maimonides nutz

@maimonidesnutz.bsky.social

3718 Followers 109 Following

Maimonides, as in the 12th Century Jewish philosopher - and Nutz as in “Deez Nutz.” (I’m not Maimonides but I’m definitely Nutz) she/her

A screenshot of the ThriftBooks app and a picture of the cover of The Care & Keeping of You by Valorie Schaefer under the headline “Great Series to Binge-Read”
The Christian Difference THOUGH PRAYER CAN BE FOUND in all the great religious traditions, there is something unique about Christian prayer-namely, that we address God as our Father. If Christians were to speak to God in an undifferentiated way, then we would not be praying in a manner different
heyalma As a Sexual Assault Survivor, I Find Comfort In This Biblical Text The Book of Lamentations, which is read on the mournful holiday of Tisha B'av, offers an entryway into understanding this irreversible trauma.
Cincoflex @cincoflex.bsky.social Fewer, not less
A long rectangular box that is opened to reveal many long silver poles and some sort of pump that is covered in a net. There are also a few informational pamphlets written in small faded font on well-aged thin paper
A picture of a man with overstuffed bookshelves and the headline “He Was Evicted For Having Too Many Books”
Image of a rectangular bar divided into eight sections, each bar is color coded to go from white to light pink to a dark red. The label at the top says “the R’Yochanan scale” and the line below it says “how is your suffering today?” The left of the bar (white) is labeled “not welcome,” the middle of the bar (mid pink) is labeled “N/A,” and the right of the bar (dark red) is labeled “dear.” Underneath the bar is the context — the story from the Talmud: Rabbi Ḥiyya bar Abba, fell ill. Rabbi Yoḥanan came to visit him, he said: “Is your suffering dear to you?“ Rabbi Ḥiyya said: “I welcome neither this suffering nor its reward.” Rabbi Yoḥanan said: “Give me your hand.” Rabbi Ḥiyya gave him his hand, and Rabbi Yoḥanan stood him up (healed him). (Berakhot 5b)
meme of a guy in a blue shirt who has photoshopped another picture of himself holding a gun behind his back. The text at the top says “trust nobody not even your” and then in another font it says “limbic system” a diagram of the structure of the brain’s limbic system has been added on top of the version of the guy who is holding the gun
a picture of Chandler Bing from Friends holding a coffee cup and the text below him has been modified to say “I have more psychological breakthroughs before 9am than most people have all their life.”
Picture of woman in clerical wear with the caption: FEMALE PASTOR ARRESTED. AFTER GETTING CAUGHT GIVING ORAL S*X ON MEN TO SUCK OUT THEIR DEMONS
Picture of the cover of the children’s book “grandfather twilight” by Barbara Berger. (A window in the middle of a forest looking in on an eerily glowing old man and his German shepherd)
a picture of a Diet Coke on a plain white background and the text above it says “this and a” The text below it says: “regularly functioning amygdala”
When Reish Lakish would introduce his discussion of the Torah passage of sota he would say this: Heaven matches a woman to a man only according to his actions, as it is stated: "For the rod of wickedness shall not rest upon the lot of the righteous" (Psalms 125:3),
A scan of a brain that is labeled “healthy brain”
Two brain scans. The one on the left is labeled “ptsd” and the one on the right is labeled “no ptsd.” The one on the left (ptsd) is lit up in more places and with warmer colors.
Also now looking thru your photos i can perceive the dry husk. Its emotive. I wonder
screenshot from Instagram highlight “no context Nutz”: “My child is fine” “your child has set her phone background as a picture of Mustafa Kemal Atatürk, the founder of the modern day republic of Turkey" And a picture of a young man dressed in military garb
Jeremiah 20 Accursed be the man Who brought my father the news And said, "A boy Is born to you," And gave him such joy! Let that man become like the cities That GOD overthrew without relenting! Let him hear shrieks in the morning And battle shouts at noontide-
Urban Outfitters listing for “Fabric Chain Linked Doorway Curtain” Picture of a paper chain in a doorway $69.30 “LIMITED TIME ONLY”
An Etsy listing for a frame with a picture of a wall and a child’s handprint, it says “TISHA B'AV Alas! Lonely sits the city Once great with people!” The text underneath says “$0.74 $0.99 25% off • Limited time sale Tisha B'av Handprint Art, Handprint Craft, Jewish Art, Hebrew Learning, Jewish Kids Activity, Judaica Art, Tisha Bav, Eicha, Lamentations Duchess Boutique Gifts”
[2:4] The Master said: "At fifteen my heart was set on learning; at thirty I stood firm; at forty I was unperturbed; at fifty I knew the mandate of heaven; at sixty my ear was obedient; at seventy I could follow my heart's desire without transgressing the norm."
An Etsy listing for a digital download of a “Tisha B’Av coloring book” — the title of the book is “Megillah of Eichah: Story and Coloring Pages Educational Activity for the 9th of Av ANGELA BRAHA A journey of reading and creativity, Ideal for engaging children in a constructive activity during the fast.”
A redbubble listing for a sticker: a pale yellow rectangle with a shofar covered in sunflowers and wine mom script text that says: “May your Fall Feasts be filled with blessings and Shalom J Clarion Creation [?]” The title of the listing is “Great way to celebrate t...”
A screenshot of a Gmail inbox that has been indexed to show all emails from “Wood Prairie Family Farm” spanning every four days to a week between May and June
Picture of selfie of guy with backwards hat looking solemn with the text “after losing my mind for 6 hours i decided it's actually not that big of a deal”
