Impudent Strumpet

@impudentstrumpet.bsky.social

525 Followers 140 Following

Translator, blogger, wanna-be inventor, random internet stranger She/elle/sie/ella/ona Location: Toronto http://impstrump.blogspot.com

Screenshot of the header of my AO3 inbox, showing that I have 1337 comments

First post from ‪Veronica‬ @veronicaf.bsky.social‬: "Ernie leaned into me, actively asked for and enjoyed pats, and then drooled because he enjoyed it so much.

I don't have photos because I have had a relatively awful day and thus had no Big Lights on, but Ernie! Love!

(Ernie is a cat, learning to not be feral, if you're new here.)"

Second post from ‪Good Trailcams‬ @goodtrailcams.bsky.social‬:

A trailcam image of two monkeys, likely feral. The one on the left is leaning in as though asking for pats, and the one on the right is patting them. Left appears to be enjoying it, and I can't rule out the possibility that they're drooling.

First post, from ‪Orcspiration‬ @orcspiration.bsky.social‬:

"YOU MUST DO YOUR STRETCHES TO HAVE STRENGTH TO WIN A RIGHTEOUS BATTLE."

Second post, from Hopping Crow‬ @hoppingcrow.bsky.social‬:

Photo of a dog with their front legs on the floor and back legs on the couch in a way that evokes the upward dog yoga stretch, with the caption "I am not stuck. I am just resting in this very comfortable position."

Original alt text for the dog photo: "Fuzzy black-and-white dog with front feet on floor and back legs stretched out on couch pretends she thought this move through"

Vermeer's famous painting Girl with a Pearl Earring, who is side-eyeing the viewer over her shoulder at practically the same angle as the deer-like creature in the original post

POV of a trail cam in a wooded area. Approximately five absolutely adorable little monkeys (possibly squirrel monkeys) peer curiously into the camera, in a way that suggests they're moments away from disassembling it to figure out how it works

A snow leopard, floofy with cold, faces away from the camera but looks back over their shoulder at an angle perpendicular to the camera, evoking how movie stars sometimes pose on the red carpet. The look on their face is wistful and majestic, with pale greenish eyes that nearly glow.

They're standing on a mountain covered in a thick blanket of snow, with a mindblowing view of the Indian Himalayas stretching stretches out to the horizon, where the sun is setting in trans rights colours.

Antlered deer looking majestic as fuck, standing in front of some tall sunflowers also looking majestic as fuck, while on the horizon is a sunset in trans rights colours also looking majestic as fuck

Poster for the Trump-backed "Freedom 250 Great American State Fair" concert with the 6 (out of 9) artists who pulled out crossed out.

The artists who pulled out are Martina McBride, Young MC, C+C Music Factory, Milli Vanilli, The Commodores, and Morris Day & The Time. The remaining artists are Vanilla Ice, Flo Rida and Bret Michaels.

Screenshot of a verbatim Google search for "smells like violets and social change", showing zero results

Black and white trailcam image of a bear climbing a ladder that leads to some small treehouse-like structure on stilts. My headcanon is that the purpose of the structure is to shelter people from bears.

trail cam photo of a bear standing on their hind legs, looking exactly like a human wearing a bear suit.

The bear is blackish/brownish coloured (I can't tell if the species is black bear or brown bear or something else), and the forest they're in contains both deciduous and coniferous trees, typical of temperate regions of North America

A crappy 10-second MS Paint drawing. One scribbled line in the approximate colour of the olive vaguely alludes to the oval shape of the olive. At the end is an orangish dot that vaguely alludes to the red thing at the end of the olive (It looked orange to me in the original photo although I'd call them red IRL)

First few posts in my bluesky timeline:

1. From ‪Nathan Goldwag‬ ‪@goldwagnathan.bsky.social: "Many people in my mentions proclaiming this the Reichstag fire, and it is very funny to imagine an increasingly-frustrated White House staging false flag after false flag, trying to get somebody to notice."

2. From ‪lauren‬ ‪@lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com "it is kind of funny we finally found a legal boundary donald trump respects and it's a ballroom fire code"

3. From ‪Kari Dru‬ @karidru.bsky.social‬ "Hey I was asleep due to The Malaise so forgive my ignorance but- what fresh hell?"

