mattie lubchansky

@mattielubchansky.com

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best-selling & award-winning comics idiot, beautiful giantess // buy SIMPLICITY on sale now // mattielubchansky.com // @nogodsnomayors.com // temporalculturewar.com // bass faithvoid.bandcamp.com // she

PANEL 1: MATTIE is talking to a FRIEND. FRIEND: AND THEN I WAS LIKE, OH MY GOD! THIS IS JUST LIKE WHEN GEMINI THE CAT– MATTIE: –OK. I'M REALLY SORRY. PANEL 2: MATTIE rubs her eyes. MATTIE: OUTSIDE OF YOU REFERENCING A BOOK FOR CHILDREN IN EVERYDAY ADULT LIFE, YOU HAVE TO KNOW AT THIS POINT THAT THE AUTHOR OF THE "SPOT VOYAGER: DOG ASTRONAUT" SERIES HAS BEEN USING HER WEALTH TO DESTROY LIVES. MINE, SPECIFICALLY. PANEL 3: Over the shoulder shot of MATTIE, who stares at the FRIEND, arms outstretched. From behind Mattie, two GOONS approach, wearing space helmets and big dog paws. FRIEND: YEAH, THAT'S WHY I DON'T BUY ANY OF HER STUFF. BUT WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, NOT BRING IT UP? THE SERIES IS BELOVED! PANEL: Same shot, MATTIE is being dragged off. The FRIEND puts a finger on his chin. FRIEND: WOW… THIS IS JUST LIKE THAT ONE PART IN THE FIFTH BOOK.
it's happening again giant
tom mchenry post: "half-remembering that thing about how most roman citizens experienced the fall of Rome as simply one day their local bridge went out and nobody came around to fix it" but now it's about shitting ass disease
PANEL 1: Close-in on MATTIE's face. SFX: WHOOOOOOOOOSH VO: YEAH, I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THAT. VO: MATTIE, WHAT DO YOU THINK? VO: MATTIE?! PANEL 3: First shot again, FRIEND 2 is shaking MATTIE, who goes completely limp. FRIEND 1: WHAT HAPPENED? FRIEND 2: SHE WAS STARING OFF INTO THE DISTANCE…I HEARD A WHOOSH…I THINK OUR CONVERSATION TRIGGERED A FLASHBACK… PANEL 4: Close-in on FRIEND 1's face. FRIEND 2 (VO): MATTIE ARE YOU FLASHING BACK RIGHT NOW? MATTIE…STAY WITH US…OH GOD…YOUR DOCTOR SAID YOU CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE… FRIEND 1: HUH. THAT REMINDS ME… SFX: WHOOOOOSH PANEL 5: FRIEND 2 on their knees, weeping. Both MATTIE and FRIEND 1 are collapsed. FRIEND 2: THIS IS REALLY DISRUPTING THE NARRATIVE FLOW
sam neill in IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS (1994)
mattie….
a plane in the river
crab orgy
PANEL 1: MATTIE, getting dressed. She pulls on a hat. Behind her is ANOTHER WOMAN, who runs over. WOMAN: Whoa whoa whoa! What are you doing? MATTIE: I'm putting on a hat. PANEL 2: Closer in on the other woman's hand, which holds a phone. On the phone is a video of an INFLUENCER, holding a hat in one hand and wagging her finger with the other. It's captioned YOU'RE PUTTING ON HATS WRONG! WOMAN: There's actually a way cuter way to do it. PANEL 3: CLOSE IN on MATTIE's face, who squints at the phone in the near foreground. VO (INFLUENCER): Okay so what I do is first turn the hat inside out, and then what you want to do is stand on your head. Then use your hands to reach around your body and pull the opposite side of the hat THROUGH your torso, up and around, re-fastening on the head. Then just turn yourself back around and flip your arm back, which should happen smoothly if you've done it right. PANEL 4: MATTIE, in a horrible contorted position on the floor. The hat hangs off the top of her foot, the phone is still clutched in her hand. The OTHER WOMAN is in the near foreground, smiling. WOMAN: Looks way better I think! VO (From phone): Like and subscribe for more!
