jenn schiffer 🙂‍↔️

@jennschiffer.com

11651 Followers 1191 Following

middle-aged dirtbag jennschiffer.com / livelaugh.blog / bugsrock.online 🚫EMAILING MY WIFE

photo of a two door compost bin enclosure covered in signs about how and what it to compost, and one smaller sign where the doors would open stapling them shut and saying “COMPOST CLOSED, NO NEW COMPOST”
screenshot of a labeller description branded upon my countingsheep bot, saying “Suspected Inauthentic Behavior Applied to accounts which don't 'smell right'—includes accounts with zero posts and thousands of followers with similar bios, accounts that only reply but don't clearly fit into the troll or reply guy mold, or clusters of accounts which appear designed to boost the content of another account. Please note that accounts will only be added here after clear indication of inauthentic behavior. We will not and do not label accounts solely for linking to Only Fans. Sex work is real work.“
a large penis drawn by, i assume, a child on the sidewalk
kagi search for "replit printing" set to month-old oldest content, it's all short form spam video content about replit making teens money lol
an amphora vase I just threw on the wheel set off to the side and next to a brooklyn js thermos to show its much bigger. maybe a gallon size
photo of the "Will It Blend" guy back when jpegs were only 300px wide after something exploded in his blender so there's smoke all around - like he's vaping, get it????
Selfie of me walking in the thick humid drizzle of jersey city wearing a way too heavy oversize gray tshirt and a green hat that has “spreadsheets” embroidered on it
screenshot of an email with the subject "moflin deals are live" and the graphic says "moflin casio deal days june 23-26" with an image of a person seeming to be watching tv with their ai rodent moflin
screenshot from the hope conference talks page: "More Computational Techniques for Making Karaoke Harder Jamie Brew, Jenn Schiffer Robot karaoke returns to HOPE! Jamie and Jenn run a live comedy show where performers sing all-new words to classic tunes, generated in real time. Their songwriting system searches an eclectic catalog for phrases that match the original rhyme and meter of each line, creating lyrics that have never been sung before and will never be sung again. Think Quora questions to the tune of “Dancing Queen” or HOPE presentation titles to the tune of “The Rainbow Connection.” This talk covers how they source the data, phonetically annotate the songs, run the show, and develop their core software: the Weird Algorithm."
Photo of my black cat pumagreg playing with a bee attached to string attached to a handle that I am holding as I take the photo. he’s laying in the bed and his front leg has a cuff shaved from his recent surgery. i call that paw his “Ugg boot”
my black cat pumagreg in the cubbyhole of his cat tree. it looks like he is winking at the camera
a guy who looks fun and also the kind to love Mountain Dew holding a hot dog and the caption says “bad news for hot dogs: I woke up”
pumagreg, my black cat with a cone on his head and hind part of his body shaved as he had a leg amputated, trying to get in a cat tree cubby hole that i stuffed with paper to keep him out of
screenshot that has "$79.99" crossed out and below it says "See Low Price in Cart"
email forward from me to path so the the subject “Fwd: Your Transit Account has been Suspended” and i wrote “ i just want to share that this is an alarming and unnecessary way to notify someone that their card is simply low on funds.”
Screenshot of an email from tapp and the subject says “your transit account has been suspended”
photo of someone who would talk like Richard, white guy with a trench coat and hat on indoors, holding a sword in a way that is gonna slice his own head off if he gets distracted by a funko pop looking out of place in his mom’s garage-turned-bedroom with a dragon shirt on
photo of my cooled and settled basque cheesecake with one slice cut out on a plate and it looks pretty perfect
photo of my basque cheesecake fresh from the broiler
screenshot of Subway takes with the guest Jennifer Lopez saying “you have to be born in New York to be a New Yorker”
nbc news headline “Priest removed as exorcist after his comments on UFOs and demons” in a browser widget titled “news”
photo of a six-sided black die on the floor, every side says “we’ll see”
a cricut being used to cut candle warning labels out of glossy label paper
photo of my black cat pumagreg chilling, laying out on the floor of a large vet patient room
Photo of two plates of dinner, which was Salisbury steak mashed potatoes, and green beans.
a couple of purple irises poking through a cast iron fence