4. From ‪William Gibson‬ ‪@greatdismal.bsky.social: "Oh please. Really."

Two posts in a row in my Bluesky timeline

First post: Gold @golf4miami.bsky.social‬ asks "If you were a train. How many times would you chugga before you choo choo?"

John Scalzi @scalzi.com replies in quote: "The standard six. You can't beat the classics."

Second post: Cait Gordon ‪@caitgauthor.bsky.social‬ says "On a train bound for Toronto! My first time going to the Toronto Indie Author Conference!

Fun fact: Their acronym is TIAC, which is Cait backwards.

COINCIDENCE????"

Screenshot of my Bluesky notifications page. The column on the left shows a badge with 30+ notifications (a very high number for a tiny account like me!), but the middle column where notifications usually appear has an ominous red banner that says "Forbidden"

Trailcam image of an absolutely adorable floofy little kitten who I want to pick up and cuddle more than anything, but will probably grow up to be some kind of wildcat who would murder me with a swipe of a paw if I tried that (or may even as a kitten be capable of doing so already)

A beautiful trail cam image of a wetland during the golden hour. In the foreground, posed perfectly for the camera, a soft-looking deer-like creature with small, velvety-looking antlers (as though they're fairly new to growing antlers) lifts up their hind leg and sniffs or licks it in a way that evokes the body language of cat.

If the deer were deliberately posing for the camera, it couldn't possibly have come out better than it does here.

Princess Bride gif: "You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well. I accept"

Dolly Parton's
IMAGINATION LIBRARY
Dear Imagination Library Graduate,
My, how time flies. It seems it was only yesterday when your family and friends read you your first story. You were just a baby. Now you're five years old and about to go to school. How exciting!
This may be your last book from my Imagination Library but you have to promise me you will keep on reading. If you go to your local public library you will find a great number of books just for kids your age. Every book is a treasure and every time you open one up you will meet new friends and take wonderful journeys to magical places.
I hope you have a great time in school. I bet your school will even have a library where you can check out books. You and all of your friends are very special. There is no limit to what you can do or how far you can go. Just remember the lessons my family taught me dream big dreams; learn everything you can learn; and care for all those who care for you. You do all of these things and you can be anyone you want to be.
You are terrific, and remember...
I Will Always Love You,
Dolly

All stores are closed April 5. Select stores are open April 6. Click here to see store hours near you.

Archive of Our Own header, but where it usually says "beta" to denote that AO3 is a beta version of the project, it now says "omega"

Trailcam image of an autumn scene in a deciduous forest, with the vast majority of the leaves on the trees and on the ground a bright, golden yellow.

In striking contrast to all this yellow are two black bears, one standing on hind legs looking down, and the other on all fours looking up. Their mouths are open and their body language as captured at this moment in time suggests they are having a verbal argument, of the sort that might end in one walking away exasperatedly or might end in snogging.

Two guinea pigs with black and brown colouring that resembles the distinctive colouring of a Rottweiler. They're just barely bigger than the hands of the human who's holding them, and look mildly baffled at the fact they're having their picture taken

In the immediate foreground, slightly out of focus, an almost entirely black dog (with a little bit of a white stripe on the forehead and snout) and extremely pale blue eyes looks dead-ass at the camera.

Further back, but in focus, Blair hugs a black and brown dog who has their front paws up on her hips. To the right of them, in the adjacent kennel, is a black dog with white snout and chest, in a way that alludes to a man with a white beard wearing a tuxedo.

NYT caption is "Braverman visiting some of her older dogs who now live at Chilly Dogs, a retirement kennel in Ely, Minn."

