JVG 骨

@jasonv.bsky.social

1014 Followers 389 Following

Jason Van Glass is a standup comedian and dog hugger in Hollywood, California principally known for his string of "Road" movies with lifelong friend Bing Crosby The Bob Hope American Patriot Award is named in his honor

A utopian future image used in memes https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/the-world-if
A zoomed in shot from the Simpsons of Homer's forehead as his internal monologue realizes (altered from the original script by me to say) TAXES CAN BE USED FOR SERVICES
Dee on Always Sunny does a pretty wildly racist (both in the context of the show, and also in real life by today's standards) character in an episode where she runs for office, with Frank as her campaign manager
Me in front of the bean in Chicago. The giant metallic orb sculpture floats behind me in the style of a 90s music video
Scott Seiss says "Then Die" in this blurry but viral screenshot of an early TikTok
Creepy poster for a Citywalk store that sells candy by the pound called IT'SUGAR showing a stock photo of a woman using a fork and she's photoshopped to be holding a giant bowl or random candies
Facebook ad for men's diamond necklace from 30 seconds ago
Facebook ad for a gold chain endorsed by the Michael Jordan I trust most. I did love Sinners... but still
Milhouse's pathetic father points to a race car bed and I've edited him to say "I asked ChatGPT" because it's basically the same thing. Why are you proud?? Buddy, I use my big brain with my wife.
Anderson Cooper on CNN edited to have a chyron that says BREAKING NEWS: CEO HATES HIS OWN CUSTOMERS
Adrian Chiles writes "I boiled my wooden spoons - and what emerged from them will haunt me forever" next to his glorious profile pic
Bret Stephens the bedbug moron writes "Brian Thompson, Not Luigi Mangione, Is The Real Working Class Hero" next to his dumb face and get paid a million dollars to do it
Cans of olipop brand SpongeBob pineapple paradise sodas marked down from $3 to 75¢. I drink a lot of discontinued sodas and these were truly vile. It would be so funny to give one to a child
Airport style security theater at universal city walk, it's completely unused (midnight) but a half dozen untrained "security guards" are staffing the metal detectors
The actual giant wooden Trojan horse from Chris Nolan's the Odyssey on display in front of the Citywalk AMC. One time I saw Mario Lopez show up here, robotically read a prepared announcement off a note card, and leave. They got that guy under some kinda 300 NBC Universal in person appearances a year contract. He's probably at the Grove right now at the grand opening of a Lids store. I love living in LA
A photo of the actual horse from the odyssey, on display in front of the AMC at Universal Citywalk
"I guess Hollywood ran out of original stories 30 years ago. „If..." so done replies to a news article about this weekend's record box office
The Microsoft CEO who looks like Captain Picard and Dave Bautista does something weird gesturing with his hands and I've added a bunch of pogs
Tom Holland in Spider-Man: Brand New Day, he's totally ripped and wearing only a towel and his mask. I don't know how they do it at the Russian baths but at WiSpa you can't be wearing your Speedo in the tubs.
Maybelle Blair, wearing amazing glaucoma (?) ski Google glasses, fist bumps a younger player before todays LA Queens NY Heights matchup. Baseball is beautiful
A 1969 hardcover autobiography I wish I owned called FIREBELLE LILLIE - The Life and Times of Lillie Coit of San Francisco by Hellen Holdrege shows Elizabeth Coit posing in her extremely rad circa 1910 Firefighter uniform. The new WPBL team is named in her honor
Pioneer Lizzie "Spikes" Murphy, probably the first woman to play professional baseball, poses in the antique sepia photo in her uniform as though she is going to field a ground ball
Players from the WPBL show off their new uniforms. The LA Queens wear a joyless black/silver/gold scheme while the SF Firebells are rock a beautiful purple with orange flair scheme. The Hunters and the Heights were uniforms from a generic NES baseball game and I wish them luck
Photo I took of an AMC trailer that says NO POSTING and the letters are backlit making the warning very epic
American mathematician and philosopher Theodore J Kaczynski looks into the camera with resigned determination
The subhead of a news article reads in bold "Harrison Bader scooter history"
Bradley Whitford, the creepy white "ally" in the movie Get Out with a word ballon so he's saying the quoted skeet
a 6:05 AM Thursday screening of the Odyssey (in imax 70mm at universal Citywalk AMC) has 95% of the seats sold
Universal Citywalk AMC has 65 screenings of Spider-Man Brand New Day scheduled for tomorrow, with dozens "almost sold out" which typically indicates a situation that is Sold Out because all but a few handicapped seats or front row corner seats have been claimed
The Royal Taste of India, a food truck at a chevron station in a desolate field 26 miles south of Bakersfield has 751 reviews averaging 4.7 stars. The Google street view captures some of its remote isolation. It is probably my favorite of the 5 or so similar setups I've had the pleasure of stopping at
