teabiscuit

@ktwiegman.bsky.social

585 Followers 244 Following

Trixie Biscuit, L.A. Derby Dolls announcer, Maximum Fun Media Co-op Worker-Owner, Dog Guy, Pedant. Trans rights (she/her) #GKG

It's a great big St Bernard, personal whatnots present but not pictured
The Stanley Cup, filled with Nerds Clusters, with the caption JARVY'S BATHROOM GOT AN UPGRADE
Acosta said she doesn’t want to park in the parking lots because they’re “always full,” and the side streets are off limits, too, because “there’s like a hundred signs, so then you have no fucking idea and you get a fucking ticket and you can’t fight it because there are a thousand signs.”
An air quality map of the upper Midwest to East Coast of the U.S. Zones are labeled HAZARDOUS!, UNHEALTHY FOR ALL, UNHEALTHY FOR SOME, and SMELLABLE
Under an incomprehensible doodle, someone has written on the sidewalk in blue paint pen BIG TITS
From Wikipedia: Personal life Dundon is married to Veruschka Tiller; they have five children and live in Dallas, Texas. After the 2026 Stanley Cup Final win, Dundon had members of his family including the family dog "Dax", at the top of the team's engraving instead of including other staff member's names.
A St. Bernard on a white blanket on a couch (and on me, not visible under the blanket). One jowl is draped extravagantly over his left front paw.
A 15-year-old grizzled terrier mutt sleeps in peace on a wrecked dog bed
Photo of a protest. A cardboard sign in the foreground is partially obscured by a graphic added by The Guardian, resulting in the apparent message JEWS SAY NOT IN THE GUARDIAN OPINIONS
A bus with an ad reading "Veronica's Insurance: You KNOW what I mean". Veronica is pictured twice, once with a German shepherd.
Me on a bus looking sweaty and dumb
Two losers and their girlfriends stayed after the game their team lost in a humiliating shout-out in order to appear on international television wearing special custom white hoodies to celebrate a rapist
Carter Hart crying. Fuck that guy
Two men in black velvet jackets (Mark Messier and P.K. Subban at the 2nd period break in game 6 of the Stanley Cup final), alike in dignity but not in breadth
P.K. Subban wearing a black velvet suit with just outrageous shoulder pads
screenshot of Google Maps, in which a pop up message urges me to "Check out Dua Lipa's Los Angeles list on Google Maps"
Close crop of the dog's face from the Beef Organs whiteboard
A sign styled after L.A.'s I VOTED sticker points the way to the polling place. Resting underneath, on fake turf, is a Ziploc containing a sandwich and some lookse pretzels. SOmeone has used blue marker to label the Ziploc FREE TURKEY
A clear glass canning jar full of liquid the color Pantone would call Neon Piss, if Pantone only had the range
A smiling woman revels in the sensation of throwing shit out of her closet, I guess. Text reads: Start Selling for Free. Feel the "ahh" of a clear closet--minuns the seller fees.
Close-up of Mike's short, a can or bag or something labeled NEVER GIVE UP
An American Kennel Club Championship Certificate, awarded to Southern Giants Hoist The Cup CD BN RE FDC CGCA CGCU TKN, who is a big handsome doofus of a Saint Bernard and is sitting behind his certificate
1970's French Brutalist Oak Coffee Table w/Magazine Holder, $1450. It looks like a plain wood rectangular coffee table, only part of the top is missing and has been replaced by three swags of leather, presumably meant to hold magazines.
Hitler Has Only Got One Ball For the theories about Adolf Hitler's testicles, see "Possible monorchism of Adolf Hitler."
Stanley the St. Bernard wearing a natural cotton visor with a blue brim. The visor has the Maximum Fun rocket logo embroidered on it. This and other gifts can be yours when you join or upgrade during the MaxFunDrive and support the podcasts you love
A smiling woman in a swimsuit. The suit s color-blocked in purple and turquoise with black side panels. The cups have a medial downward-slanting triangle of purple, next to a block of turquoise, topped with a downward-slanting stripe of pink. The whole effect is to make her torso look like an angry (or at least disapproving) cartoon character.
A stunning brown tabby reclines, squinting. All four paws are up cutely.
Two seafoam green cubes under a whiteboard reading OTTOMANS 2 AVAILABLE 50 EACH $95. The listing title is "Soft stools"
Close-up of what I assume is Jesus's stepdad in the background, looking like he's not buying this jacked infant any more than he bought the virgin birth thing
balding man wearing a vest marked POLICE ICE spending his one wild and precious life being ignored by travelers as he unnecessarily instrusts them how to exit an escalator
Demi Moore wearing an explosion of big black feathers
Secretary Gift Awards: Let your secretary know how much you appreciate him/her with our secretary gift collection. Each of the products in this category can be custom engraved with the message of your choice to let your secretary know how much you appreciate his/her assistance and devotion to you. [Products are all clear acrylic bullshit in a variety of shapes. There are 10 pages of this crap.]
