Chris Jasko

@jasko.bsky.social

183 Followers 824 Following

I write. I doodle. I colorblind. Opinions are mine, so keep your hands off. Fight me on the Crew BigSoccer forum, coward. My brain is broken — https://clanoftheduck.neocities.org

cali, a two-year-old yellow lab, sleeps comfortably on her back most of her body rests on her fluffy bed inside her cage, legs splayed in the air. her head dangles out the cage gate, leaving her forhead to settle on the tile floor. the floor smooshes her face and ears. cali's lips, pulled down by gravity, reveal her teeth. you will never have as restful a nap as this dog
it beach big beach pretty beach sky blue cloud fluffy beer enjoyed off-camera
a text from my stepdad that reads, "I also need my retainer in white case. On bathroom counter." it is 11:40 at night. i will fetch it for him
a man holds a glass ball in his tragically sized hand the ball is not particularly small, but is a size that says, "you could put me almost anywhere... even there." i will not be tricked by the orb some pretty flowers and a lush lawn are in the background
columbus crew and usmnt legend brian mcbride's hands, stretched and distorted, gripping a chain-link fence post this is cursed
12 cheeseburgers (2 havarti, 4 gouda, and 6 colby jack) and 8 hot dogs rest on a well-used (abused) char-broil propane grill everything is overcooked but delicious the left grill shelf holds a metal spatula, tongs, and a very strong boubon and soda a plate of 8 toasted buns waits on the right grill shelf a red bud in brilliant bloom, bamboo, and a mess of other trees and shrubs show off in the background of the unkempt yard it's a beautiful day, the food is good, and we'll gladly take this brief moment of calm also, who left their damn socks on the patio? i told you to clean those up
a fortnite-themed light switch plate, featuring blue, red, and black silhouettes of characters emoting, installed on my bedroom wall my wife hates it
a screenshot of the parlor from blue prince three boxes—blue, white, and black— sit on pedestals in a room with flower wallpaper the black box is open, the other two are closed i guessed right
the homepage header image for Legends of Terris, a multi-user dungeon from 1994 that is still(!) online, depicting some stock fantasy characters standing valiantly against some unseen threat. you'll never "see" these characters, either, since the game is text based the overlaid text reads: "In a land where anyone can forge their own legend, where anyone can fight for glory and honour, do you have what it takes to join the ranks of the blessed? Will you fight for the light to push back the forces of darkness? Or will you join the Legions of War as they battle for supremacy? Will you fight for your Gods, or build your own kingdom? Play Free Now!" this game ruled.
Ducks by Kate Beaton The first book I read in 2026. It is very good. Go read it.
Water spills over the low dam on Lilly Creek in Eastwoood MetroPark. Not pictured: The seven or eight deer that crossed just upstream. They didn't seem to mind the cold water.
it's a poorly photoshopped faux movie poster riffing on "Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers" in honor of the columbus-cincinnati mls soccer rivalry series known colloquially as hell is real you see, it's funny because the title has been changed to HELLoween, as a play on hell is real, and the subhead has been altered to "the curse of daniel gazdag", and that's humourous because gazdag, who was a prolific scorer for the philadelphia union, has struggled to make an impact in the crew's attack... and so the implication is that he's cursed or something also, instead of the iconic michael myers mask, daniel gazdag's visage, flanked by a scary knife, is on the poster some other fun little touches are the new tagline, "true terror never scores", which is another poke at gazdag, and, instead of saying "coming soon" at the bottom of the poster, which is what you'd likely expect for a movie poster, the text reads "GOALING SOON?", which again, is another little goof about gazdag anywho, fc cincy sucks go crew
An ancient photograph shows four fresh-faced teens seated at a table as they pose for the camera. They don't believe time will come for them, but it will. HARD. One child pretends to be asleep as he flips off the camera. He is not as cool as he thinks he is.
