Kate Johnson

@k8johnsonauthor.bsky.social

725 Followers 225 Following

Writes books. Loves cats. Talks about both a lot. Represented by Judith Murray at Greene & Heaton

A fat brown mouse sits on the wooden floor on my living room. It’s in front of a footstool and a curtain, from which it presumably emerged.
Tomkin is black and white cat sitting loaf style on a duvet that is partly buttoned. The duvet is multicolour with red and black and floral designs. Tom is looking very smug.
Me, a white woman with blondish hair in pigtails, sunglasses and a cream and brown spotted dress.
Tomkin is a black and white cat. Mostly black. He is sprawled across my lap as i wear a pale cream dress with brown spots.
Tomkin is a black and white cat, drinking delicately out of a scummy dish of green-black water in a parched garden. The dish was put there a decade or so ago by my mum, who worried that the birds might be thirsty, and it hasn’t been cleaned since.
All caps text that reads DINOSAURS. FLUFFY DINOSAURS
Tomkin is a black and white cat lying on his back on a pile of fleecy blankets. He’s curled around to the side with back legs akimbo and front legs waving above his head. He looks very silly and very soft and very cute.
A long rectangular plastic box containing four plant pots with smaller plants, and two larger plastic cauldrons filled with larger trumpet pitchers, sitting on a very wet plastic garden table. All the containers are very full of water, completely covering the soil and water logging the plants.
Me, a white woman with blonde hair pushed back by sunglasses. I have on a pink dress with a toile de jouy style print featuring naked women, and a necklace depicting a human heart.
Back of a pink iPhone 17 with a clear case on it. On the case are three stickers: a small heart-shaped ace flag, a picture of two dinosaurs with the caption ‘allysaurus’, and the words ‘Trans rights are human rights’ in the colors of the Trans flag.
Screenshot of my phone lock screen, which is enchanted to show the weather Apple thinks I’m having. This is grey, with rain, and an impressive streak of lightning.
Screencap of my WhatsApp conversation with the Next.co.uk chatbot about their failure to send me a password reset link. Text as follows: Next Customer Service [Al] If your password reset email has not arrived, please check your Junk or Spam folder to ensure it has not been filtered there. • If you still cannot find the email, please contact our customer support for further assistance. You can find contact options on our support page. Me: That's what I'm doing [Al] Is there anything else we can do to help you with your password reset? Me: Doesn't look like it does it [Al] I appreciate how frustrating this must be. If you need any help with resetting your password, please let us know. Me: I am letting you know [Al] I'm sorry to hear your password reset email has not arrived. Please check your Junk or Spam folder to ensure it hasn't been filtered there. • If you still cannot find the email, please contact our advisor for further assistance. You can find contact options on our support page. Me: You said to contact you, so l am contacting you [Al] How may I assist you today? Me: This is me contacting you
Etsy’s search suggestion is “custom ammo case”
Tomkin is a black and white cat. He is sitting on my lap. The photo is taken by me looking down at him, so in the foreground is my dark blue top, covered in cat hair. Behind him you can see my pale white legs stretched out to rest on the table.
The weather station showing the time as 13:31 and the indoor temperature as 24.1°c, and the outdoor temp and rain levels are just a row of blanks, because it’s too fucking hot and dry to work any more.
A digital weather station with the display reading: Time: 12:09 In: 23.6°c Out 51.0°c Rain: 0.0mm
Fridgey is an air conditioning unit about two feet tall, made of white plastic. Across the image are the words “I’m in love” in blue text
A portable air conditioning unit: about one foot square at the base and two feet tall, in white plastic.
Screencap of the weather app on my phone. In summary it shows that the next week will range from 23° to 30°. Which is hideous.
A view over the Tower of London and Tower Bridge, both lit up against the dark sky.
Selfie of me, a white woman with blonde hair, wearing a dark green tshirt with “not friendly” written on it in gothic script
Slim Shady is (the nickname I have given to) a large black and white cat, seen here sitting in front of a garden hedge.
Valentina from RuPaul’s Drag Race, dressed in red with a red mask over her lower face, dramatic lashes and a red flower in her hair. The caption (in response to Ru asking her to take the mask off, says “I’d like to keep it on please.”
Screencap showing the BBC News app results of the Essex County Council Elections: the map of Essex a horrid pale blue and the banner news: Reform UK gain from Conservatives
Selfie of me, a white woman with blonde hair and glasses, holding up a poll card. In the background is a polling station in a church hall
Screencap of my Sky bill, which says: Sky Sports HD Subscription Discounted: -£4.00 • Offer end date: 6th August 2107
Tom is a black and white cat curled on his side on a fleecy blanket. He wears no collar, because he is a nameless rebel.
Tom is a black and white cat standing in front of a brown leather sofa with several of its cushions pulled off. He is looking back at the camera with wide-eyed reproachment.
