack of Chinese cigarettes in a lavender package with herbal images. The tweet says, "I bought cigarettes! When I saw them on the shelf, I thought they were lavender flavored, but they turned out to be taro ice cream!! It's so fragrant!! Every bite is so delicious! It tastes like the taro milk tea I used to drink as a child. I especially love it!"
twitter thread from 2021 about the kid who used to soak their webkins plush cat in milk and suck on it and slam it around
Figurine of Twilight Sparkle in a large mason jar with glitter on the inside
DRUMS METAL CORDS adhere to walls and machinery BLACK WIRE CROWD S basin and machine When I engaged in endless talks about adjustments. to give super strength. Enhanced dexterity body stronger than STEEL Completelt re-engineered KNIVES rip off the outside / cuts and abrasions Interlocking metal parts WELDED inside. / bending and cracking. There are workers. to hold eyes open / Applies maximum tension instantly hot chemicals and liquids. melt to your parts, instantly sticks pain DRUMS STOPS It seems like people arm movi9ng on platforms, mezzanines and catwalks. IN Flame and Virgin resin. We were galvanized Impossible to realign the strongest embedded in surrounded by steel. (cuts and abrasions.
Jamiroquoi (sp?) doing the reach toward the camera move "Virtual insanity is cool but have you ever just been insane"
2 tips for this heat: 1.) drink lots of water 2.) watch how you fucking talk to me
Picture of the earth being immolated and the caption says "My DOODADS!"
Pair of pan fried hot dogs in buns dressed with honey mustard
Dude posing in front of the poster for the "Supergirl" film The overlaid text reads, "'Have you seen Supergirl?' Gotta be more specific buddy There's 4.13 billion of them"
Picture from a photoshoot of Willen Defoe where he's laying on an upright piano. The text says, "Successfully wasted half of 2026"
Two lovebirds snuggling, labeled "proton" and "neutron" while a third, out of focus in the distance watches; this one is labeled "electron"
Cucumber plant hiding dozens of yellow flowers beneath its umbrella like leaves
Tall vining peas in a slightly over packed garden. This one vine has about 8 sugar snap peas growing on it and there are small white flowers heralding more
it's completely illegible, what did you expect
ASCII art of various explosives, incl. dynamite, rockets, and a hand grenade
Slide from a presentation by Zack Friedman, AKA Voidstar Labs. Pyramid of needs, except the text is all in comic sans. The fundament of the pyramid is "Food, shelter, financial security" Above it is "Respect, status, recognition" the penultimate segment is "The sheer joy of creative expression" The top of the pyramid is "BIONICLE"
Super Smash Bros Melee character select screen on the dashboard screen of a motor vehicle
Desert Pepper brand medium salsa, LOADED with beans, peppers, and corn
clip art of a guy in a green shirt wiping his forehead with a towel
Excerpt from a Wikipedia Article: "An attorney at the judgment reported Heemeyer muttering, 'I'm just gonna bulldozer this whole place to the ground.'" The next heading is titled "The Bulldozer"
Onion knight from Dark Souls busting a move (dodging deadly blade traps)
Picture of an really big inflatable gorilla with a sign attached to its chest that says "Buy 1 get 3 free" And the caption says "Fuck yeah dude gimme four massive gorillas"
Canada leaf red cowboy hat
male top male electrical cord, aka "The Devil's Jump rope"
YouTube Video from "Wenting Channel" (what the heck does that mean) titled "How I made a 60fps Eink Monitor, the Modos Flow" and the thumbnail has the text "Eink But fast."
Hand buzzer you wear on your hand and it shocks people when you shake hands, as a prank
Post on r/mensfashion of a mirror selfie of some dude wearing the whole 18th century getup with overcoat, tricorne, and buckle shoes. "Job interview tomorrow. Is this too much?"
Frosted white cake with a rainbow design on top, and the text "it just doesn't matter" added in blue gel
Picture of four bottles of Minion themed champagne or more likely sparkling cider with a pint glass in the foreground. The text overlaid says, "She Will be hearing from me tonight"
"a bottle of this before operating a vehicle>>" picture of a huge bottle of Garfield novelty wine from Hogue dated 1997
Small white flowers on a vining pea plant clinging to a trellis
Tweet from @misak1nz "i sentence you to joy" And it's a picture of a happy corgi in a shallow stream
Facebook post from a group called "Bread Stapled to Trees" Half of a bagel has been stapled to a tree beneath a peculiar looking knot in the bark. "Unfucked bagel stapled under the eye of sauron"
Picture of a capybara at the beach. The caption says, "if you are reading this the curse is lifted have a good day"
Dumpster that has been graffitied with the directive, "cardboard only bitch"
Picture of a crawfish at night in the street. "To be a lone crawfish on a midnight sidewalk in the heart of New York City, caught between the concrete dreams and the relentless hum of humanity, is to grasp the hollow ache of existence with no refuge, no solace, just the cold, indifferent stars as witnesses to your desolate crawl."
🙈 What If We Kissed 😳 At The Neighborhood High Voltage Box Picture shows one of those green metal boxes you have in your neighborhood, alongside the boxes for cable and telephone or whatever the tall skinny one is
An egg that is almost perfectly round wth
Screenshot of a YouTube video of a white rabbit with really big ears. The two top comments are "bro can hear sounds" and "That rabbit is not human bro"
the weird lil guy in da corner
Tweet by @kingbtc "me: fuck yeah it finally came her: what did you ord-" The picture shows a signed and certified trading card of Subway Jared Fogle
thumbnail from an "AT Restoration" furniture restoration video depicting a cabinet that's all fucked up and there is a little caption that says "worms" with an arrow
Idiot Kitchen's recent drafts, including baffling horseshit such as "RHCMP Red Hot Canadian Mounted Police" "the sweet satisfaction of driving a bayonet" "taking a perilous shit on the precipice"
Picture of a big plastic bucket of powdered horse electrolytes
Post from a Facebook Group called "Gripping Food with Force" and it shows a picture of a restaurant meal featuring a delicious looking rare steak. In the second picture a man is squeezing the steak with all his force, to the point where it has contorted like a sponge.
multiple choice quiz with a picture of a saxophone. The four options are: -It is my sweet beautiful wife. My glistening wife. - That is a picture of me. - That is Saxophone, Sultan of Bugles. - That is my tremendous son who makes the music. My gigantic baby boy whom I am afraid of.
picture of a tiny yellow Minecraft chick. The caption says "i am strange and i look like cheese. is that ok."
Falador from the MMORPG RuneScape burning. Durial321, with long white hair and a green party hat, is in the foreground with shining red eyes. Durial and others exploited a glitch that allowed them to kill and loot players in safe zones, an utterly unprecedented turn of events that led to widespread fear and panic among players.
John Cena looking into the middle distance The caption says, "The genie when he grants me a 6th wish out of sheer curiosity and I wish for a 6th beer"
Parking garage signage indicating level P3 and then it just says "REMEMBER" underneath slightly ominously