Matt Salomone

@matthematics.com

3870 Followers 2239 Following

Crusty old dean. Mathematics enjoyer. Views mine. ¹Best known for other work. 📍 Cape Cod, MA

Excerpt from Revelation chapter 20: Satan Cast into the Lake of Fire 7 And when the thousand years are expired, Satan shall be loosed out of his prison, & And shall go out to deceive the nations which are in the four quarters of the earth, Gog and Magog, to gather them together to battle: the number of whom is as the sand of the sea. 'And they went up on the breadth of the earth, and compassed the camp of the saints about, and the beloved city: and fire came down
Police officer meme, holding up a color chart in front of a fez-wearing Peter Griffin behind the wheel of his car. The light skin tones are labeled "Historically Accurate" and the darker are "Demise of the West".
Peanut-shaped sneering figure wearing a "thinking cap" derisively points at a Poochie-fied skateboarding hot dog ("literal coolest thing ever") saying "this fucking sucks actually"
Bart Simpson moons the school audience, a fake set of glasses and long schnozz attached above his bare buttocks to resemble Richard Milhous Nixon. “I am not a butt,” he imitates
Pull quote from the linked article: "College presidents aren’t just operating in an increasingly hostile landscape; they’re running increasingly complex institutions. Institutions have become more like traditional businesses, with a growing managerial class and more and more varied operations. Public disinvestment in the sector has made revenue generation — often in areas outside colleges’ academic core — a much-greater focus of many administrative jobs."
Ragebait-worthy "Mom Life" comic titled "One of the [many] differences between me & my husband" depicting a faceless woman and a faceless man each standing in front of a table with a single peach on it. The woman thinks to herself "Oh look, the last ripe peach! I'll save it for the kids, they love peaches so much." Meanwhile the man thinks "Oh look, the last ripe peach! I'll use it as a special treat in my daily smoothie."
Dan Aykroyd appears as President Nixon in first-season Saturday Night Live
A menacing-looking gray-jumpsuited officer with long gloves and a police baton, wearing a full-face helmet with a large paw insignia and big fuzzy bear-foot slippers, advances on the reader
Marge and Homer Simpson sit at Marge's intake appointment with psychologist Dr. Zweig (Anne Bancroft). "I'm sorry, doctor," Marge explains. "[Homer] is just afraid you'll blame all my problems on him." "I'm not here to blame anyone," Zweig responds. We then see her scrawl "HUSBAND" on her notepad, underlining it twice.
"Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous. It is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words. They delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound argument but to intimidate and disconcert. If you press them too closely, they will abruptly fall silent, loftily indicating by some phrase that the time for argument is past." - Jean-Paul Sartre
Mr. Burns, loopy and hallucinating from the diethyl ether anesthesia recently required for filing his fingernails, gleefully revs a power drill pointed at the head of Hans Moleman, who was merely requesting rebristling for his push-broom. Burns believes Moleman to be "that delightful TV leprechaun" and anticipates trepanning him to "get [his] Lucky Charms".
(D–MI) Evelyn Normielib [Sketch of a kindly-looking smiling woman wearing square spectacles and a cozy cardigan. An "In This House We Believe..." sign is behind her.] - Retired teacher - Voted for Buttegieg in 2020 because he reminds her of her grandson - "The blood of the tyrant shall water our fields"
Strong Bad stares at a green-LCD monitor showing an email reading "Strong Bad, My sister and me think you are so cool. Do you have a girlfriend? There is two of us. Yours, Ali." He gasps "Oh! There's two of them!"
Anime meme: a young guy gestures at a butterfly ("Wearing her bf's oversized hoodie because omg it's so cold in here") and naively asks "Is this 'boymoding'?"
In "The Simpsons" we see in cutaway two flamboyant Vegas performers Gunter and Ernst recalling how they rescued their performing white tiger Anastasia from the so-called savagery of the jungle: driving up on her, already asleep, and shouting "Hey tiger! Wake up!" before shooting her with a tranquilizer dart in the rear haunches.
Newsman Kent Brockman, a "SPECIAL BULLETIN" chyron behind him, breathlessly leans into the camera showing "It's in Revelations, people!"
Homer Simpson cradles a steel trash can lovingly, saying "You will be called 'Binface'."
Georgia Republican gubernatorial candidate Kandiss Taylor appears on a bus-sized billboard reading "I'm the ONE You've Been Waiting For! JESUS - GUNS - BABIES"
A diagram of three redundantly-placed umbrellas, one under the other CHRIST PROTECT FAMILY HUSBAND PROVIDE FOR FAMILY WIFE CHILDREN MANAGERS OF HOME
POLITICS West Virginia spent $3M to create university program to fight 'woke ideology' One student is enrolled EDUCATION NOT INDOCTRINATION
Quote from sect in schism: “What are you gonna do, schism me?”
Haus of Decline comic Panel 1: Kid sits lonely at a lemonade stand with sign “Lemonade 50¢ / cup”. “Man, I’m tired of not selling any lemonade,” the kid says. Panel 2: Kid adds to his sign, which now reads “ANTI-WOKE LEMONADE 50¢ / cup” Panel 3: A throng of middle-aged men with identical sunglasses, polos, and gray goatees appear out of nowhere. “Young man, I would like to support your business,” says one. “So would I,” several agree. Panel 4: Wads of dollars are being waved in front of the kid’s face. “This feels wrong,” he says, “but the money kinda helps.”
George Costanza shows up to work the day after having dramatically quit his job. “What are you doing here?” A coworker confronts him. “What?” He asks naively. “I work here.” “I thought you quit,” the coworker replies. “What quit?” He shrugs. “Who quit?”
