Lain Kaplan, Mouthy Jewess 🏳️‍🌈💗🏳️‍⚧️

@lainkaplan.bsky.social

1494 Followers 522 Following

Level 40+ linguist and trans woman. She/her. Interests: Judaism, human rights, LGBTQ joy, MTG, comics, language, fashion, feminism. Getting back into racing shape. Fash begone.🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🪬🇵🇸 Black Trans Lives Matter.

Lain in a pink Pusheen tee and cat ear headphones walking out of the gym.

Left: Study time, A girl with pink hair and pigtails and a white t-shirt yawns and drools while avoiding homework, mentally vacant.
Right: Yuri time, the same girl is awake, mentally alert, composed, and raises a finger in critical discussion. Surely she has made an incisive comment elucidating the truth.

22501 steps. 16.55 km. One tired Lain.

June 4, 2027, a new set, Kamigawa: Titanbreach is happening!

Threads post:
“Name another individual (besides Jesus) that has had a bigger influence on the world.
Me: Marx? The people who created the wheel? The people who developed agriculture?
That Guy: All of which happened long after Jesus was born and left the earth.
Me: … are you for real? Agriculture was developed like 7000 years ago or something.

Today is International Non-Binary People’s Day! It’s a day where people who are non-binary are seen and appreciated for who we are and how we navigate life. Let’s talk about that for a second.

I often describe experiencing being non-binary like being an old solid state hard drive. Back in the day you used to have to run a program to defragment it, moving around parts of the RAM and storage to put things in a logical, easily accessible place, because fragments are made any time you move stuff around. Move enough stuff and the fragments congeal together and eat up room. You clean that up by organizing things.

Well, my defrag program doesn’t do that well, and in the process of changing my neurochemistry and brain functioning over from the old body to the new one, there are some sectors of the drive that just don’t move. I still function, but there are old patterns and things that haven’t entirely changed. I operate as a woman in 98 percent of daily stuff, but I still see mental code and habits from the before times that I have just kept. And that’s ok.

My other way of talking about it is that I am 100 percent authentic woman, ten to fifteen percent guy depending on the day, and 200 percent fuck you, I didn’t sign up for a lecture on mathematics, skip me with that pedantic shit. Yes, I break the scale. I am just more aware and critical of gender than some of you folks and if you can’t handle it, get out of my way.

Lain gassed after about 45 minutes of machines. But she did the thing.

I tell him IDC what AI says and mock him, and he says do your own research and also ad hominem arguments do not convince him.

This putz says Jews denied their king, and the Quran makes Muslims real Jews and Jews are bad Christians who deny Jesus’s

I tell him that is not even remotely true and humans being worshipped as deities is idolatry

Threads user LLCoolscharf:
In case y’all still don’t know the difference -

A Bar Mitzvah is when a boy becomes a man
A Bat Mitzvah is when a boy becomes a Batman.

A bunch of trans, queer, and Philly related stickers

The aforementioned swag

Threads user Monarchist By Grace (there’s a real winner of a handle) writes:

Have you ever read Isaiah 9:6? How about Isaiah 53? Who was Isaiah talking about?

I heard from a Rabbi here in Houston that Isaiah 53 is never read in the synagogue. Why?
—

I respond with

Every version of the Tanakh includes it and we do discuss it in Oral Torah.
It is not part of the typical parsha read during services. Most of the text isn’t. The annual cycle comes from reading the Pentateuch. Isaiah isn’t in that. Neither are the Psalms.

You’re just here to say conspiracy bullshit about Jews hating Jesus. We hate Jesus as much as you hate Brahma, Chang’i, Osiris, or Thor. We don’t care who they are, they are other people’s concepts, they are irrelevant to us.

Lain in a white color block top.

Kara at the booth meeting a line of public, that she specifically asked to come court her because Jimmy told her that she deserved better than him and had to experience more in the world. The adults have gifts or courting tools.

A statue of a beleaguered woman appears to have disappointment from what the phone in front of it displays.

Lain did 24.2 k steps, 16.5 km.

Lain with simple makeup and a light pink tee.

Lain after machines but before cardio.

A diesel workhorse on a lower track, Big Boy 4014 heading over top. Trans people helped make it happen.

Lain this morning. She is doing as much cardio now as two years ago, but had some setbacks since then.

The title drop to Kurt Busiek’s Astro City, vol. 3, issue 16, “wish I may”. A high school football game is interrupted by a local “mad scientist” who issues a challenge to the local superhero then ruins a tough down attempt by the home team.

A sign by a highway that reads “whoremongers and all liars (divorce, television) shall have there part in the lake of fire, revelation 21:8”

The use of there as opposed to their is intentional.

Lain in a mesh top and bra, with a hamsa necklace, and a white skirt.

Lain with a brass hamsa necklace.

Homestar Runner (ostensibly) holding a Pride flag says (in his speech manner) “Happy Pride month, my gay caballeros, shout out to all my fella El-Gibbitys!”
Strong Bad grumpily retorts, “It’s LGBT, Dorkback Mountain!”
Homestar replies annoyedly, “I know how to spell El-Gibbity, Strong Bad”

Lain, no makeup, fuzzy, forgetful. But she did the work.

27k steps, 17 km (a bit more than ten miles)

Shadow Yukiko in Persona 4 calls out a gleaming “IT’S SYMBOLIC” then caws loudly. Pain in the ass boss if you ask me.

Lain in a tank top and pink leggings at the gym, she is sweating hard after her workout.

Taking a photo with the spaceman.

A board of many many dread cards face down. My opponent keeps trying to flicker them, but my red Shrine just lets me shoot their target before it resolves.

This canny girl throws me.

Lain smiling in a black dress with a popped white collar.

Karlach is going into the fridge, and Shart is pissed because of a TPK, but she is wearing magenta kitty krakens, which I think is a pretty strict upgrade on the pink ones. And they go with the arm warmers. But look, they live together! Canon lesbians!

Modern day Shadowheart lying on the sofa playing PS5 BG3 while being held in the arms of Karlach. So jealous of Shart right now.
Honestly, Shart as goth e-girl is a really good look for her. Biker Karlach is great and all, but I prefer her camp look.

Lain’s Karlach ink.

Cards for a Karlach, Fury of Avernus deck.

The skirt in question, a white basic skirt.

Tropical 400, Liliana 100, JP zodiacs 100, I have S and T Chinese as well, Mirror 250, Crypt 80, ancestral is 2800

Unitarian Universalist. Thank god.

Venmo @Lain-Kaplan-4

270$ for one month HRT, JFC

Yiddish phrase Gai kaken ofen yahm, with a photo of the shore.
This phrase is best translated as go fuck yourself. Literally, it means go take a shit in an ocean. A fundamentally useless action. But the fucking temple tantrum bullshit you posted is actively worse than coastal defecation, so really, I’m being nice about it.

A rose with trans colors with “this body is a prison no longer”

An autocomplete for Google search has the first entry “juniper blessing real name”. For fuck’s sake.

Any definition of antisemitism that isn’t centered in Jewish life experiences and how that hate impacts them is inevitably framed in a way to cover the definer’s ass.

I wrote this in 2019z

A man dials on his phone for the golem.