J. P. Paradise

@jpparadise.bsky.social

35 Followers 40 Following

Blaming on his boots the faults of his feet. Responsible, and offering no apologies for The Other Side Of Paradise podcast of short stories and audio plays. One quarter of @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social

A bog with a log

A screenshot of an email from BBC Upload advising that they'll be airing my short audio-story this week.

BBC Upload promo stating 'We're getting featured on Upload'

A red plastic bin / basket about a third full with cheap hand fans for the audience's use. One fan is open to better illustrate the gag.

A short clip of an outdoor performance of The Legend of the Moonrakers at Hillworth Park in Devizes. A black gazebo represents the Chapman hovel. A paddling pool with some plastic ducks and a traffic cone in it represents the Crammer pond. Two men in smocks with plastic rakes are being admonished by their on-stage wives. It is all rather silly. Behind, a scattering of audience members whether they will ever recover this lost time.

A small rectangular reflecting pool surrounded on all sides by some rather lovely-looking flower boxes. At the far end is brick summer house with an almost domed tiled roof with a chimney to one side. It is reflected in the surface of the reflecting pool, everything doing its job properly. The scene is so very English.

Looking out across Studland Bay. Old Harry Rocks are to the right. Ahead, something akin to a resemblance of Mount Fuji is on the horizon, but in cloud form.

A poster advertising a performance of The Legend of the Moonrakers by the C.R.A.P. Theatre Co. Truly an utterly serious undertaking.

It is a hot day outside and almost as hot inside. Zak the black cat asleep in one of the 'caves' on his cat tree in our living room. He is on the inside, all four legs and his tail are on the outside.

Dictionary definition of 'conscious'. No.1 on the list is 'aware of one's own existence, sensations, thoughts, surroundings, etc.'

QR code link to the Grimhaven Community Radio Instagram account

A small cast-iron sign over a Victorian cast-iron urinal that reads 'Please adjust your dress before leaving'.

A 'road closed' sign that has been somewhat misappropriated and amended to read 'road f*cked'

Frodo the cat in a suspended cat bed, sitting up in such a way that it is impossible to put into words how much of a muppet he looks.

A bottle of Whiskas 'cat milk' in my fridge

A Guinness pint glass of...you guessed, Guinness (with too much head because I poured it too fast). The can from I poured said Guinness is Guinness glass adjacent.

The bucket scene from Small Prophets

The grey wagtail. This should be immediately obvious by the large amount of yellow...

Email from Google stating the clothing removing app violates their policies.

A screenshot of an ad from YouTube for an app that suggests it can 'undress' images.

Street nameplate reading Cuckoo's Knob...stop smirking!

Close up of evil duck

Religious banner of some holy chap either pushing an arrow into, or pulling it out of what looks like a fawn that he is cradling.

A small table on which sits a podmic with pop filter and a sound blocker barrier behind, and a small laptop and headphones.
In the background it is clearly a spare bedroom with a cat tower visible on the left, because that's the kind of high-tech, professional operation I run.

Article from March 2025 highlighting problems recruiting and retaining staff in the US shipbuilding industry.

An email advising that my short monologue Lads On Tour is to be aired again on local BBC Upload.

Email from saying that 'In A Perfect World' has been selected for airing on our local BBC Upload programme.

A screenshot of the thesaurus app's synonyms for matriarch. Every suggestion is male.

A screenshot from my MacBook's thesaurus. In the search box in the top right, I have entered the word 'matriarch'. On the left it says 'Did you mean?' and underneath suggests 'patriarch'. The rest of the page is dedicated to a definition of patriarch. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Sound proof boards behind a small table upon which sits a podcast mic, a laptop and headphones and iPad with script.

BBC Upload slogan 'We're getting featured on Upload'

BBC Upload blurb saying 'I'm getting featured on Upload'.

A screengrab of a couple of regional articles from BBC News webpage. First article is about 'Dogs being used to stop sewage entering rivers'. Immediately below that is a link to another article titled 'Team effort to rescue dog stuck in pipe'.

BBC banner saying 'I'm getting featured on Upload bbc.co.uk/upload

Poster advertising an open day at Whitefriars Sailing Club, Saturday 5th July, 11am to 3pm.

A text poster for a forthcoming short theatrical production at The Crammer in Devizes; The Legend Of The Moonrakers. The flippant, irreverent nature of the photo suggests that it will not be a serious dramatic work.

A speedboat on a beach...with a retractable wheel at the front and two at the rear. It can use these to manoeuvre on land and drive itself into the sea. When it is deep enough that it floats, the wheels rise clear of the water and the boat is once more a boat again.

Photo of an ad for Mamma Rosa's Pizza and Burger', proudly declaring 'Elected the 9th best pizza in Ireland in 2024'.

An idiot leaning on a sign saying 'Potato Vending Machine' with a red arrow indicating where said vending machine may be found.

Text from the Scratch Theatre website announcing that I've won their recent script-writing competition in rather gushing terms that make me blush. Just hope it lives up to the hype.

A panoramic view looking north from Bratton Camp, Wiltshire. White Horse Hill on the left

Guys in white boiler suits hunched over keyboards and drums in a misty haze whilst green and blue lightbeams flick across the stage.

A beach stretching off into the distance. In the foreground, three security fence panels formed in a triangle around a bare patch of sand. On one panel is a sign warning: danger, rockfalls. There is not a rock in sight.