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Homer Simpson (as Graham Platner) protests to a furious Marge "I swear to you! I never thought you'd find out!"
OP holding a blue College of Graduate Studies coffee mug in a somewhat-bare-looking office with blue walls
Jerry Seinfeld looks skeptically at Cosmo Kramer saying "You don't even know what communism is."
Billy Madison (Adam Sandler) covers for a small child who’s peed his pants by wetting his own pants and telling the gathered children “Everyone my age pees their pants, it’s the coolest!”
OP giving a thumbs-up outside a house signed “College of Graduate Studies”
Superintendent Chalmers, negotiating a tense standoff with Principal Skinner with many Springfielders behind him, is invited by Skinner to “let the town decide.” Exasperated, Chalmers asks “Who do you want to talk to first? The e-catgirl? Or the chud with rats in his room who doesn’t shower?”
In “The Simpsons” we see a tv commercial featuring a young blond woman with loud eyeshadow and lipstick, making bedroom eyes at a nerdy guy whose gas she’s pumping for him at a remote desert service station. A silver cross pendant dangles in front of her dramatically exposed low-cut décolleté. “The Church,” a voiceover says. “We’ve made some changes.”
Smug peanut-shaped guy wearing a thinking cap gestures saying “this fucking sucks actually” at a rad skateboarding hot-dog correctly labeled “literal coolest thing ever”
World Cup chyron reading SUI - CAN, and image of Homer Simpson appearing on tabloid show Rock Bottom lasciviously drooling over feminist grad student Ashley Grant’s sweet can
Martin Prince plays an arcade game adaptation of “My Dinner With Andre”. We see his hand on a joystick with directions labeled “trenchant insight”, “bon mot”, and “‘tell me more’”.
Jayne Cobb tells Malcolm Reynolds “I got a share of this job here. And ten percent of nothing is…”
Matt Bors comic panel: a young woman looking at her phone says “My gawd these Trump people are racist.” A young man wearing a MAGA hat pops in from out of frame to scold her saying “That attitude is what’s PUSHING me to be racist!”
Seymour Skinner grins and holds a champagne flute aloft saying "Yes!"
General Motors EV1
The Simpsons’ old cat lady, an elderly woman with disheveled gray hair and a pink dressing gown, chases Lisa off her front lawn carrying an armload of house cats, one of which she has thrown at Lisa
Email header from Democrats.org with the subject line “Let us be clear, Tessa”
Marge Simpson: “There’s nothing to be afraid of…”
Nelson Muntz, Bart Simpson, and Milhouse Van Houten have just surreptitiously snuck into an R-rated movie during school hours. They emerge from the film looking disappointed and regretful. Looking up at the marquee Nelson says “I can think of at least two things wrong with that title.” (The film was “Naked Lunch”.)
Anime meme of the guy observing a butterfly. “Is this a ‘disruption’?”
The last panel of the Matt Bors comic with a young MAGA-hat man being so triggered by his liberal friend's anti-racism that he goes full Nazi. We see him shaving his own head while simultaneously receiving a swastika tattoo on his arm. "I just hate to do this," he says blankly. "I feel bullied, really."
Homer Simpson sits with an open box of donuts on his lap behind his nuclear power plant workstation, while Lenny and Carl look on holding cups of coffee. Homer is listening to conservative shock-jock Birch Barlow on a large AM radio. "I usually think people who vote are a bit 'fruity'," Homer says, making swishy wrist-and-finger gestures.
News anchor Kent Brockman mugs dramatically into the camera and shouts "A tremendous EXPLOSION! ... in the price of lumber."
On a billboard, a stern-looking medical doctor says "DON'T USE CHATGPT." We then see that doctor smiling broadly and holding a fork and knife in front of a large plate of venison. A deer head is mounted on the wall behind her. "USE GROK," it reads.
"True Detective" season 1 screenshot: Woody Harrelson in the driver's seat tells Matthew McConaughey in the passenger seat that "WE'VE TALKED TOO MUCH, GOING SILENT WOULD BE GOOD"
Action figures of a grinning clam with a pointy white hood (“Ku Klux Klam”) sit on an antique camp store shelf in the Simpsons’ “Homer’s Phobia” episode where John Waters plays the proprietor of that store
A red sign adjacent to an ocean beach reads “CLOSED TO SHELLFISH”
Tweet from Chris Lambert @clamberton7 Showers fill in from northwest to southeast mid to late morning tomorrow. Not out of the question some wet snow flakes mix in highest terrain of northern Worcester County in southwest NH.
Blue bumper sticker reading "VOTE FOR THE VEGAN: IT'S IMPORTANT"
Quack Dr. Nick Riviera musses Bart Simpson's hair (Bart has just observed that Homer, in his desire to gain weight to go on disability, might consider brushing his teeth with milkshakes). "Hey," Riviera jests approvingly, "did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?"
1997 Mazda 323
The Sims screenshot: a upping woman intently uses a computer while a swaddled baby on the floor next to her is aflame. “Not now, sweetie, mommy is securing her own oxygen mask before helping others”
Jordan B. Peterson appears alongside Zod and his minions trapped in the Phantom Zone
Family Guy meme: a police officer holds up a skin color chart to gauge whether Peter Griffin has engaged in free speech (lighter shades) or woke terrorism (darker shades)
Mattie Lubchansky’s comic of the “Is That Good?” Game show
Google Drive web image Cartoon woman with tiny head and big body This folder is empty Tap the + button to upload a file or create something new
Homer Simpson performs an improvised rap for his “Mr. Plow” business for a horrified Bart and Lisa