John Pontoon, dissident titwillow

@johnpontoon.bsky.social

2617 Followers 146 Following

I once sang, “From where I stand you look like ants / and there’s an aardvark in my pants.” It wasn’t literally true at the time. I don't have anything to sell you... except hope! Ha ha jk. I used to be talented: soundcloud.com/johnpontoon

SpaceX stock continues to eat shit, now at its lowest-ever 115.26
A black Tesla car parked in the middle of spaces marked 1 and 2.
White male, Roman nose, dark but very graying wavy hair that used to be much curlier.
A junction box with a graffito that reads “Hang Tromb” but his name is spelled correctly, I’m just evading the search police here, you dig? Also there’s a yard sale that way —>
Gas prices: Regular (cash) $4.94 Regular (credit) $4.99 and order kinds of power prices also but they matter less for our purposes
The case against the Reflecting Pool vandal faces dismissal. I didn't read this, can presume the case is in trouble because it's entirely a fiction ordered by a delusional old madman.
Batman dubs this cow Bat-Cow. Bat-Cow accepts with a noble “Moo.”
Dean Stockwell asking for a Q*Tip
Instead, he said he has been inundated by messages from people saying they intend to urinate on the sculpture.
Photo caption: Gianni Infantino carefully explains to Donald Trump that he is not part of the Spanish national team. Photographer: Javier Garcia/ Shutterstock The photo shows the two alone, with Infantino speaking to Trump and Trump looking stupid, uncomprehending, and incontinent.
The President of Argentina. I don’t remember his name… Wally Blarfblerf, something like that.
It’s a sentient plate, holy shit!
Sgt Hartmann shouts in Gomer Pyle’s face while Private Joker looks on in Stanley Kubrick’s Full Metal Jacket
The pus-filled lump writer of this stuff blathers about how an ai actress is his favorite because he wishes to see a virgin onscreen.
boobface is watching. I stole this off of somebody on twitter - fuck them, amirite?
Jack Elam in a quieter moment
A fire radar graphic that more or less looks like all of Canada is on fire
Lake michigan and Chicago skyline from a tall building
Right below Matt’s journalistic scoop, we see a cat smelling a Vice Presidential beefer.
Cover of Six-Gun Gorilla #5 W: Simon Spurrier A: Jeff Stokely
1-month stock value, basically just keeps going down with occasional bumps up.
TABBCIS CREATIVE IŁDITY DON’T HAVE AØVBŹ BUT HAVE, IDEAS .THEAVE IDEAS, LIVING AROUND EVERYWHERE
Car plows right tf through a crowd of bicyclists, this happened like 25 years ago, and reporters on the ground reported a huge number of BOING! sound effects.
homey’s complexion looks poor
Charlie Mundt (John Goodman) running towards us down a flaming hallway, shouting I’LL SHOW YOU THE LIFE OF THE MIND!
My wife says “He died doing what he loved: spreading his ass cheeks.”
thing from his twitter account saying Lindsey Graham passed away from “a brief and sudden illness” which is a funny way of describing being split in half from all the cocks in his ass
A picture taken of a TV screen, a man whispering into another man’s ear. There is a translation at bottom, but most of the translation is covered by the captions, which read “[speaking Arabic]”
GARTH IORG
What if he failed to appear because he was killing Charlie Kirk? ‪Phil Lewis‬ ‪@phillewis.bsky.social‬ · 10mo Former Congressman Madison Cawthorn arrested in Florida for failure to appear in court
Lisa Simpson tells her parents “Mitch Mcconnell is dead!” Then she pulls out a knife and pushes it into his eye and goes, “See?”
Jake the Dog, sans Finn the Human
Tyler Cowen, self-owner par excellence
From The Free Press: My Favorite Actress Is Not Human Tilly Norwood doesn’t need a hairstylist, has no regrettable posts, and if you wish to see a virgin on-screen, this is one of your better chances. That’s because she’s AI. By Tyler Cowen 10.02.25 — Tyler Cowen Must Know
Caucasian guy with a roman nose, absolute tangle of dark gray hair, dark eyes. Wearing a great trans rights tee and a lanyard around his neck. Dark bags under his eyes.
Trump prattles while everyone nearby is embarrassed for the nation but isn’t allowed to show it exactly
Next: Lost steel
Winner of the Insult Belgians contest.
Sophie Marceau looking gorgeous in Braveheart. If you do an image search for the movie, like the first 700 images are of Mel fucking Gibson.
Snake ‘N’ Bacon’s Cartoon Cabaret by @MKupperman
Banana Number One, coming in July from Bad Idea Comics
Couple of Russki military dorks balling their hands for hands farts. Under the table, neither one is wearing pants.
My team, the Champagne Terrors, has 10 points each in R RBI SB OBP and XB. Big fuckin deal, right?
Michael Kupperman’s cover for TMBG’s Long Tall Weekend
Wings - Magneto and Titanium Man Magneto looks like Jack Kirby art to me. I presume the Titanium Man and Crimson Dynamo art are by Don Heck
Supersuckers - The Smoke of Hell
"The Onion's stunning plan for Alex Jones' Infowars" screams the headline over a picture of Jones's face, displaying less leprosy than usual.
the misshapen ogre hand of the worst President ever
Jason Mendoza is saddened
Bombardier beetles at home, talking about their day. Their solution to every problem is to blast them.
Angela Lansbury writing a murder plot in The Manchurian Candidate
I'm 3% chud virgin / 97% woke chad, more doomer than hopeful but not too much, more luddite than techbro (whatevs,) and 84% Davos / 16% Dubai, and my closest match is Zohran Mamdani. I find this last bit acceptable.
picture of some words
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Steven Cheung, walkin' and cryin'
Savvy Savings Online asks, Who Has The Best Car Insurance Prices in 2026? The accompanying photo is of a woman with what the kids call "milkshake tiddies" who's putting gas in her car by holding the gas pump hose in a suggestive manner. Girl, that is not gas pump best practices.
Coffin Flop Real people falling outta coffins
Superman, Jimmy, Lois, Supergirl from S3E01 My Adventures With Superman. They’re covered in white sauce up to their ears.
My list of Essential Movies to Watch With My Son. It includes Cemetery Man and Critical Care, two obscure all-time greats.
From Penn & Teller Get Killed, Teller has cut Penn’s throat. Or maybe it’s fake, who cares?