John-Paul

@jpkeates.com

1597 Followers 2962 Following

Parties like it's £19.99 Retired. British male; socially awkward. Profile Image - A bearded man in a room looks into the camera. He has a face best suited to a text description.

A blue Raleigh Grifter bicycle - Photograph from the Raleigh website.
Guardian sub headline - "England to get bank holiday if team win World Cup, Starmer expected to announce" with a picture of the England men's team celebrating a win.
A picture of some green fungus and a headline, "Inside Chernobyl a fungus has been quietly feasting on radiation". (c) information - Cladosporium sphaerospermum, cultured at the Coimbra University Hospital Centre in Portugal. (Rui Tomé/Atlas of Mycology, used with permission)
BBC Depth screenshot Dark Side of the Brazilian Butt Lift Boom.
BBC website headline "Michael Fassbender says it is becoming harder to know what to trust online" with a picture of Michael Fassbender.
Scottish saltire plus fireworks. From https://www.dreamstime.com/holiday-sky-fireworks-flag-scotland-image126292628
A can of Mr Sheen furniture polish.
Two bluey weebles for sale at https://bestori.co.uk/product/weebles-bluey-twin-figure-pack-bluey-and-chilli/
Screen shot of game play
A completely mad picture from the Guardian of a Mexican football fan wearing an astroturf poncho, sunglasses with mini world cups stuck to them and a sombrero with a football boot on it. There's more, but that's the point!
Two sheep and a small goat between them. All three are seen with their heads close together, with their bodies mostly out of shot.
A photograph of a man with the caption, "if you're white and you're my age, nobody looks out for you". From the Financial Times (I think).
A page showing Dr Manhattan from The Watchmen.
BBC News headline Chippies sell catfish as 'traditional fish supper' with a picture of fish and chips.
Guardian section headed How to have Sex to Spinal Tap II.
Picture of Peter mandelson in his underpants reading something. Image from the Hounslow Herald.
"Are you allowed to only order starters without the Landlady(Lady?) running to the press?"
The huge sculpture "Dignity of Earth and Sky". Wikipedia describes it as "an Indigenous woman in Plains-style dress receiving a star quilt"
Rowley Birkin QC
A quiz question in the Guardian in which the multiple choice answers are "New York, London, Paris, Munich."
Picture of a Guardian journalist and the strapline "Why people believe the ;Jim Carrey is a clone' theory from the Guardian website.
Photograph from the bbc news website of Victoria, David and (presumably) Brooklyn Beckham with the headline "David and Victoria Beckham wish Brooklyn happy birthday despite feud"
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor. Picture from the BBC
Liv Taylor stands in front of a Belstaff advert during London Fashion week. Photo from the Daily Telegraph.
Picture of a Beaver on the Natural History Museum website with the caption "100 beavers set to be reintroduced to the UK this year, with more to come"
A package of Dairylea Cheese Triangles (from Amazon).
A picture of three of the clangers (BBC Series) with one cut off by the edge.
Eric Den Hag holding a four colour pen.
Robert Jenrick will return in Avengers Doomsday, in the style of an Avengers Doomsday teaser trailer.
Edvard Munch: The Scream from the MOMA website.
A drawer from a filing cabinet, full of papers with an index card saying "various Ls". I downloaded this from a post on Bluesky, but didn't remember to get the name of the poster, if this is yours, please let me know.
Sign with tool silhouettes, saying "Handyman".
Map of France showing a place called "Crepy" in the North of the country.
Guardian headline ‘Rage bait’ named word of the year by Oxford University Press
Instruction leaflet headed "How to use the litter box".
Guardian sub headline "Will UK taxpayers get their £122m back from PPE Medpro?"
Prince William in the tardis
Whats app chat with Philips Hue support, using a meta system to help. The last Philips comment is “We are connecting you with a Support Ambassador who will guide you. They will utilize translation tools to chat with you in your preferred language. Kindly note, we support text messages only at this time. Thank you for choosing Philips!”
Jeremy Clarkson and a tractor.
Nodes
A cross of st george with the words everybody welcome across it.
Guardian screenshot of a picture of Kemi Badenoch saying "Doubts cast on Kemi Badenoch’s claim of US medical school offer Stanford University staff and academic experts raise questions over Tory leader’s claim of place and partial scholarship offered at 16" There's a bit of a photo og Kemi Badenoch which is (c)Stefan Rousseau/PA
Road sign showing the exit for Hull on the A1. Shutterstock image.
Road sign showing the exit for Hull on the A1. Shutterstock image.
A birthday card section labelled "Nan, Nanna, Nanny, Nana and Nannie"
The cover of Fleetwood Mac - Rumours
Guardian sub-heading saying "‘Shut it down and start again’: staff disquiet as Alan Turing Institute faces identity crisis - Whistleblower warns UK’s top AI research body in danger of collapse due to threats over funding and new direction"
Cover of Pink Floyd's wish you were here with two men shaking hands one of whom is on fire. The model in the image had died.
A colourised version of a photograph of the Bridgewater Canal empty of water in 1971. The original is (c) Bridgewater Canal Collection, Peel Archives. This version was coloured by Alan Taylor https://thelymmarchive.co.uk/archive/waterways/canal-breaches/2044118-1971-canal-breach-at-dunham?
Telegraph headline “Revealed:The worst places in England to get prostate cancer”.
A Niwaki hori hori knife and its sheath. It looks like a dagger, not a gardening tool.
A picture of John Torode from the BBC news website with the headline John Torode says allegation he used racist language upheld in MasterChef report.
The end scene of Raiders of the Lost Ark where the crate is being stored in a huge warehouse
Picture of a UK crossing guard holding a sign that resembles a lollipop, showing where their name originates.
Airwick Island Mango plug in.
Guardian sub headline “Two men jailed over theft of £4.75m gold toilet from Blenheim Palace” with a picture of a gold toilet.
From BBC News site a photograph of a Domino's Pizza lorry stuck through a garden fence.
A screen shot of Marks and Spencer's online login screen with the message "Your personal details are safe with us."
A screen shot of Marks and Spencer's online login screen with the message "Your personal details are safe with us."