Jack Tourette

@jacktourette.bsky.social

65 Followers 115 Following

Profane loudmouth jerk who can't shut-up [pauciloquent pseudonymuncle]

Maybe this is the vodka talking, but: Hi! I'm made from potatoes! [https://xkcd.com/1528/]
God was bored, so God split. That is, God divided into multiple beings. Now God had lots of company, but they were all bored. Omnipotence and omniscience were boring, so god imposed limits. god now thought, this sucks! Why do we suffer fear, pain, and death? Why are we here? god decided to improve things. This took a long time, because their power was now finite. Slowly, god discovered ways to relieve suffering and postpone death. god eventually learned to control the universe. god had finally eliminated suffering, conquered death, and created an existence unlimited by time or space - god had become God! However, God grew bored...
Lame pun reads in all-caps Rockwell Extra Bold font "Sofa King Evil"
Tweaked Gary Larson Far Side Cartoon from 1983: Traveling salesman at gate in front of house. Sign on gate reads "Beware of DOGE". Is that Elon Musk hiding behind the tree?
Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, "So. What did you think?" - Steven Wright (b.1955) [unverified]
Cats quickly learn the rule "Stay off the counter when human is in room".