Your choice of titles: unsurprisingly no gender neutral ones. Title (optional) Please select an option... Mr Mrs Miss Ms Dr Prof Rev Sir Dame I could be a sir or a dame but not a lady. See next slide for my choice
A reform party leaflet. You don’t want to read what it actually says do you? Okay, here it is with my annotations in backers REFORM UK WILL FIX BROKEN BRITAIN (NO YOU FUCKING WON’T YOU GRIFTER) (this refers to the cunt in chief of the party, on whom I’ve drawn devil horns and a beard, fuck I should’ve done a Shitler moustache 1 TACKLE THE COST OF CRISIS (HOW) 2 STOP ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION (IT ISN’T ILLEGAL TO SEEK ASLYUM) 3 CUT ENERGY BILLS BY SCRAPPING NET ZERO (BECAUSE FUCK THE CLIMATE) 4 END LAWLESSNESS ON OUR STREETS (WHAT LAWLESSNESS) 5 PUT THE BRITISH PEOPLE FIRST (AS OPPOSED TO...) Under that there is a QR CODE (see next post) ESSEX IS BROKEN. (NO IT ISN’T) VOTE REFORMUK ON 7TH MAY (NO I WONT. FUCK OFF. )
A black and white cat against a grass and conifer background.
A black and white cat against a background of grass and conifers. It’s a blurry picture taken through a window into a dark garden, cos it runs away when I open the window!
Two black and white cats sitting on a wooden floor
A still of Josh & Cher from Clueless, with the caption “Some people are not lucky nough to be as naturally adorable as you are.”
Tomkin is a black-and-white cat curled up against my leg. He has his little white fluffy paws draped over my hand and his nose snuggled up against my wrist.
A piece of black plastic piping about the size of my thumb. The top of it has a small kink in the top, bending it by a couple of degrees.
I’m a white woman with my mid-length hair dyed red underneath but still blonde on top.
My hand holding a jar of Manic Panic hair dye in Pillarbox Red
Tomkin, a black and white cat, on his many layered current favourite bed: a sofa, 24in cushion, fleecy warming blanket, second warming blanket folded over, fleece-backed fake fur blanket folded into six.
Tomkin, a black and white cat, is curled asleep on a folded fluffy blanket. The blanket, incidentally, is on top of two other blankets and a cushion. On the sofa. Princess? Pea?
Screencap of betting information about a horse called Gorgeous Tom (text as follows) 24 Gorgeous Tom J: Sean Flanagan T: Henry de Bromhead, Ireland More information
My leg, foot up on the windowsill, with one pink trainer and the edge of denim shorts visible. My leg is white. Really fucking white. If I hid in a snow drift, the snow would look dark.
Me, a white woman, looking very very white. I have on red lipstick and it’s definitely giving “My, that neck would be so pretty if you only removed that crucifix…”
A brown leather sofa with a beige furry blanket piled on it. Billy, a black and white cat, is curled luxuriantly on it.
Screenshot of an email from HMRC. The time and date is circled in red: 6 Apr 2026 at 01:00
Tom, a black and white cat, is sitting with his bum on the chair arm and his front paws on my leg. Behind him, mostly blocked from my view, is my kindle and iPad.
Two black and white cats: one sitting in a corner between two sofas, the other half hidden behind one of the sofas. Both are staring at something we cannot see.
Four vases of flowers, with congratulatory cards, on a large coffee table
Image in the anime style of K-Pop Demon Hunters after their Oscar win: three people with expressions of delight and surprise. On the left is a woman dressed as a maid in green and silver. In the centre is a woman in dark clothing, carrying a glowing purple jewel. On the right is a tall man in green and silver livery, holding a sword. The text reads The Promised Queen, shortlisted for the Romantasy novel of the year.
A tiny eight week old tan cockerpoo puppy, sitting up with its head tilted in adorably confused manner. (This is not my neighbour’s puppy cos I didn’t take a photo, but it’s very similar and just as cute.)
A wooden table with white water marks staining it
Billy, a black and white cat, is curled up on a fleecy hanging bed which is propped on a dining chair back.
Screencap of order confirmation, including “Arrives by Express Delivery 30 Mar - 8 Apr by Express Delivery”
Tomkin is a black and white cat lounging adorably but not very helpfully on a desk covered in files and paperwork. My dad’s elbow is just visible on the right hand edge of the photo.
Hand drawn illustration of a man and woman in Regency clothing. He’s lying on the ground, head in her lap, while she cradles his head tenderly. This is because he’s just been shot in the right arm and his shirt has been torn open at the chest and sleeve to reveal this. There’s blood everywhere. She’s very pale skinned with pale blonde hair, wearing a striped green and blue dress, blue cloak, gloves and bonnet. He is Latino, with untidy dark hair, wearing buff trousers and a formerly white shirt. Behind them are some stone ruins and a pretty pink sunrise.
A cast photo with Sarah Michelle Gellar… and Nicholas Brendon, Allyson Hannigan, Anthony Stewart Head, and Charisma Carpenter. For those of you not fans of 90s teen angst, this is the cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
A kitchen table with four plastic trays containing a tangle of browning pitcher plants
A spam text that says “Mum, it’s my new number”