An empty bottle of Torani vanilla syrup on a sidewalk in DTLA
Stains the dog (from It's Me or the Dog) stares in an agony of desire at a plate of cupcakes
Care instructions affixed to the underside of a vintage Formica table offer IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR KOROK TOP, including: Don't use KOROK As A Cutting Board, Don't Let Sharp-Edged Objects Strike KOROK, and Don't Clamp A Meat Grinder On KOROK
Teeny red knit antifascist hat
This is a screenshot of a "related stories" link from I think it was the Olympics website. It says YOU MAY LIKE and there's a pic of Carl Lewis with text reading (a presumably documentary title) I'M CARL LEWIS! Under that it says CARL LEWIS I'm Carl Lewis! I'M CARL LEWIS! I regret not just linking to the first time I posted this, where I'd previously written alt text, but it felt awkward and self-promotional.
Crop of the third photo, highlighting the cat looking up wide-eyed at the duck. A round mirror behind the duck provides a serendipitous halo
Two red knit Melt the ICE hats, one normal size and one mini
Bad Bunny holds a football to camera at the end of his Super Bowl halftime show. The football bears the words TOGETHER WE ARE AMERICA. The football is positioned perfectly to replace Bad Bunny's head on his shoulders and there's a flag or something behind him that looks like a party hat
A Cybertruck, parked, with the CA license plate GOT⭐RIZ. I got a good look at the driver as he stopped in the lot to suspiciously watch me snap his car, and Reader: he did not
Big pink dead fish on ice in the Whole Foods fish counter. A sign reads: "Whole Red Snapper, $16.99"
ICE out of KTown: report ICE sightings & get help: 213 444 6562
From craigslist: "mermaid living room coffee table glass oval coffee table - $275". The base of the table is swoopy shiny dark red plastic that kind of looks like a tongue. The table top is clear oval glass. The effect is unsettling
A big squishy St. Bernard on a big squishy dog bed
r/Ask reddit thread: What's the funniest name you've heard for a pet? First good response: "Work in a veterinary practice best I've heard is FIFI SUGAR TITS. A lil powder puff chinse crested!" Second good response: "My friend was waiting with her dog at the vet, and someone else brought their dog in. As they checked in she happened to overhear that the dog's name was Pizza Party" I would like to meet a dog named Pizza Party.
Two delectable deep dish pizzas just out of the oven
Two homemade deep dish pizzas, unbaked but ready for the oven
Aryan
Reddit post in r/pettyrevenge by u/Fresh_Nectarine_867 I ate a bag of 'rich mans nut' so my boss would stop coming into my office and eating the 'rich mans nuts' Its the holiays so the company i work for gets a lot of gift baskets from our clients and vendors. I work in a department that because of the work we do we rarely get gifts and treats unless one of the other departments shares their gifts with us. Thankfully someone shared a couple of baskets with nuts, candies, crackers, ect. The VP has been coming into our office almost every day to pick from our gift baskets. He doesnt do this to any of the other departments, and i have seen him get a couple of baskets himself and never shared them. We had an unopened basket and he opened it, then chose the most expensive item (a bag of pistachios) and ripped into it stealing some of our pistachios. Then said "i love the rich mans nut". This man makes 5 times what I do, when the opportunity came for him to fight for raises for us he didnt, and now he is coming into our office and stealing our gifts and eating our rich man nuts. This cannot continue. I decided that i am going to eat every single pistachio. I dont particularly like pistachios or nuts, but I am not gunna let him come in here and steal my rich man nut, im gunna eat them all to myself and enjoy every single last minute of it. I have eaten 4 sleeves of nuts, the basket is now empty, my body doesnt feel good but my pride is intact knowing that I am full of rich man nut, while he cannot take any more.
Sachertorte
Graffiti in white on a red brick wall reads LOVE YOUR'S with a heart
An old fat lady sitting on a bus looking like a drowned rat
A Yelp search for "bandages" with a map and a helpful text box that read, "Showing results for bondage"
A red and brown tabby cat loafs defensively at the head of a bed. The back of a big doofus dog head dominates the foreground.
Half-gallon water cooler with a sparkly silver vinyl STANLEY logo sticker on. A St. Bernard naps floppily in the background
Light blue Yeti cup sitting on a Cricut Maker 4, sporting a fresh-cut bootleg L.A. Kings sticker
Two drinks covers at Daiso. Left one: penguin holding a star over the caption STRAIGHT FEELINGS. Right one: panda holding a star over the caption WHIMSICAL FEELING
Indiana Jones on the bridge (?) at the end of Temple of Doom (?). Some idiot added a caption so it looks like he's saying "WOOOOO!"