Jared Rizzi

@jaredrizzi.bsky.social

1559 Followers 762 Following

father of #PistachioJoe

Schitt's Creek (2015): two men stand facing away from us, looking up at an old town sign. The younger man on the left is wearing a leather jacket. The older man on the right is wearing a gray suit. The sign is a hand-painted image of a man lifting his hat, standing suggestively behind a woman who is with one hand dipping a bucket into the water, and with the other holding her skirt to avoid it getting wet. The sign text reads, "Schitt's Creek: where everyone fits in." A hasty addition has been made to the sign, a tacked-on board in red letters over a white background, with a big arrow pointing to the two adults in the painting, with text: "DON'T WORRY, IT'S HIS SISTER!"
David Cross as Tobias Funke as Mrs Featherbottom (Arrested Development) GIF Text: "who'd like a banger in the mouth?"
Orange County NY Government Center, an exemplar of Paul Rudolph's Brutalist style, before its partial demolition and renovation between 2015-2017
Ginger Minj and Jujubee in Stop! That! Train! (2026) Two train attendants in the middle of a safety demonstration
cards laid out on a wood grain table. Some have numbers on the back (eg 30, 10); some have a drawing of a person in a suit and tie with a red X on his mouth, some have a green map logo, some have a dark silhouette of a person in a hoodie, some have flames, some have a white silhouette on a red background.
Star Trek original series episode title screen with caption "Doctor Who" A spaceship passes by a planet.
Mario armed with a plunger fights a Blooper armed with a trident (Super Mario Bros Super Show, 1989)
closeup of Kash Patel's eyes
Ness emerges from his house in the beginning of Earthbound (Mother 2, 1994) 8-bit isometric art of a boy with a red baseball cap standing in front of a small house with a purple roof. The house is surrounded by a fence. There are trees all around.
A European hornet in a dustpan with some scrap paper underneath
Tasha Lem (Orla Brady) and The Doctor (Matt Smith) in The Time of the Doctor (2013)
An old man wearing a scarf and leather jacket stands in the foreground while a young woman in a vest looks at him from the background. They are in a decrepit barn. The War Doctor (John Hurt) and The Moment (Billie Piper) in The Day of the Doctor (2013)
A line drawing of a biplane with red dots, a symbol for survivorship bias
An old man sits at a table with a bottle of water. He is listening to car ideas, evaluating them for potential goodness.
Brian talks to the People's Front of Judea. Brian Cohen of Nazareth (Graham Chapman): "Can I join your group? PFoJ leader (John Cleese): "No, piss off." Monty Python's Life of Brian (1979)
Still image from Arrested Development "Key Decisions" - Lindsay Bluth Fünke (Portia de Rossi): "Stabbed?" George Bluth Senior (Jeffrey Tambor): "... In a way." A man in an orange prison jumpsuit holds his finger to his temple. The back of a woman's head is in the right foreground.
OnStar assistance commercial still frame. A white line drawing of a person wearing a headset looking at a monitor in front of a keyboard on a black background. A red ball cap has been clumsily added to the figure.
Classic Onion headline "Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades" with "Blades" erased and replaced clumsily with "Battlefronts"
Still image from the "I drink your milkshake" scene: Daniel Plainview (Daniel Day-Lewis, right) to Eli Sunday (Paul Dano, left); There Will Be Blood (2007)
Old Glory Robot Insurance (SNL) Robot
Aaron Rupar screenshot from X: imagine if Donald Trump on CNN. Caption quoting Trump: "The Straights are in great shape."
A goomba and Mario in Kuribo's Shoes (Super Mario Bros 3, 1988)
man with dark hair leather jacket and sunglasses singing/grimacing in front of a pool party, from the "Steve Polychronopolous" music video by Adam Sandler (1996)
Doctor Who: The Fires of Pompeii (2008) - a man in a brown suit and long brown jacket says "And it's volcano day"!
Married with Children sign for Al Bundy's "NO MA'AM: National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood" - that text underneath the female symbol contained by a big red circle with a line through it.
A fire pit in a small city yard. String lights glow between the trees. Leaves carpet the ground.
