Michael Brooke

@marbleicehook.bsky.social

1773 Followers 1674 Following

Freelance writer, editor and DVD/Blu-ray producer/commentator specialising in British and central/eastern European cinema. Indexes to my regular posts celebrating the latter (9am daily, 9pm most days) can be found at http://www.michaelbrooke.com/bluesky

The cover of the Vinegar Syndrope release of 'Piotr Szulkin's Apocalypse Tetralogy', featuring a helmeted individual whose face has been replaced by a spiral, and the entire artwork has been covered with 21 yellow silhouettes of rats.
Jason Robards as Al Capone in The St Valentine’s Day Massacre, expressing the hope that his enemies will rot in hell for a million years—although he’s saying it in his native Italian, hence a subtitle transcription reading “Marciscono all’inferno per un milione d’anni!”
A six-panel cartoon in which a green person wearing a red MAGA cap makes an offer to a blue person wearing a D badge that "If you press this button, Donald Trump will get life in prison, but Bill Clinton will get the same". The blue person presses the button once, then repeatedly, while the green person wails "No, wait".
Oskar Schindler (Liam Neeson) smoking a cigarette in 'Schindler's List'.
A screencap from the online version of the Financial Times, highlighting the headline "Who's who at X, the deepfake porn site formerly known as Twitter: A look inside Elon Musk's big tent".
British Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain in 1938, waving the piece of paper that he alleged promised "peace in our time". The next year, Hitler invaded Poland, compelling Chamberlain to declare war on Germany.
The Jack Davis-designed poster for the East Coast premiere run of Robert Altman's 'The Long Goodbye' (1973), featuring exaggerated Mad Magazine-style caricatures of Elliott Gould, Nina Van Pallandt, Jim Bouton, Sterling Hayden, et al, complete with facetious speech bubbles. Across the top, Robert Altman is introducing various aspects of his film, which triggers five conversations, a sample one being: ALTMAN: Here's our star, Elliott Gould! Elliott plays Philip Marlowe, a hard-bitten cynical private eye trying to solve an incredible mystery! GOULD: With so many other actors around, why did you pick me?? ALTMAN: THAT'S the mystery!
A Telegraph headline from 27 November 2025, in which Allister Heath opines that "Britain is now in the grip of full-blooded socialism".
A tweet dated 23 September 2022 by Sunday Telegraph editor Allister Heath, welcoming the mini-budget by the then Prime Minister Liz Truss and her Chancellor of the Exchequer Kwasi Kwarteng with: "This was the best Budget I have ever heard a British chancellor deliver, by a massive margin. The tax cuts were so huge and bold, the language so extraordinary, that at times, listening to Kwasi Kwarteng, I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming, that I hadn't been transported to a distant land that actually believed in the economics of Milton Friedman and FA Hayek."
A tweet dated 23 September 2022 by Sunday Telegraph editor Allister Heath, welcoming the mini-budget by the then Prime Minister Liz Truss and her Chancellor of the Exchequer Kwasi Kwarteng with: "This was the best Budget I have ever heard a British chancellor deliver, by a massive margin. The tax cuts were so huge and bold, the language so extraordinary, that at times, listening to Kwasi Kwarteng, I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming, that I hadn't been transported to a distant land that actually believed in the economics of Milton Friedman and FA Hayek."
A blond working cocker spaniel in a state of such evident exhaustion that his head is lolling out of his basket and making contact with a dusty patio.
A photo of the distinguished German actor Udo Kier, taken in 2015, in which he’s holding the then recent Arrow Blu-ray releases of The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Miss Osbourne and Mark of the Devil, in both of which he starred.
A Facebook Messenger conversation between me and my wife. I posted: -"I would like to buy a deodorant, please." -"Ball or..." and then uploaded a picture of a passenger jet with AIR SEOUL on the side. To which she replied: "No, I want it for my armpits."
A meme consisting of a black and white image of Toshiro Mifune sporting the hairstyle referred to in the caption, which reads (in block caps): "IF YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT GETTING A MAN BUN, ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION: AM I TOSHIRO MIFUNE? IF THE ANSWER IS NO, THEN YOU SHOULDN'T GET ONE."
A photo of a large digital display temporarily installed at the National History Museum in London in which Starbucks invited people to "Tweet your festive message" with the hashtag "#spreadthe cheer". The two legible messages read "Tax Dodging Mofo's" and "Hey, #Starbucks, PAY YOUR FUCKING TAX".
A snapshot of the leaderboard for the Dub the Dew campaign. The text reads: Dub the Dew - Top 10 Leaderboard Vote for your favorite name to keep it on The top 10 Leaderboard 1. Hitler did nothing wrong 2. Gushing Granny 3. Fapple 4. Diabeetus 5. Gushin' Granny 6. Grannies Squirt 7. Gushing Grannies 8. Gooshing Granny 9. Fapulous Apple 10. Gushing Green Granny
The distinctive yellow remote submersible named Boaty McBoatface as a result of a controversial public vote, its name prominently displayed on the side.