Sylvia Tilly from Star Trek: Discovery and Starfleet Academy

An absolutely adorable little fox (I think) looks straight into the trail cam with an absolutely adorable little puppy face, the whole snout tilted down eyes tilted up platonic ideal of a puppy expression

An oryx-like creature (think elk but make it African, with large, twisty, vertical horns) struts majestically towards the trail camera like a fashion model walking the runway. My mental soundtrack is "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred

Current Bluesky trending topics:

1. AO3 Down
2. Marco Rubio
3. Trump and Pentagon
4. Kuwait Crashes
5. Michael B. Jordan

Trail cam image of itty bitty baby fawn, being all adorable with spots like Bambi and standy-uppy ears that are twice as long as I would have expected. We can also see bottom half of the mother deer walking by in the background - baby fawn is about up to the top of the mother's legs

Screen shot of the Weather Network's radar map, showing a massive pink area - indicating ice - coming into Toronto from the west. It reaches from King City in the north to Burlington in the south, and from nearly Acton in the west to nearly Downsview in the east

A creature that could be something like a goat or a llama (furry, hoofs, standy-uppy ears), leaps surprisingly high in to the air facing away from the camera. They're at least a foot above the surrounding tall grass. At the moment captured in this image, their four hooves are all even, suggesting that they jumped straight upwards to this improbably high height, or perhaps are levitating.

A small, adorable monkey, standing on two feet like a human, faces the camera directly as though he's about to deliver a news report. Might be a squirrel monkey - I'm not sure of the species, but same vibe.

Two deer or elk or something similar, both with antlers. One stands perpendicular to the camera. The other rests his forearms on the first's back, in a way that evokes how a human would rest their elbows on a desk or counter while talking to someone on the other side of the desk/counter

Trail cam photo showing close-up of an enormous white furry rump, presumably belonging to a polar bear, with the absolutely adorable little face of an itty bitty baby polar bear standing behind them. The baby polar bear isn't even up to the top of the adult polar bear's legs.

My location on the Bluesky map. Surrounding clusters include "Vegan Activism Community", "Aviation Enthusiasts and Professionals", "British Railway Enthusiasts", "Deaf Community & Sign Language Professionals", "Progressive Creative Community", "Creative Professionals and Hobbyists", "Queer & Progressive Community Activists", "Progressive American Creatives & Activists", Millennial Women Professionals & Parents", "Progressive Creative Community" and "Louisville Cardinals Sports Fans"

A deer (or similar creature) looks a trail cam dead-ass in the eye and sticks out their tongue

I own a small bakery. Business has been slow.
Rent is up. I was thinking about closing.
Last Friday, a teenager came in. He looked nervous. He counted out change for a cookie.
He was short 50 cents. "It's okay," I said. "Take it." He ate it at a table, looking at his math homework.
He looked stuck. I used to be a math tutor.
I walked over. "Quadratic equations?" He nodded.
"I don't get it." I sat down and helped him for 20 minutes. He got it. He left smiling. The next day, he came back with two friends. They bought cookies. The day after that, five kids came.
Apparently, he told the school, "The lady at the bakery helps with homework." Now, my bakery is the after-school hang-out spot. It's loud. It's messy.
There are backpacks everywhere. Yesterday, I found a note in the tip jar. It was wrapped around a $20 bill. "Thanks for helping my son pass math.
A Mom." I'm not closing the bakery. I think I finally found my purpose. It's not cookies. It's community.

(Post is by @Mr_Husky1. It's not visually apparent what platform it's from)

A railing held up by curvy red posts, for which I don't know the architectural name. An absolutely adorable black and white dog sticks their absolutely adorable snout through the hole between the posts. The curviness of the posts creates a space that's the perfect size and shape for the snout, adding to the adorableness of the whole situation. 13/10, would boop that snoot!

Four sentences arranged in a circle.

First, at the beginning of the circle: "The U.S. military kidnaps Maduro."

Then an arrow points to the second sentence: "Madturo is in the U.S. illegally."

Then an arrow points to the third sentence: "ICE kidnaps Maduro and deports him to Venezuela"

Then an arrow points to the fourth sentence: "Maduro is in Venezuela"

Then the arrow points back to the first sentence: "The U.S. military kidnaps Maduro."

And so it continues, ouroboros-style.

Screenshot of the first page of Bluesky posts that resulted when I clicked on the "Mildred Pierce" trending topic.

The first one says "Pat ourselves on the back #TCMParty" with a screenshot that shows "Mildred Pierce" trending, but isn't alt-texted so the search function would have no way to know it contains those words.