Twin Peaks opening title card with words "DOCTOR WHO" as the title Mountains disappear into fog in the background, as a two-lane road curves to the left. On the bottom right, a sign says, "WELCOME TO TWIN PEAKS, Population 51,201 WELCOMETOTWINPEAKS.COM" green lettering dominates the center image: "DOCTOR WHO"
Mona Lisa Vito (Marisa Tomei) in My Cousin Vinny (1992) A woman holding a photograph while seated in a courtroom witness stand. Caption: "NO."
Daniel Kaluuya (Chris) and Bradley Whitford (Dean) in Get Out (2017)
news summary: Deadline on Bart Simpson voice Photo of Nancy Cartwright in diptych with drawing of Bart Simpson, superimposed with "deadline.com" as a link and with caption text: "Bart's voice: no AI Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson for over 35 years as the show hits its 800th episode, doesn't want AI to replace her when she retires. She believes AI lacks the heart and passion that a human successor would bring to the iconic role. Generated with AI, which can make mistakes" I have highlighted in yellow her belief that AI lacks heart and passion, and underlined in red the AI warning stamped at the bottom.
Rabbid (weird bunny character) holding a plunger
survivorship bias plane diagram. A black line drawing of a two propeller fighter craft with red dots on the wing tips, tail, and canopy.
A piece of purple construction paper with sixteen outlines of the Pokémon Ditto, along with a stencil we made from cardboard. Markers and glue sticks in the background on a wood table.
Super Mario Sunshine (2002) death screen: Mario stuck in some rainbow goo; on screen text in blocky Mario font: "TOO BAD!"
Jeb Bush "please clap" moment with a superimposed speech bubble on the bottom
Valentina: "I'd like to keep it on, please" moment from RuPaul's Drag Race A drag queen lip syncing for her life asks to keep her face covering on during the competition
"Don't you think she looks tired?" Doctor Who, The Christmas Invasion (2005)
A screenshot of verified Headquarters Newsroom on Instagram. The post has the new HQ logo bottom center over a background diptych of Bad Bunny holding Grammys opposite a shirtless Kid Rock. Superimposed over that is an insert image screenshot of a tweet from verified @headquarters_67 on X saying "checks out" as a quote tweet of verified @Acyn on X sharing an video clip of a White House briefing, a clip where press secretary Karoline Leavitt says (and Acyn has captioned) that President Trump would prefer Kid Rock over Bad Bunny in the Superbowl halftime show. Who the ever loving fuck is this for, and why does it exist? No one but the consultants will say.
Melania Trump, still image from Melania (film, 2026)
Darkwing Duck, in shadows with lines from the muntins of windows behind, swoops cape and serves brows GIF
Airplane (1980) GIF: "I want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you."
DW from Arthur: "That sign can't stop me because I can't read!" meme
I Think You Should Leave - I think you're just here for the Zipline
The second where his heart rips in half (Simpsons GIF)
The board game Risk focused on the western hemisphere
GIF: Doctor Who, 11th Doctor, his face covered in soot. Text: "Halfway out of the dark."
JD Vance for Vanity Fair. Photo by Christopher Anderson A man buttons a suit standing in front of a thermostat dial and a light switch
Sultan of Agrabah hypnotized by Royal Vizier Jafar (Aladdin, 1992)
Child sits with Santa at a shopping mall credit: Zoey Kimball, 6, of Eatonville, talks with Santa at the South Hill Mall in Puyallup, Washington, on Wednesday, Nov. 24, 2021. Tony Overman Read more at: https://www.thenewstribune.com/news/local/article255848981.html#storylink=cpy
Weeping Angel (Doctor Who) covering its eyes A living statue quantum locked because you are observing it
Screenshot of this exchange of replies with one word missing
Treasure bug sorbet (Delicious in Dungeon, 2024)
Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.
Magic: The Gathering card back
Don Draper pitch meme Text on the white board: "MENTHOL BEEF TALLOW"
Trade offer meme: Text: TRADE OFFER i receive: healthcare forever no questions asked you receive: $2000 one time
RFK2 in BG3
Tobias Fünke meme Text: "And these big, strong men come to me, tears rolling down their eyes, and they say thank you..."
Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.