steam no work me want silksong give me now
presumptive canadian PM and conservative leader pierre poilievre smiles as he loses his seat in carleton during the 2025 election the cbc shows poilievre trailing his liberal opponent, bruce fanjoy, by 3,793 votes oooooh nooooo
album cover art for john tesh's 1994 compilation album "sax by the fire" the artwork features a saxophone leaning (seductively) against a blazing fireplace the saxophone is bathed in a lusty red (i think? i'm colorblind) light, and the flames wrap tightly around the logs in the fireplace much like two lovers entwined the album slaps
former USMNT manager Gregg "Gigi" Berhalter smiling posted for no reason in particular
a fresh loaf of sourdough bread awaits consumption on a cooling rack a banneton, bamboo cutting board, towel, and pumpkin (for some reason) clutter the flour-dusted table in the background some idiot didn't do a good job of brushing excess flour off the dough before baking it he will improve
guillermo—a bright yellow, 3D-printed duck figuirine—rests on a faux-wood desktop guillermo urges you to drink plenty of water
a cup of freshly brewed, piping-hot coffee in a white mug with blue decorations depicting an old fashioned spice grinder, butter churn, lantern, and flowers(?) rests on a restored wood bar at salt block biscuit co the vibes are cute the coffee is tasty order a cinnamon roll or a biscuit and gravy
a mustard-colored t-shirt—designed & printed in columbus, ohio by the fine folks at supporter supply co.—warns you—NAY!—commands you to not listen to aces radio, a garbage buffalo bills podcast produced by a bunch of ignorant sluts
a tallboy of rhinegeist truth bomb, a 9.5% imperial ipa, is held above a grungy faux wood floor a yellow lab puppy, softly focused in the background, watches and awaits the impending mistakes the drinker will make
cali, a barf-eating yellow lab pup, sleeps peacefully on the rug the tip of her tongue sticks out of her mouth as she probably dreams of eating more puke she will probably lick my face a bunch in the morning and i won't mind too much
cincinnati bengals head coach zac taylor as the hot dog suit guy from the popular I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson sketch, "Hot Dog Car" he is saying "we're all trying to find the guy who did this" after the team went 9-8 and missed the playoffs for the second straight season coincidentally, i think zac taylor should leave
fran, bernard, and manny stand outside black books, ready to rescue me i am doomed
a waterfall not far from Xenia, Ohio roars in the late morning sun icicles and clumps of snow cling to the rock and plants that flank the powerful gush of water as steam and mist rises from the river below it's a good waterfall
a big black cow (or steer, I dunno) stands in a snow-dusted field, just off the road, in some rural Ohio town he is perfect
a man (me) lays belly-down on a hardwood floor near a fireplace—torn wrapping paper, empty boxes, and other evidence of gift-giving surround the man he is wearing stylish socks, charcoal pants, a navy quarter-zip sweater, and a plastic bag on his head he is tired. DEAD TIRED.
Cali, a yellow English lab puppy, sleeps on the cold hardwood floor instead of her comfy bed (reasons unknown) after causing mayhem in the house all morning she's innocent of all charges and perfect
That scene from Community (Remedial Chaos Theory, October 13, 2011) when Troy, holding three pizza boxes, enters a room with a big smile that quickly transforms into a look of horror. the camera cuts to a wide shot of the room, revealing the floor on fire, debris covering the room, and general chaos. that's kinda like the Haslems relocating the Columbus Crew's game against Messi (Inter Miami) to Cleveland to make more money on tickets
Spotify Wrapped list showing Mozart as my top artist with 8,580 minutes listened, placing me in the top 0.05% of listeners worldwide Mozart looks kinda disgusted at my accomplishment
Cali, a very good yellow lab puppy, helps me focus on work by vigorously chewing on a sqeauky hog toy right next to my desk this will be going on her performance review
a very sexy pablo mastroeni stares at you, his eyes full of longing, while posing on an aluminum bench, a bit of his flank is exposed above his white pants
A puppy sits in a ray of sunshine atop an overgrown stone staircase.
DOG