Kris Ripper (ze/zir)

@krisripper.bsky.social

951 Followers 155 Following

I write books.

Picture of my adorable puppy lying on his back, white fur, loads of face freckles, Stephen King's It harness, totally passed out... sprawled across my leg.
Screenshot of the results: 79. Mel Gibson
Pickup with hand-lettered sign that says "Eat your heart out WOKIES" "ARE you ready cat lady" and "MAGA-2025" as well as a sticker with a rainbow at the top which appears to be raining colors down on a presumably terrified straight family, in which the man and woman are hiding their children from the rainbow under an umbrella. 😂😂😂 Tbh, this is actually how I imagine a lot of straight people so.
Wildly sex-negative and slut-shaming lyrics sung by the actual literal child Michael Jackson: Isaac said he kissed you Beneath the apple tree When Benji held your hand he felt Electricity When Alexander called you He said he rang your chime Christopher discovered You're way ahead of your time Genius.com annotation that blew my goddamn mind: I don’t know where MJ was going to grade school, but his classmates apparently included such famous historical figures as Isaac Newton (who legendarily was inspired to develop his theory of gravity after watching an apple fall from a tree), Benjamin Franklin (who, among his many other accomplishments, performed extensive experiments with electricity), Alexander Graham Bell (inventor of the telephone), and Christopher Columbus (supposed “discoverer” of the Americas). Y'all. WHAT.
New covers on some books, please note the handcuffs and ball gag (they're easy to miss, so chalk up another alt text win!). All now available in Kindle Unlimited!
I'm user 666,475. That's amusing.
Image of a text: "It's spelled with a uxt which I didn't know was even possible"