Jeff Steck

@jefstec.bsky.social

1090 Followers 404 Following

Patents for a brighter dystopia 📍Chicago

A roadside sign reading "JFC Appliances"
Photo of AJ Hudson's pub, flying the English flag, with people milling around outside
DVD cover of a film called, "J'Aime les Belges!" with a photo of Jacques Brel.
Patent drawing of a baby zipped into a dramatic hourglass-shaped outfit.
Cartoonish patent drawings of generally sinister-looking people with breath tubes in their mouths to test for drugs.
Photo of a yeti (the creature, not the cooler) adorned with American and pride flags in the sidecar of a scooter.
Still image from Sword of Trust (2019), with the protagonists collectively giving a look of bewildered disappointment.
Complete front page of the patent entitled "Device for Posture Correction and Kegel Exercise," because people sometimes think I make these up. There is a drawing of a shoe with a sort of twisty heel, which presumably encourages you to engage your pelvic floor to avoid falling.
Patent drawing of a nude, partly see-through bionic man with a pensive expression and a thought bubble reading "I feel her hand."
Patent drawing of a hoodie with vape components on either end of the drawstring.
Photo of a lush green prairie.
A map of Midwest states, showing that Illinois is free of bears
Patent drawing of a smiling woman wearing a graduation cap.
Front page of a patent for an "animal toy" that is clearly just a stick.
Patent drawing of a shirtless warrior wearing some kind of armor that covers his head and part of his chest but not quite his nipples.
Patent drawing with closeup of stripes on zebrafish fins.
Patent drawing with the heading "Replicating Mental States," illustrating brain waves being transmitted via computer from a "Donor" to a "Recipient."
Photo of a small river bordered on the left by trees and on the right by a field of yellow wildflowers.
Patent drawing of a forearm with a press-on wound.
Patent drawing of an ouroboros of minced meat, one end of the sausage consuming the other.
Patent drawing of shorts with rectangular "wipe zones" of absorbent fabric over the legs.
Patent drawing of someone using their oversized hand to wax their hairy misshapen leg.
Patent drawing of a cat, staring out of the page, resting on a platform mounted on a person's shoulder.
Photo of a list of "23 orders" of rogues, such as "priggers of prancers," "fraters," "jarkmen," "bawdy baskets," and "doxies."
Patent drawing of a trucker hat with the "logo" part removed, revealing a can piercing tool.
Patent drawing of a baseball cap with a sort of poof coming out of the top. The poof looks like the hair of a Simpsons character but is actually part of the hat meant to hold your ponytail high.
Patent drawing of a planter shaped to spell out "love," from a utility patent granted yesterday
Patent drawing of a dog wearing a "cone of shame" but the cone is made of separate overlapping petals.
Fiberglass sidewalk sculpture of a hot dog sleeping on a couch.
Patent drawing of someone twisting open a cigar so they can refill it.
Patent drawing of the "rage pad," which resembles a small wrist rest.
Patent drawing of AirPods attached to a looped cord.
Peter Silberman on guitar, lit by purple stage lights.
Patent drawing showing a time series of a space capsule deploying a parachute, dropping its heat shield, inflating airbags, and landing.
Still from the horror short "The Chair," showing an antique dining chair sitting on a curb and someone considering whether to take it home.
Patent drawing of four beavers gnawing at vegetation next to a stream.
Three patent drawings outlining a route to the moon. The route initially overshoots the moon by a large margin.
Photo from patent of a man standing with arms extended upward. His arms are supported by a set of straps rigged to a backpack.
Mural of Dolores Huerta on a brick wall.
Photo of a small prairie between Lake Michigan and a copse of trees. It is covered with small green sprouts rising from a layer of burned vegetation.
Photo of a beer bottle being opened using the bottom of a sandal.
Patent drawing of cargo shorts with a strap over one pocket to secure a beer bottle.
Patent drawing of a dog wearing a diaper that is conspicuously not covering "anus 98"
June 1916 Popular Science article reporting on the creation of the "Naval Consulting Board" inviting "the inventors of the country to submit their ideas" and stating that 5000 ideas had already been received.
Graph of real time occupancy data from Google, showing pub about four times busier than usual
Patent drawing of a woman wearing a sling over her shoulders, with a small fluffy dog peeking out of the sling.
Cartoonish patent drawing showing a "creep" avatar attempting to touch a female avatar and being sent on a "bad trip" as punishment.
Close-up of burned vegetation, still smoking.
Patent drawing of a woman wearing a garment with decorative strips of fabric, some of which are criss-crossed down her arms. It's giving Cleopatra.
Patent drawing of a stick figure wearing heels. They are looking at their phone, which is showing a video of how a stick figure is supposed to walk in heels.
Patent drawing of a woman emerging from a tanning bed.
Patent drawing of a headless mannequin torso holding a baby.
An advertising type electronic sign reading "Emergency Room Minimal Wait"
Patent drawing of a guitar case with a silhouette of a dog inside.
Patent drawing of a person sitting up in bed, covered by a sheet, and looking out through a single hole, resembling a one-eyed ghost
Patent drawing of a man tossing a bean bag onto a panel, which then explodes with a flame effect. Per the patent, it "complies with most all fire safety regulations."
Patent drawings of a lanyard and ID tag worn in twelve different positions.
Screenshot showing that CIA files include a 1989 paper about "Consciousness Related Anomalies in Random Physical Systems"
Unsettling patent drawing of a man staring out of the page and into your soul, as if in preparation for a feast
Patent drawings of a test-tube-like capsule holding a rolled-up $50 bill.