SIMPLICITY and BOYS WEEKEND, my two graphic novels
PANEL 1: A guy in an FBI windbreaker, sitting down at a laptop. TEXT: Really excited for my first day as the guy at the agency that stirs up shit in the trans community online. PANEL 2: Same shot. He's sitting down and typing. GERALD: Hahah, this will really get the conversation going! GERALD: Wonder where they'll take this one. PANEL 3: Closer in on his face, glowing from the screen. His mouth hangs open. GERALD: Oh. Oh no. Oh No. PANEL 4: He turns his mouth to the heavens with a silent scream.
frog, sitting regularly
PANEL 1: MATTIE is walking down the street. A WEIRD LITTLE GUY is sort of trying to tackle her. MATTIE: Unffff– VOICE OFF-PANEL: Hey! Be careful. PANEL 2: The LITTLE GUY has tackled MATTIE and is sticking his hands in her mouth and nose. The IMPORTANT PUNDIT has wandered over. PUNDIT: Whatever you do, don't take the bait. He's baiting you. MATTIE: He'f puffing hif fingerf in my MOUF and NOSHE! PANEL 3: MATTIE closes her eyes. Closer in shot. PUNDIT (OFF PANEL): Do you want to look bad in front of everyone? PANEL 4: MATTIE sitting on her couch reading a book. The guy is there, pushing against her face. TEXT: LATER
BILL SIMMONS: Okay so you’re saying an HSTS is sort of like your natural athletes. Like a Deion Sanders kind of guy, doesn’t matter what he does, he’s– ME (inexplicably on the show) -She. BILL SIMMONS: Right. She’s gonna succeed at whatever it is. Football, baseball. Being a gay guy, being a woman, whatever. She’s hot. She’s desirable. She’s, what’d you call it? ME: Cunty. BILL: She’s cunty. Can I say that? We’ll talk about it off mic. But the other ones. AGPs, they’re coachable. They gotta try really hard, but they want it really badly. The will to win. And once they’re at that level, they’ve got a long career ahead of them in coaching. Like a Joe Torre or a Jason Kidd or something. ME: Exactly.
wemby mauling my sweet boy jalen brunson. no call :)
PANEL 1: MATTIE is on the couch, watching TV. She looks incredibly distraught. TV: …and the shot JUST misses…. MATTIE: Ughhhh!!! Aughhh. MATTIE: I'm…… PANEL 2: MATTIE, close in. She makes two fists. MATTIE: …No. I won't say it. MATTIE: I promised I would stop saying "I'm going to kill myself" every ten seconds all day. MATTIE: Okay. PANEL 3: Same shot. She looks off to the side. PANEL 4: Over MATTIE's shoulder, she's holding up a mirror. She points at it. MATTIE: You've seen your last sunrise, old woman!
a dutch knickerbocker dribbling a basketball. look at him go!
PANEL 1: MATTIE and a GUY walking down the street. The GUY has a pin that says ALLY. He is pointing at a figure in the near foreground. ALLY GUY: Can you believe it? That guy that hates trans people…is on testosterone and has had cosmetic procedures! MATTIE: And? PANEL 2: Close in on the figure, it's ANOTHER GUY with an exaggerated chad face. VO: Don't you GET it? That's the same! Gender-affirming care! VO: If you want to get really pedantic, I guess? Maybe. But it doesn't really change anything– VO: He's the SAME as you! PANEL 3: MATTIE: hands on her hips. The ALLY GUY walks away triumphantly. ALLY GUY: That's right! The transsexual! Society's lowest creature! ALLY GUY: Haha, he is so owned. I'm going to go tell him. PANEL 4: MATTIE watches in the near foreground. Across the street the CHAD GUY is on his knees, crying. The ALLY GUY is turned towards MATTIE giving a thumbs-up and grinning huge.