A reproduction of a text-only Facebook post from 16 June 2018. Settling down en famille to watch 'Attack the Block' (which is on my son's GCSE Film Studies viewing list, so this is officially Helping With Homework). Daughter: <suspiciously> How old is it? Me: 2011. Daughter: That's OK - it probably won't be old and boring then. Me: Just because something's older than you doesn't mean that it's boring. For instance, out of all the shark films we watched earlier this year, which one was the best by light years? Daughter: <instantly> Sharknado 5.
A still from the film 'Misery' (1990) featuring obsessed fan Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates) holding a sledgehammer.
A facsimile of an email alert reading: "Bloomsbury Publishing. Your Order Confirmation. Thank you for your purchase. Hello Michael Brooke, Thank y..."
A still from Walerian Borowczyk's notorious 'The Beast' ('La Bête', 1975), featuring the title character peering over the branch of a tree while holding an organ recently extracted from a slaughtered lamb. In the interests of social media decorum, this image doesn't show the beast's lower half, but the film shows it in considerable detail.
A recruitment ad for London bus drivers, dating from circa 1980, whose headline is "When you look in the mirror, do you see a Bus Driver?", the accompanying picture being of the reflection of a London double-decker bus in a car's wing mirror.
A mug commemorating the Institute for Studies, regularly cited by the Daily Mash as an authority on a bewilderingly wide range of topics. Its spokesman, Professor Henry Brubaker, coincidentally has the same name as the prison officer in the 1980 Robert Redford film Brubaker, which has no doubt triggered the occasional titter in the Institute’s hallowed halls.
A Tesco mini sausage roll, into which two pills, one large, one small, have been embedded, in order to create a failsafe delivery mechanism for getting a dog to keep on top of his prescribed drug treatment.
A British ten pound note in circulation from 2000-2017, featuring Charles Darwin.
A screenshot of a Twitter exchange between @J2bk_Chelsea (J) and @everysongsung (Matt) that took place on 23 May 2017. J: Birmingham in the UK literally has no go zones now. Matt: Just got to take issue with this point, because it’s bullshit. I’ve lived in Brum, London and Manchester and not one has a “no go” area. J: You’ve lived in Brum. I was kinda talking about Birmingham. Look it up.
A Facebook post made by Michael Brooke on 21 December 2019, illustrated by the front cover of Indicator’s Blu-ray edition of ‘The Pillow Book’, followed by the plaintive comment “After having painstakingly recreated nearly 300 subtitles in the original calligraphic font that accompanied the theatrical release (the official subtitle script specifies to the frame how long the dissolves in and out should be), and having created nearly 750 hard-of-hearing subtitles on top of all that, many of which needed unusually careful positioning to avoid clashing with important onscreen information and which included song lyrics in four languages other than English, I can honestly say, with my hand clamped firmly over my heart, that I've seen enough of Ewan McGregor's knob to last me a lifetime. PUT IT AWAY.”
Three shrinkwrapped hardback volumes comprising Giannalberto Bendazzi's 2015 magnum opus 'Animation: A World History'. Volume 1 is subtitled 'Foundations - The Golden Age', volume 2 'The Birth of a Style - The Three Markets', and volume 3 'Contemporary Times'.
A map titled 'Europe According to Ireland'. Ireland is labelled "Us", every other country bar one is labelled "Great bunch of lads" (with western Europe identified as "Fond of the aul beer", southern Europe as "Fond of the aul wine" and eastern Europe as "Fond of the aul vodka"), while England is labelled "Pricks". It's definitely England rather than the UK as a whole, as the Scots also come under the heading "Great bunch of lads".
A hardback copy of 'His Beautiful Hands: The Short Fiction of Oscar Cook, Edited & Introduced by Johnny Mains'.
A transcript of the end of Alexandra Heller-Nicholas and Josh Nelson's Blu-ray audio commentary for Franco Zeffirelli's 'The Taming of the Shrew': AHN: Josh, it has been a delight. I feel like we should have squabbled more. JN: Wench! AHN: Dick! JN: Shrew! AHN: Maybe we can do this again and we’ll just fight all the way through it. We’ll just disagree on everything. JN: Fatty! AHN: Okay, settle down. JN: Sorry, I went too far there. AHN: Wow. I wish you had acne scars like Richard Burton and I could give you shit about them. JN: Let’s be honest, if there’s a fatty here, it’s definitely me. That’s my soft spot. AHN: Thank you for joining us in this increasingly shouting, but very agreeable, except for the end bit, commentary. This has been really fun to revisit. JN: It’s been a delight. Thank you for listening.
