KalansPhantom 💜🏴‍☠️🔞

@kalansphantomff.bsky.social

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Pfp and banner by self-induljennt A little insane, a little chaotic, the horny half of Hingeless and Horny. 3.5 Million words and counting of gay pirates on A03 https://archiveofourown.org/users/KalansPhantom/works

Ed was a bundle of fucking nerves as he drove through the city with his precious cargo. Like, okay, he knew the idea was easy. He got to Pride, texted Lucius and Stede’s people would pick up the kids to join them for Pride. Easy peasy, pudding and fucking pie. The reality was he was completely responsible for two whole ass human lives and one dog that was currently sitting in his passenger seat with two paws draped out of the window and his entire upper body jammed outside of the Jeep with his floppy ear and tongue blowing in the wind. “Steve! C’mon, man, you’re gonna eat a bug!” Ed protested as he turned down a roadway and sped up only to see Steve lift his head up higher, jaws open wide as if he were inviting that horrific fate. “I’d eat a bug!” Louis chimed in and squirmed in his car seat. “Can I eat one, Ed?! I can stick my head out!” “Uh, nope, no we are not doing that, buddy.” Ed glanced up in the rearview mirror with a grin for the kid. “Only dogs get to eat bugs.” Steve huffed and jerked his head back into the Jeep to give Ed a look that appeared affronted. “Hey, don’t look at me like that, I’m not the one courting buggy disaster, mate.” Steve sneezed and then stuffed his head right back out again, his rainbow colored tail wagging back and forth as a few cars honked in their direction. Ed was pretty sure some people had taken pictures. Not that he blamed him. Now that they were driving towards downtown he could see people walking dogs that were normal size and it was driven home just how big Steve was. It took him a bit to find parking, but he managed to snag a space that wasn’t too far from the park where Pride was happening. He’d be taking the kids home with him later, so he wanted to make sure it was a walk that tired little legs could make with ease. The moment he put the Jeep in park Louis began to try and get his way free while Alma popped out of the door. “Wait, hold up, Bonnetlings!” He yelped, opening his own door before
A tiny Stede in a salmon jacket riding on top of a calico cat like she's a horse.