@johnjaques.bsky.social

@johnjaques.bsky.social

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A well dressed late 19th century lady walks her tiny dog on the prom by the sea. Caption: the first line from Chekov's The Lady with the Dog: " It was said that a new person had appeared on the sea front: a lady with a little dog. " An unseen observer: "woof woof!"
A WW1 soldier is slowly covered in falling poppies. Caption: From Rupert Brookes' The Soldier, "If I should die, think only this of me: That there's some corner of a foreign field that is forever England. "
The author Somerset Maugham reclines on a sofa with a pipe and a book. Caption: "I have never begun a novel with more misgiving." The book on his lap is revealed to be 72 Virgins by Boris Johnson.
Harpo Marx sits with his face resting on his hand while Sooty plays the harp with his wand. Caption: First line from Carson McCullers' The Heart is a Lonely Hunter. " In the town there were two mutes, and they were always together." Second joke line: " No one ever knew why, because they never said."
Alice from Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland kneels in the grass and finds a large marijuana joint with the words "smoke me" on it.
James Bond lights a cigarette in the airport departure lounge, empty glasses in front of him. Caption: first line from Gold finger, "James Bond, with two double bourbons inside him, sat in the final departure lounge of Miami Airport and thought of life and death." Joke second line: His next thought was " I wonder if that stewardess is wearing a bra?"
An attractive Elizabethan woman and man look puzzled as they are addressed by an unseen third person. Caption 1: Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day? Caption 2: I dunno Bill, are you talking to me or this chipstick?
A line drawing of George Orwell with an extravagant hair style. First line of Animal Farm : Mr Jones, of the Manor Farm, had locked the hen-houses for the night, but was too drunk to remember to shut the pop-holes. Joke second line: Not as drunk as my barber when he gave me this hair-do though, I mean, hour legs good two legs bad but the blighter must have been absolutely legless -amirite?
A school boy Boris Johnson in ragged, blood stained clothes stands among the rocks on a remote island. Next to him, a severed pigs head on a pole. Caption first line of Lord of the Flies, The boy with fair hair lowered himself down the last few feet of rock and began to pick his way to the lagoon. Joke 2nd line : Things looked bleak but with a bunch of the island and with the freedom to do what the hell they wanted, he thought - what could possibly go wrong?
Bowness in Windermere is crowded with tourists in brightly coloured anoraks, the poet Wordsworth looks on in despair. Caption first line: I wandered lonely as a cloud. Second line: Then I got to Windermere and it was absolutely packed with tourists.
A cold war era checkpoint on the Berlin wall. The Brandenburg Gate in the background shrouded in mist. First line from The Spy Who Came In From The Cold by John Lewis Carre : The American handed Leamas another cup of coffee and said 'Why don't you go back and sleep? We can ring you if he shows up.' Joke second line: Oh and wear a coat or something will you, it's god damn freezing out there.
Caption: In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Then he had a cup of tea and a hobnob before making a start on the dinosaurs. Image: Parody of the costume chapel painting, with God reaching out to Adam, who is green and has the head of a dinosaur.
Holly Golightly fro Breakfast at Tiffany's stands in front of Blackpool tower holding a stick of rock and a can of Stella Artois. First line: I am always drawn back to the places where I have lived, the houses and their neighbourhoods. Second line: Not Blackpool though, obviously - I'm never going back to that shithole.
A big camel head. First line from The Towers of Trezibond by Rose Macaulay. First line: "Take my camel dear," said my Aunt Dot, as she climbed down from this animal on her return from High Mass. Second line: Only my aunt had been to Mass you understand, the camel itself was a staunch Presbyterian.
Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, shown from the hem of her gingham skirt to the blood spattered ruby slippers. Standing on the yellow brick road as strands of straw float down. First line: Dorothy lived in the midst of the great Kansas prairies, with uncle Harry who was a farmer, and Aunt Em, who was the farmer's wife. Second line: Which all sounds innocent enough but things are not always black and white - by the end of the tale she had murdered two women and made out with a scarecrow.
A woman sits in the window seat nursing a cup of tea, looking wistfully into the night sky where a constellation has formed itself into the shape of Peter Pan. First line: All children, except one grow up. Second line: Well actually 'all girls grow up ' thought Wendy as her husband Richard, a 38 year old accountant from Guildford threw his Xbox controller across the room after being beaten by that 13 year old boy from Wisconsin again, and when he'd promised to help her choose a colour for the dining room curtains too.
T S Eliot rests his head moodily on his cane. First line of The Wasteland " April is the cruelest month" followed by joke 2nd line "Tax returns innit?"
A hand holds a snow globe. Within sits a broken sledge on blood spattered snow.
A rabbit sits pensively in the meadow. Ominous quotes from Watership Down hang like ghosts in the air.
The poet Dylan Thomas sits at a pub table, an assortment of drinks and bottles in front of him. A clock ticks in the background.
An old man lies smoking in bed arm draped around his sleeping, young male lover.
A film noir detective holds a gun and furtively peeks out of a window.
A jealous Dr Watson stares at Sherlock Holmes with burning desire.