Alan Bennett’s diary entry for 17 March 2003: “A Bin Laden associate reported as being ‘quizzed’ by American agents in Pakistan. Were suspects ‘quizzed’ by the Gestapo, I wonder. Other people torture; we quiz.”
A packet of Sainsbury's High Bake Water Biscuits.
A brown horse in a field, sporting an impressive blond mane.
Valerie (Jaroslava Schallerová) in a dark dress, surrounded by girls of a similar age in white dresses, in a room full of tall candles.
Stretching her hand over a skull and a glass of red wine, Valerie (Jaroslava Schallerová) proffers one of her pearl-like earrings – one of the film's recurring symbols – to someone in the foreground who's covering his face with his hand.
Valerie (Jaroslava Schallerová) points out something to the vampiric Tchoř (Jiří Prýmek) – whose name translates as "Polecat". He is holding a fan and a small white dog.
Valerie's grandmother (Helena Anýžová), both dressed and made up in white.
The Czech poster for Valerie and Her Week of Wonders, featuring the vampiric Tchoř (Jiří Prýmek) embracing Valerie (Jaroslava Schallerová) from behind, with both surrounded by various symbolic illustrations.
Karcsi (Iván Fenyő) and Viki (Kata Dobó) walk along a Budapest street in what might be a classic magic-hour romantic silhouette shot were it not for the fact that they're both visibly toting weapons.
An unarmed Hungarian man confronts a Soviet tank in a Budapest streets.
During the waterpolo match between Hungary and the USSR, Karcsi (Iván Fenyő) is visibly dripping blood from a cut above his eye, caused by a Soviet player punching him.
Student activist Viki (Kata Dobó) holding a Hungarian flag.
The Hungarian poster for 'Children of Glory', featuring protagonists Viki (Kata Dobó) and Karcsi (Iván Fenyő) shown from behind, arm in arm, while in the foreground there are images of a Soviet tank, a waterpolo game in progress, and Hungarians waving their national flag.
The hideous witch Baba Yaga (Georgy Millyar, who would repeat the part many times thereafter) and an understandably apprehensive-looking Vassilisa (Valentina Sorogozhaya).
The three-headed serpent Gorynych.
Ivan (Sergei Stolyarov), clad in armour and helmet, embraces Vassilisa (Valentina Sorogozhaya).
Hero Ivan (Sergei Stolyarov) prepares to shoot an arrow against a backdrop of an authentic Russian silver birch forest.
The Russian poster for 'Vassilisa the Beautiful', featuring (clockwise from top left) Valentina Sorogozhaya in the title role, Sergei Stolyarov as the heroic Ivan, and Georgy Millyar as the legendary witch Baba Yaga, complete with owl with terrifyingly illuminated eyes.
John Lasocki (John Gielgud) speaks his mind to Adam Pietryk (Andrzej Seweryn), a far less talented musician than Lasocki who's been the beneficiary of official preferment.
Conductor Adam Pietryk (Andrzej Seweryn), sporting a sticking plaster just above his upper lip, with his wife Marta (Krystyna Janda).
John Lasocki (John Gielgud) dining in a candlelit restaurant with Marta (Krystyna Janda, with her back to the camera).
Conductor John Lasocki (John Gielgud) reluctantly gives a post-performance interview after being ambushed by a TV news crew.
The Polish poster for 'The Conductor', featuring a votive candle burning inside an otherwise empty vertically-positioned violin case.
An extract from George Orwell’s 1939 essay on boy’s comics: “T he assumption all along is not only that foreigners are comics who are put there for us to laugh at, but that they can be classified in much the same way as insects. That is why in all boys' papers, not only the Gem and Magnet, a Chinese is invariably portrayed with a pigtail. It is the thing you recognize him by, like the Frenchman's beard or the Italian's barrel-organ. In papers of this kind it occasionally happens that when the setting of a story is in a foreign country some attempt is made to describe the natives as individual human beings, but as a rule it is assumed that foreigners of any one race are all alike and will conform more or less exactly to the following patterns: Frenchman: Excitable. Wears beard, gesticulates wildly. Spaniard, Mexican, etc.: Sinister, treacherous. Arab, Afghan, etc.: Sinister, treacherous. Chinese: Sinister, treacherous. Wears pigtail. Italian: Excitable. Grinds barrel-organ or carries stiletto. Swede, Dane, etc.: Kind-hearted, stupid. Negro: Comic, very faithful.”
Barnabáš Kos (Josef Kemr) stands up to show off "his" orchestra.
A quizzical-looking Barnabáš Kos (Josef Kemr) turns away from a mirror to look slightly off camera.
Barnabáš Kos (Josef Kemr), surrounded by his fellow musicians, prepares to play the triangle part during an orchestra performance.
Barnabáš Kos (Josef Kemr) standing in front of a window through which the legs of a monumental statue can be seen.
The Czechoslovak poster for The Barnabáš Kos Case, an abstract design revolving around a triangle motif.