Joe Auerbach

@joeauerbach.bsky.social

923 Followers 296 Following

Professional nerd. Hobbyist nerd. Biological nerd? he/him I think I wrote a book? It was sort of an accident, but it's in my linktree: linktr.ee/joe.auerbach

“Claudia, this is David Forrester.” I stuck my hand out just in case she wanted it. She did not. Instead she narrowed her eyes at me. She seemed to be trying to look through me. Eventually she said, “Seven Theses on the Structures of Order within the Church of Light? That David Forrester?” “The very same.” This time she did shake my hand though very briefly. Perhaps the least enthusiastic handshake I'd ever received in my life. “It must be very strange for you to be here after all this time.” I realized that by all this time she probably meant her entire life. “It is. Yes.” “Just think. If you never left the Church, you'd be in this room right now.” “I am in this room right now.” She smirked and turned around with her tea. The dismissal was better than the handshake.
An e-reader in a case. On the left is a suede case with a big paper clip. On the right is the paperwhite screen. It has a black and white picture of Shakespeare and underneath it says "press Yi button to start". There's a huge Mickey mouse glove hand pointing toward the power button at the bottom.
A stylized red, white and black line art man is pointing at you. Around him are the words " choosing to stay out of politics and social justice issues is white privilege. You have the ability to ignore oppression only because you aren't facing it or being forced to address it like other races" I don't love the use of the word races here because I'm not a part of the English Raj but it's still a good sentiment.
Aabria Iyengar saying Fuck TERFs on the set of Misfits and Magic.
This is a set list Honestly, I don't want to list all these songs out in the alt text, but if you want to know what they are, let me know and I'll send them in a response or something
A pink wispy sunset happening behind and above a purple lit stage downtown
A smiling family of four, mostly in Guster shirts, stands in front of a blurry crowd and a blurry stage outside.
Gaming Figures. A red robed monk opposite a human woman in a bluendress holding a winged angel. On a 2x2 brown square.
Hey, martial arts built display. The belts go white, yellow, orange, green, blue, purple, brown, red, black. All of the belts are a solid color with a black line through the middle, except the blue belt, which is a solid color with a white line through the middle. There's a gap between the red belt and the black belt where I belt is missing.
A photo of feet from above in a circle around a lantern, a tiny altar, and some Greek alphabet oracle stones.
A white ball with blobs of color
Me (a chubby white guy dressed in a taekwondo uniform) jumping pretty high with high knees.
Hunter Biden responding to accusations that he left a bag of drugs in the white House by saying, " it most definitely was not. I would never have forgotten my drugs"
A black haired white cartoon woman wearing a gold crown and a gold breastplate places a 5 pronged golden crown on the head of a similarly black haired white guy with no chin (Eric the cavalier).
A high block to the back
Just me in ready position
Me in a long stance holding a sword.
Trans guy who is absolutely carrying a dead fandom
Little plastic clappers shaped like hands
Image of the West Wing cast over the title and a phot of the white house.
Waffle House logo that says glurp glurp
Same glurp glurp waffle House image but with a sign post
Waffle House logo. It says "glurp glurp"
A closed stage curtain with an arching ceiling curving up and away toward a taller ceiling.
An alignment chart. The top is labeled uses order/principled, opportunist, anarchist/unprincipled. The left side is labeled altruistic, indifferent / selfish, and sadist/ supremacists. The center is normal alignments (LG, NG,CG, LN, NN, CN, LE, NE, and CE)
Disgust from Inside Out saying, "It's like we don't learn anything."
Lady Gaga at the 2019 met gala wearing an obnoxious and enormous pink off the shoulder coat that had a 10-in train.
The three-layer cake. The inside layers look light and speckled brown. It's in three layers and the icing is soft and white with pecans on top for decorations
A young girl wearing a black dress and sunglasses stands in a vibrant Catholic cemetery.
A flyer for a GongKwon Yusul seminar in Ohio It says grandmaster Kang Jun, founder of Gungkwon Yusul. Under that it says the beginning of Gungkwon Yusul in America. Below that I'd lists the dates as June 4th 2026 through June 6th 2026. There's a picture of a Korean man with dark hair wearing a white uniform and a black belt. He's standing in front of a sort of starscape.
A collection of art featuring prominent women. Upper left is in older, bald black woman. To her right is a white woman with blonde hair and glasses wearing a blue coat. To her right is a thin Asian woman with the bob cut wearing a white shirt. To her right is a middle-aged black woman with short dreads and wide glasses. Underneath her is a black woman of about the same age, but broader features with longer dreads. To her left on the bottom row is an older black woman with black and gray hair wearing cat's eye glasses and a purple blouse. To her left is a younger white woman with long blonde hair. To her left is a young, smiling Muslim woman wearing a red hijab and a white suit coat. And finally all the way to the bottom left is a young white woman, a punk vest, and shaggy black hair.