the stupid ufc thing on the stupid lawn of the stupid white house
remember that bugnuts tumblr hamilton au. well the one guy is back and now his shirt says "i met god. he has a huge dick and balls." okay. have a good day everyone
PANEL 1: MATTIE standing next to ANOTHER PERSON in a small crowd, behind a rope. In the near foreground, a couple figures march by. MATTIE: Hey, what's going on here? PERSON: Some guy changed his mind about a political issue! So we're all throwing him a parade. PERSON: His name is Dave, I think. PANEL 2: Closer in on MATTIE. MATTIE: This is a bit much, no? PERSON: Well, the issue is whether or not YOU'RE a human, so you should probably be grateful. PANEL 3: MATTIE and the PERSON frame a shot of a parade float with DAVE atop it. Two DRUM MAJORS march towards MATTIE, who DAVE points at. DAVE: Hey wait! Why isn't SHE marching?! DAVE: Seize her! PANEL 4: MATTIE, dejected, in a majorette uniform, walking with a marching band. in
PANEL 1: MATTIE is talking to a MAN IN A SUIT. Behind them is a huge grey cube. Both are yelling the whole time. MATTIE: HEY, WHAT'S THAT?! SUIT: OH, THE ECONOMY CUBE?! IT DOESN'T REALLY DO ANYTHING! BUT WE NEED THEM. EVERYWHERE! OR ELSE! PANEL 2: A cleaner shot of the cube, heat haze emanating off of it. Many more dot the horizon behind it. MATTIE and the SUIT frame the panel. MATTIE: THEY'RE QUITE LOUD! AND HOT! SUIT: OH, VERY. MANY BIRDS WILL DIE! PANEL 3: MATTIE, looking at the SUIT. SUIT: WITHOUT THEM, THE WORLD ECONOMY COLLAPSES! DON'T YOU WANT TO BUY STUFF. MATTIE: I WAS BUYING STUFF LAST YEAR NO PROBLEM WITHOUT THOSE THINGS. WHAT HAPPENED? PANEL 4: The SUIT points at MATTIE. Two other PEOPLE IN SUITS creep in, brandishing weapons. SUIT: WELL I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING… SUIT: SHE HATES THE CUBE, GUYS! SUIT 2: UHHHHH DON'T YOU LIKE SHOPPING? SUIT 3: PUT HER IN A CUBE!
THE REPUBLICANS WANT IS DEAD THE DEMOCRATS DONT CARE
PANEL 1: MATTIE and two other PEOPLE are standing in a tight circle. They're all in togas and robes. PERSON 1: Yes…yes. Tonight. Our years of planning come to fruition. The emperor dies at the hour of crepusculum! PANEL 2: MATTIE stroking her chin. PERSON 2 turns to her, angrily. MATTIE: This sounds awesome. Absolutely. I just want to make sure that you two aren't mad at me. PERSON 2: What? Nobody is mad at you. PANEL 3: The other two people walk away. MATTIE throws her arms in the air. MATTIE: We're just doing a lot of SCHEMING you know. Who knows what other plotting you guys are doing when I'm not around! PANEL 4: The MATTIE and the other two are standing over the dead body of the EMPEROR, a knife in his back. TEXT: LATER MATTIE: Do you think the emperor is mad at me.
mattie in a black dress
elmer fudd as vlad in tub
still from STAR TREK NEMESIS (2002): they're at riker and troi's wedding and data is giving a speech. he starts it with "ladies and gentlemen..."
"Trans Man Makes History by Signing With Minnesota Women’s Soccer Team" https://www.them.us/story/trans-man-isaac-ranson-minnesota-aurora-womens-team#intcid=_them-verso-hp-trending_3a451ba7-b4d2-4548-ae90-00885ca121aa_popular4-2