j4

@jaffa.bsky.social

376 Followers 158 Following

Mostly badger, occasionally mermaid. Terminally online.

A black cat sits on a wall, Judging.
A young girl, buried up to her waist in sand.
A slim young man, wearing beige flares and a brown-and-beige patterned knitted tank top, holds a small round grumpy-looking baby wearing a matching tank top over a white babygro.
[extract from Oxford Mail article] "Recent heatwaves and a very dry spring and summer have led to sustained high demand. "While there is enough water for essential use, we need to reduce non-essential outdoor demand to keep taps flowing. READ MORE: Flying taxis could be built in UK as part of £48m government deal
Photo of the Albert Hall, to prove we were there :-)
The same poxy blister
Photo of the back of my ankle showing a clear yellow fluid-filled blister about the size of a large pea. Not visible in photo: fiery itching.
Putting my feet up in the front of Duncan's box bike, rainbow socks and light-up skechers in the sunshine, this is the life
A leafy tree with two slightly egg-shaped hard green fruits.
Slop illustration of child with sunhat, captioned "Your child must have a SUN HAT or CAP to protect their head face", perhaps <in_joke total_audience="1">from if someone try to eat they head face</in_joke>.
A poster for our primary school's Summer Playscheme, generated by AI, containing weird pictures and nonsensical text. I can't even be arsed to transcribe it, just by looking at it I've already put more effort into it than whoever slopped it out.
Me sitting in front of an absolutely massive fan, hoping to look like Kaylee with her parasol (but actually just looking like a sweaty sysadmin)
A presentation slide. "This year: genAI." Some butthole logos. Automatic subtitling reads "education space in genuinely. And it's not often I have to say that Oxford is seen".
Packaging for "restore Silentnight cooling gel body pad". Available from Boots and other places.
Little black goblin gives me a Look
A big display repeating the lie that "KIDS EAT FREE". In front of it is a small basket of snacks, and a plate with one apple on it.
My shabby but well-loved Gazelle Cabby resting on the patio, you can't really see the shiny new steering post but I promise you it's there.
Presentation slide with the text "If nothing changes, nothing matters."
A very mardy-looking black cat lies on a shiny black garden table in a scruffy garden, next to a brick and a manky potted plant. In a very real sense, what are the trappings of monarchy but some bewildering detritus balanced on a rickety table? What is a royal personage but a pet who is fed by its owners & yet believes itself ruler of the world?
Screenshot of tomorrow's weather forecast from Metcheck, showing a predicted TWELVE POINT FOUR MILLIMETRES OF RAIN at 02:00.
Text from https://scienceinsights.org/when-do-spiders-lay-eggs-and-how-long-to-hatch/ on spider incubation patterns. Basically the eggs will either hatch quickly or next spring. Helpful.
Close-up of a wire bike basket on to which has been woven a thick nest of webs with an egg sac inside, which is being watched over by a medium-sized spider.
A screenshot of an email from Sparx Science saying "[name] hasn't started this homework due in 7 days. Please encourage [name] to plan time to start it."
Two very large children in THE BEST BIKE
Big crowd of people marching in the streets of Oxford, seen from behind. Trans rights placards & flags, a cardboard sign saying "talk to me for DIY HRT", the big Green Party banner, a non-binary flag, etc.
Photo of my fingers holding the keycap for my laptop's backspace, which has become detached from the keyboard.
Modal saying "This email is used with a different Fitbit account. Your chosen Google Account uses an email address that's already registered with a different Fitbit account. Choose a different Google Account to continue or sign out of Fitbit and sign in using an email address that matches your chosen Google Account. [Go back]"
Screenshot saying "Your Fitbit access is suspended. *This is your last opportunity to save your Fitbit data*. Starting on 2 March 2026, Fitbit accounts and all associated data will be unavailable and permanently deleted. To keep your data and regain access to the app, you must move to a Google Account immediately. Until then, you can download a copy of your Fitbit data or delete your account permanently. [Sign out] [Move now]"