Bhattura Cholle (fried bread that inflates like a party balloon with a side of curried garbanzo beans and pickled veg and red onion and yogurt, on a table with a view of a Shell station in the middle of nowhere California
Shohei Ohtani makes a face no one has ever made before so it's kind of hard to describe. A combination of puppy dog eyes, frowning, and surprise
Jerri Blank from the show Strangers With Candy has a word ballon that makes her look like she's saying the quoted skeet
Show flyer ft me, 2 other standups, and 3 drag artists. It's called HALLOWEEN IN JULY and it's tonight at 7:30 a 301 SW Morrison in Portland
I left a comment on Haley's Instagram post (her most recent post has 4 likes) saying "I'm really coming around on Haley ever since I learned she's paying influencers $1500 to endorse her. As a Michigander (never been, am I saying that right?) I know how important it is for our officials to find novel ways to you can Venmo me at my name " and then I clicked that I Liked the comment because if you don't love yourself then what are we even doing here?
Cover art for SOVIET LAND a new graphic novel by Pierre-Henry Gomont. The colored pencil style art depicts 3 men at a gas station in Siberia posing with their car. The old man wears a trench coat and is hoisting a shotgun over his shoulder
Me superimposed coyly over a poster for Windy City Comedy Fest a standup festival happening in Chicago August 6-9 2026
Diedrich Bader in Napoleon Dynamite wearing American flag parachute pants and a bandana demonstrating karate. The parachute pants on the guy I saw weren't flag themed and he was also wearing suspenders but the vibe was similar
My freshly bathed very shaggy dog panting with his tongue hanging out because he's been running around with the zoomies, standing in front of my (for 4 weeks) yurt surrounded by verdant Forest Park in Portland Oregon. 12 mins from Vietnamese food, but completely in the woods
Absolutely massive bingsu (Korean style shave I've made from shaved frozen condensed milk with a scoop of purple Ube ice cream on top with mochi and red bean
Venn diagram where solo libertarian men and groups of queer friends agree on one thing: You should be allowed to do drugs and walk around in the river naked
Someone else, SOMEONE I LIKE WHO HAS INTERESTING INSIGHTS, claims the comic is about him
4 pints on semi exotic locally grown berries including excellent but relatively normal raspberries, white currants, I'm guessing boysenberries (these tasted the best) and black currants (taste is sorta strange). $24 at New Seasons in Portland.
Shohei Ohtani looks down in complete shock, he can't believe what you're skeeting
Mysterious Girlfriend X says "keep your hand on the grave while we exchange drool" and she and her boyfriend touch his mom's grave
Yugioh slamming a card down
30 Rock screenshot where Avery Jessup is reading the news and says "and in food news, you've had enough to eat today"
A deranged response to a comic strip from someone already muted as an "ai enjoyer" claims "no one in America has trouble affording: fucking food" https://bsky.app/profile/surcomplicated.bsky.social/post/3mr3j6loxbs2y
A Wikipedia hot link that just says "Dogs" (from the "animals that have failed" section of Wikipedia's Mirror Test article
A Wikipedia subhead title says "Animals that have failed" from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirror_test
Tsubaki says "it feels pretty good to visit Mom's grave now and then." in the subtitled episode 13 (OVA) of "Mysterious Girlfriend X"
Wikipedia plot for the anime "Mysterious Girlfriend X" that says: PLOT The series follows the relationship of Akira Tsubaki and Mikoto Urabe. Urabe is a transfer student who recently came to Tsubaki's school. After a series of strange events, Tsubaki finds himself addicted to Urabe's drool. " https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mysterious_Girlfriend_X
The grim reaper pulls a man out of a claw machine game and he's captioned to say "Yeah okay close enough"
Yoshinobu Yamamoto of the Los Angeles Dodgers reclines seductively doing some kind of calf stretch and I added a word balloon coming out of his ass to make it look like he farted the quoted skeet
A ticketing website for a theater in Chicago wants a "12 to 32" character password that also contains numbers, special characters, and upper and lower case letters
Photo of a street sign that says "Failing St" in Portland Oregon
No avatar picture Michael Tracey ‪@m-tracey.bsky.social‬ Replied to tinybaby: I'm a "pussy," but you've been tweeting and posting about hot-button political topics for at least 15 years under the anonymizing moniker of "tinybaby" 44 replies, zero likes then Leon says ‪leon‬ ‪@leyawn.bsky.social‬ hey michael quick question. did you find this post by searching for your name or searching for the word pussy 206 likes
2 extra firm non-standard (cube) sized blocks of tofu in a clear bag in front of Ota Tofu in Portland Oregon. $7! Family owned!
Hand pulled noodles with tofu and a poisonous amount of red chili sauce
Britt's from community says I can excuse being a nazi, the sexual assaults, the working at abu ghraib, the expressing a desire to kill, the misogyny, the not actually being an oyster farmer, the slurs, but I draw the line at and normally Shirley would question it but Britt's talked so much there's no room to respond