A screenshot of Danny Cherry. Underneath him, there's a tag that says that he unfollowed more than 150 people in the last month.
A serious ferret. he's looking at the camera in black and white and his little face is very adorable. The text above his face says, "I beat Zelda one time."
A grand white cat sleeping curled up on the couch.
Some middle ages white nerd with floppy brown hair holding a book in front of his face. The book is When The Stars bleed by Sarah Madsen. there's a black hole singularity on the cover.
A screenshot from betrayal in antara: it's three identical 16 bit 256 color pirates holding swords against our heros: a blonde, a brunette, and the girl one. Below is the interface showing a PC face and some stats like health, stamina, and strength.
Elena Gilbert is a young pale vampire with straight brown hair. There are dark veins around her eyes and her fangs are out indicating that she is hungry.
A slice of a YouTube music recap. Top tracks. Number one is radio by bershey. Number two is wake up by Jonathan Colton. Number 3 is pound cake by thot squad. Number four is ice in my OJ by Hayley Williams. Number 5 is hose depressed by thot squad. Each entry has accompanying album art.
A very tiny tumbler mug. Like two inches.
Liam Layton smiling. He's wearing a Godzilla meets starry night t-shirt and is on a purple background. He's a middle-aged white male. Dark hair with a little gray in the temples. Lean. Nice smile.
Fake TMZ headline about Chuck Norris's death. It reads: "Then gandalf the Gray, and gandalf the White, and Monty Python and the holy grail's Black Knight, and Benito Mussolini, and the blue meanie, and cowboy Curtis, and Jambi The genie, Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-Pan, Superman, every single power ranger, Bill s. Preston, and Theodore Logan, Spock, the Rock, doc Ock, and hulk Hogan all came out of nowhere lightning fast and they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass. Dead at 86.
I mean saying all four Ohio seasons and 24 hours. It's broken into four quadrants. The upper left is summer. 4:00 p.m. Sunday. 70° and warm. The upper right is fall. 11:00 p.m. Sunday. 50 mph wins. The bottom left is spring. 5:00 a.m. Monday. Thunderstorms. The bottom right is winter. Noon Monday. Freezing temperatures.
A cartoon woman. Medium brown skin. Hair in a bun. Her face is plain and expressionless. She's wearing a black tank top and a net cover.
A cartoon young man. He's got medium brown hair and a lighter goatee. He's got white skin and probably a tan. He's wearing a pink wool shirt with a green coat over. His expression is something like mildly abashed.
A woman cartoon. Dot eyes. Line nose, wider line mouth. She's serious. Straight black hair. Light skin and thin with ear cuffs. She's wearing a tank top and plaid shirt.
A young man cartoon. Pink skin. Floppy blonde hair. And a cheerful disposition. He's wearing a light green shirt. A brown coat, and a green scarf. He's giving a thumbs up and saying something mysterious.
Also a cartoon. Young black girl with cute eyes, pom pom hair, wearing a sweater with a shirt underneath. She's making a peace sign and wearing a small stone as a necklace.
A woman cartoon. Dot eyes. Block node. Medium brown hair, light brown skin, wearing layers and in a wheelchair. Light grey background.
An empty hand, facing the camera, holding nothing,
Basically this looks like 6 tubes of tortilla on a tray.
Leonardo Leonardo: a white man in a dark cuit with short hair and a tight goatee in on the phone (with canada). he says, "No, it's not evil spirits, it's just rain. Raiiiin. Fine, try and kill it!"
A silver medal on a red and blue ribbon. The medal has a front facing fist and is wrapped in a martial arts belt.
Scouts holding huge antlers above a caption. "Scouting America says transgender kids are still welcome after Pete Hegseth claimed they weren't."
A long table. It's covered in Irish tavern style altar cloths in black and white. At the center is a wagon wheel surrounded by 13 lit tea lights with a silver bowl in the middle flanked by antlered beasts. To the left are a number of empty brown bowls and some empty ceramic dishes To the right more bowls, some of which are full and some little placards about offerings. In the center is a druid sigil done up in pride colors.
the nerd himself: a normal looking white guy, mid forties, brown hair flirting very lightly with grey and a modest amount of facial hair. He looks pretty tired.
A black and white photo of a nun sitting in front of a synthetic keyboard. She's wearing headphones. Text on the top says "forgive me Father". Text on the bottom says "for I have synthed."
Short haired brunette man with a smallish amount of facial fair smiling in a yellow hoodie. He's sitting in front of a wall of coat hooks.
Photo by Epstein's pool. In the photo are Epstein, Diddy, Bill Gates. Jay Z, Hilary and Bill Clinton, and Stephen fucking Hawking.
A tiny young child wearing a smooshed Kermit hat on his head.
Beef stew in a bread bowl.