Molly from Meadow Lane, a beautiful & very old dark brown longhaired cat, lying on the floor like a puddle of floof.
Three people in Morris kit, definitely not looking like people who got up at 4am.
Samples from a pattern book showing the Belisha beacons pattern described in the post, alongside a more ordinary floral pattern.
Me in morris kit, doing an awkward selfie smile
Screenshot from www.myheritage.com with a colour photo of me (in my late 20s) and a black-and-white photo of Douglas Fairbanks. We are both grinning, Douglas slightly more rakishly. The shadow on my face sort of makes it look a bit like I have his thin moustache. Maybe that is a look I could go for, idk.
A small saucer which has "Phyllocontin Theocontin" written on it in ornate gold script. As far as I can tell these are ... asthma medicines??
A black and white striped tie with all sorts of nonsense sewn on to it. Tiny bat wings, a chain, a ringpull, a silver spider with a skull for a body, two satin bows.
Tim Curry as the Grand Wizard from the 1986 film of The Worst Witch.
Photo of earrings. A red arrow is crudely drawn on, pointing to the metal loop that joins the earring to the hook bit.
Me & the beasts in matching Morris kit, looking pretty happy and not completely knackered despite a long day of dancing :-)
My beasts in Cotswold Morris kit, on a rooftop terrace with the Oxford skyline in the background
A "[heart] Create Soulcode" button, with explanatory label "Create Soulcode". No information is provided about what a "soulcode" might be.
A question from the "edit your profile" page: a drop-down "select your beliefs" offers the options "Libertarian, Analyst, Humanist, Radical, Low-Profile, Satirical, Minimalist, Nihilist, Debater, Expat Voice, Centrist". I don't really believe in that sort of one-dimensional essentialism, I can be many of those things!
A small black cat eating from her usual bowl as if she's never been away
A small black cat extends her surprisingly long neck to drink from a murky-looking shallow puddle on a concrete path.
-arguments +connection_reject today's goal: be more exim
I don't actually expect anybody to recognise this from the picture, like if you did I will buy you a pint, but anyway I saw a film that absolutely traumatised me as a child, spent decades trying to identify it so I could re-watch it and exorcise it, it turned out to have been an English dub of Сказка Странствий, it's still very fucking weird but also dreamlike and sad, you should totally watch it.
Screenshot of 100jumps.org saying "You completed 100 jumps! 34 attempts." Below this is a button labelled "Play Again for Trophies". No sir I will not
A hand is painstakingly tracing an entire Rock Family Tree, like a medieval monk copying the entire Bible.
A very floofy cream-and-brown cat with incredibly long whiskers, wearing a bow tie collar, sniffs at the corner of a shabby cargo bike.
A wire milk-bottle holder containing 4 empty milk bottles, and then another 12 milk bottles arrayed around it.
A black cat hunkers down in a hastily-hacked tangle of half-dead passionflower vine on top of a fence, glaring resentfully out from between the twigs. (Actually she just has resting glare-face, she's probably quite happy in her weird little nest.)
The Strait of Hormuz, with badgers
A goth woman in red-and-black corsety thing is sitting in the box of a cargo bike, laughing; a fit goth bloke in tight black jeans, black shirt & black hat is holding the bike & grinning. It's all a bit blurry. It's possible the people involved have partaken of the alcohols. Everybody got home safely.
A 25cm² box containing a loaf of pure vantablack.
Calvin and Hobbes strip. Calvin is attempting to play with a yo-yo, going from smiling to flailing and frowning. Final frame: "I can't imagine mastering the skills involved here without a clearer understanding of who's going to be impressed."
A lamppost-locked bike, covered with a tarpaulin which billows out across the pavement. It is obstructing the pavement, which wasn't wide to start with & has already lost a third of its width to bollards because car drivers can't be trusted not to drive all over the pavements... oops, my bias is showing.