Text at the top says “king david: ‘horses can’t bring you closer to God’” below the text is a picture of a horse on a white background. The horse is surrounded by bits of text that say: “bro,” “broo,” “now why am i in this?” “wow,” “i didn’t want to bring you anywhere in the first place smh”
Picture of a sunflower yelling next to the caption: Jewish Thinkpieces: the biggest THREAT to the JEWISH PEOPLE is INTERMARRIAGE and therefore we must invest ALL OUR RESOURCES into MAKING JEWISH BABIES Picture of a sunflower blushing with the caption: Resources on the Yichud Room: this is the part where whole wedding stops so that the bride and groom can spend "symbolic" time alone together and "exchange private gifts". ...how nice
Psalms 33 horses are a false hope for deliverance; for all their great power they provide no escape.
Psalms 33 horses are a false hope for deliverance; for all their great power they provide no escape.
maimonides nutz There are many great things that have happened since my friend got married. The top two are: 1. He is getting everything he has wanted out of life. 2. He now has hand towels in his bathrooms every single time. Reply from Barbara or Babs, Never... Great, so another guy who couldn't adult properly but now gets credit for his wife's mental and domestic load.
A selfie of a woman with long dark hair sitting on a bed.
A selfie of a woman sitting on a bed
Shipping option (lowest available) $24.90
A blue background with a yellow question mark and the text in front says “did you do a chesed today?”
A background of bubbles with a cartoon picture of a bucket and scrubbing brush (both are smiling). The text says “it could be worse - it could be PESACH CLEANING”
A picture of a hand holding a bottle with the top of the lid facing the camera. The lid is white and wide enough that it can be written on. The writing on the top is messy and smudged and it says “U already have replace-ment”
A woman sitting on a leopard print armchair wearing a black shirt with the sentence “hit him with your car” across the chest.
maimonides nutz: My hottest Jewish food take is that a bagel with lox is NOT a suitable lunch... that is a breakfast food. Despite it having a good balance between protein and carbs, it is NOT filling enough to get you through the day bobarchter: My hottest Jewish food take comes from the Epstein Files. Babies. They eat babies. Not just recently, but throughout history. 109 and counting.
Some Jewish Sticker-makers: I spent hours researching and conceptualizing this design. I printed it at 5”x5” so you could see the painstaking lettering I did in a language I don’t speak. I think $4 is reasonable? Free shipping! 😊 Other Jewish sticker-makers: I typed this word in Times New Roman. It’s $6 for a 3”x3” and $5 shipping. Thank youu ✌️
A close up of a prescription pill bottle for rosuvastatin 20 mg
Screen shot of cutco website: 7-5/8" Petite Chef $197 Powerful yet precise. Well balanced and sharp. A classic for all great home cooks.
Small red bumps on an arm near the hand
A black and white portrait of composer Franz Liszt
A screen shot of a thrift books email with a picture of a book with a red cover. The title of the book is “Suffering” and the author is Dorothee Sölle. Below the cover it says “From 7.59” and there is a box that says “buy now”
Email notification from ThriftBooks: Don't Miss Out on Suffering Complete your order today.
tweet from this is nutz (@maimonides_nutz) “I am a woman seeking a: Man Woman • The Complete Pines Translation of Guide of the Perplexed at My Local Thrift Shop” 11:31 AM Jul 27, 2021 Twitter Web Ap
Tumblr post from transgenderer: all im saying is, we cant prove yeehaw ISNT the tetragrammaton, unless we invent time travel or find an ancient hebrew pronounciation guide
A picture of a computer screen that is on the website “YehWang B2B wholesaler”
A sticky plastic toy with a large palm/hand on a string
Screenshot from PubMed: The Sorting Hat of Medicine: Why Hufflepuffs Wear Stethoscopes and Slytherins Carry Scalpels Maria Baimas-George et al. J Surg Educ. 2020 Jul-Aug.
Half face selfie with the caption “Remember kids: it's not lashon hara if you really, reallyyy want to say it”
Time sensitive notification from Uber: Hashem (4.97 stars) is arriving in 4 minutes.
A corner of a small square silver wrapper
Threads post from kingshOwtime: “The worst she could say is no" - fellas reply with the worst rejection you've ever gotten Reply post from realdiegotrombon: “I wouldn't know. I've never been rejected. I hand out Ls on the regular though. My favorite way to reject unworthy women is to tell them they're fat or unqualified. It humbles them forever. I'm doing a public service. Helping you guys out.”
Tweet from d. (@CALLHERDIARA) “i do not support all women. some of you bitches [in edited smaller text] participated in the 2013 FBI sting operation to break up the divorce coercion gang that compelled reluctant men to give their wives a get”
a small curved bright pink vibrator in a box of socks
screenshot of tweet from wint (dril) “and another thing: im not texting respected scholars about Talmudic rabbi's size please dont put in the newspaper that I'm texting respected scholars about Talmudic rabbi's size” 11:42 PM • Dec 28, 2014
A photo of someone taking a picture in a mirror. The picture is cropped to show the person is wearing jeans that have thick vertical stripes of alternating black and white.
Two screenshots of received messages on dating apps The first one: [NAME]!!! I was circumcised twice be the rabbi kd up no joke The second one: Also I saw that you stated you're Jewish...is having foreskin a dealbreaker?
A picture of a sticker of a bright pink billboard that says “Judaism: Come for your girlfriend. Come for her right now. That's a good boy.”