Photo of a collage taped to my pantry door and it’s got a couple of faces are mashed up mouths and eyes and a background and inside the mouth and eyes are different textures from magazines. There is foil tape used to border the faces and a couple of pieces of french fries being eaten.
Photo of a 15 x 20” grid where every square is a quarter inch on a large watercolor pad on my dining room table where I can sit like a normal person who cares about back health even just a little
screenshot of some horse game probably off a cd, where a horse girl is petting her horse and the horse looks better than the girl
Nerikomi technique clay slab that has a grayish base with some blue and yellow splotches and a pattern I rolled out into it.
A short video of me, removing a cup, I threw on the wheel to move to another area
Photo of my gym treadmill screen while I’m a half hour into a walk - which I do inside of a gym because there are no cars -and on the screen is a virtual setting (I think it was the coastline of Sardinia) that has a car coming right at me
“I love the smell of incest 😍😍😍” as a Snapchat caption of a photo holding a bunch incense sticker
video of me moving a box of tampons in a gym locker room around from saying “girl stuff” to “shark week”
a blonde kid with an extremely structured bob with bangs holding a crucifix with Jesus on it made of balloons (typically used to make balloon animals and swords) and it’s about 3/4 the height of the child.
twitter post by rad_milk 11:55 AM · May 27, 2019 BOSS: are you smoking weed here at work ME: relax it’s sativa you dumbass. you fucking moron
photo of a slab of brown clay on a table with square pieces of different color clay layered and rolled into it, this technique is called Nerikomi
My MacBook Air on a table and blue below the Apple logo is a white printed out label that just plainly says “Gabagool” and it looks like this was an IT department issued laptop
New England aquarium big tank and suddenly a stingray enters my shot and swims off
A row of yellow, orange, red and purple flowers that i think are tulips
2 purple irishes bloomed along an iron fence
a building being torn down on Newark ave in jersey city (the one that barcade and other places used to be in) and all that appears to be standing are the front and side walls - being held up by iron bars angled into the walls from the ground. the dollar store sits, unscathed to the right of the building
Photo of an aquarium tank within the New England aquarium in Boston there’s lots of little different colored fish ones that are not uncommon in fancy tanks at least in the United States - you know like clown fish
photo of a metal table and on it are three bisque fired pots i made - a blue underglazed cat vase with a clipped ear which is called blumagreg, a small traditional round vase painted in black underglaze, and a travel mug that has a faint underglaze grid pattern on the bottom half
piranha in an aquarium with its toothy mouth open
photo of the same piranha i just posted in a tank at the boston aquarium but his mouth is open like he’s yelling at me, he probably was. he probably was like “can you get me the fuck out of here”
photo of a piranha in the boston aquarium looking at me with his teeth clenched and exposed, not quite a smile but it’s what i look like when i try to smile on command
two texts from my brother in all caps because he is screaming “RHODE ISLAND IS WHERE ITS AT” and “AND YOU'RE STARTING FROM THE BEGINNING WITH ME THIS IS PERFECT”
video of a pigeon strolling by me as i sit in the ticketed waiting area of the one and only Newark Penn station
transparent png of an illustration of a wolf sitting and pondering
The same photo as my original post which is a selfie of me looking dead eyed at the camera, but instead of the welts between my eyes from my sunglasses, I put an image of the iconic hideous IKEA, bisexual couch
photo of me looking dead eyed into the camera with nice shaggy hair, well behaving bangs despite the heat, and a red welt between my eyes where my sunglasses were
Screenshot from a cpsc.gov recall email for “Mini Round Toddler Trampolines Recalled Due to Strangulation Hazard; Risk of Serious Injury or Death; Manufactured by SEGMART” and it’s a small trampoline, enclosed with like a hammock and balls, punching bag? basketball hoop? and things hanging down. It’s like an insane, colorful, torture chamber that is so dangerous looking it could be used as cheap parody
“ Hello Jennifer Schiffer! We're sending you a note to remind you that Pumagreg has a(n) Canine Annual Wellness appointment coming up”
Screenshot that says “Hi, Jennifer Schiffer. Your shipment from The Gluten-Free Mall? is scheduled for” and that’s a question mark after Mall like they’re just making a guess