The second post says "Citizen Kane is great because it reinvented film language—deep focus, bold angles, nonlinear storytelling—while asking a timeless question: can you ever truly know a person? It’s not a biography, but a meditation on power, memory, and loss.
#TCMParty #CitizenKane"

The third post says "OK, the big issue concerning #CitizenKane is not who wrote it (sorry Ben), but how these reporters know that Kane's last word was "rosebud" when nobody else was in the room...
#TCMParty #FlashbackFridays"

Multiple pictures of Queen Elizabeth II holding her own clear Fulton umbrella, each with trim that perfectly matches her outfit

The burn is spreading through an expansion joint in the walls that is nearly impossible to access and invisible to the naked eye, he said.

The space in which the fire is burning is only about 25 to 50 millimetres wide, Jessop said Wednesday. Regular fire hoses are too large to access it, he said, so firefighters have had to start using garden hoses instead.

Screenshot of Bluesky trending topics:

Blue Jays, Nancy Mace, Dodgers, Blue Jays, Lincoln Bathroom, Venezuela

Crappy MS Paint drawing of an arrow over Lauren Woolsey's "Axes of AI" diagram.

The arrow starts at the bottom centre, with 100% ignorance of AI and 50/50 refusal and use and embracement of use (because you can neither refuse or embrace something you're unaware of.) It then moves sharply to the right, at 100% embracement of use when the tiniest possible bit of awareness is gained. It then moves steadily to the upper left quadrant, showing that as awareness increases, embracement turns to refusal

Screenshot of the headers of an email with the subject line "Password Reset Request"

At first glance, the sender's email appears to be "noreply@microsoft.com", but if you look more closely, it is actually "noreply@rnicrosoft.com" The lowercase r and lowercase n at the beginning of "rnicrosoft" look very much like a lowercase m

Screenshot of a random reply from an account with the name "Bluesky" (@bluesky-helper.bsky.social) The reply says:

Your Bluesky account is temporarily suspended. To avoid permanent termination, complete verification within 24 hours.
is.gd/Bluesky
If the link doesn't work, copy and paste it into your browser.
Bluesky Security Department
Only you can see the notification.

Hair (1979)

Screenshot from Air Quality Ontario, showing a high-risk level of 7 in downtown Toronto, while the other locations in Toronto have low-risk levels of 2 or 3

Robert Redford and Paul Newman, shown here in costume from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

Post from NickFrank40 @NickyFrank30

My grandfather used to say "and Magda Goebbels made a great strudel” and I never knew what it meant until after he died my grandmother explained some magazine did a fluff interview with Magda Goebbels a few years before WW2 that included her strudel recipe and my grandfather, who hated the Nazis with the passion of 10,000 suns, thought it was an example of the media sanitizing evil people and he would use the phrase when someone asked him to overlook a bad person doing bad things and focus on the good.

Screen shot of google search results for the etymology of "butler", provided by Oxford Languages. It's from the Old French " bouteille", meaning "bottle,", via the Old French "bouteillier", meaning "cupbearer"

Homer Simpson: "I can sing all the lyrics to It's the End of the World by R.E.M."

Random man sitting behind desk: "No you can't, Mr. Simpson. No one can!"

In the original post that's circulated (quoted in this post), Michael Stipe, the lead singer of R.E.M., posts this image with the comment "I can"

"Young men need to be socialized in such a way that rape is as unthinkable to them as cannibalism."
- Mary Pipher, Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls

A slightly-hunched elderly woman, wearing a "Sunday best" sort of coat and hat and carrying an enormous sword, walks across a lawn towards an equally-hunched elderly man wearing a navy suit and using a rollator.

Astute viewers will recognize it as Queen Elizabeth II knighting Captain Tom Moore at a socially-distanced outdoor ceremony in July 2020, but it's more entertaining if you don't have that context.

An extremely small dog (dachshund-ish?) jumps and barks at a full-grown cow. The cow's body language could be interpreted either as a play bow or as recoiling from the dog.

Absolutely adorable little puppy enthusiastically chewing on a combat-style boot being worn by a human. Puppy appears to be either too young to understand or too engrossed to care that there's a human in the boot who might need that foot for later.

A Halloween decoration skeleton dog posed over a small pile of miniature pumpkins in a way that makes it look like the skeleton dog is pooing out the pumpkins