ℳatt

@matttomic.bsky.social

5233 Followers 150 Following

Uncool adult. From the other site. 📍Toronto

On February 24, 2026, Waldron was shut down indefinitely by the Padres after undergoing a procedure for a hemorrhoid.[
Rob Schneider with his stupid slicked back hair at the Grown Ups 3 cast party
Blue Jays $210 Million Deal Voted Worst Signing of Offseason The headliner of the Toronto Blue Jays‘ spending spree this winter drew the ire of MLB insiders in a recent survey conducted by Jayson Stark of The Athletic. Stark polled three dozen current and former executives, managers, coaches, and scouts on the biggest happenings of the offseason. The top vote-getter for the worst free agent signing was the seven-year, $210 million Dylan Cease contract. The team announced the signing on Tuesday, December 2. As Stark notes, the massive agreement is a record for a player who has paced the league in walks and wild pitches. It was the largest commitment to a pitcher this offseason. Cease has a 10% walk rate in his seven seasons in the big leagues. Poor control has typically held him back. “If he walks less guys than the dollars that he’s paid, he’s got a chance (to be worth the money),” one voter told Stark. The Cease deal was the runaway winner in the worst signing voting.
The North American House Hippo from a series of 90s Canadian TV PSAs
A baby pygmy hippo at the Toronto Zoo. I can't tell if it's very cute or very gross. It is stretching its big pink toothless mouth wide open. It looks damp.
Using the alias “Dwayne Casey,” Barker-Campbell is alleged to have offered a “leggaz” job — which police say is street slang for shooting someone in the leg — to an associate identified only as “Thunder.” Police say it seems “Thunder” declined the job, but Barker-Campbell subsequently enlisted a contact using the alias “Reality.” “My hitters ready,” Reality allegedly replied to Dwayne Casey on June 18, the same day the jail official’s home was first targeted. The Star was unable to reach Barker-Campbell by publication. His counsel was also removed from the record last week. His previous lawyer declined to comment on the allegations against him. Of the three alleged assailants arrested outside the official’s home on June 20, 2025, only 29-year-old Almar Heath can be identified. The other two accused are under 18 and cannot be named.
On a free piano app on my iPad set to organ mode I try to play the note currently being played in John Cage's "As Slow As Possible"
Trans people comprise 0.5% to 3% of the general population and face significant barriers to health, well-being, and participating in society (1-6). Over 60% report a history of diagnosed depression or anxiety (7), and rates of death by suicide are over 2-fold greater than cisgender populations (8). This is largely a result of marginalization and widespread discrimination in many social and institutional settings (9-12). Sport is no exception. A 2017 Human Rights Campaign Foundation study found that 68% of a national sample of all youth played on a sports team, but only 12% to 14% of trans youth played sport (13). Fear of discrimination from coaches or officials and a lack of inclusive policies are described barriers (13). Very few trans people have competed at the elite level despite trans people being eligible to compete at the Olympic Games since 2004.
THE GUARDIAN: https://www.theguardian.com/football/2026/aug/03/mls-dor-turgeman-montreal-new-england-revolution-israel MLS investigates reports of antisemitic chants toward New England’s Dor Turgeman in Montreal Israeli striker scored, then gestured at CF Montréal fans Revolution ‘strongly condemn’ the chants The New England Revolution have denounced chants they deemed “antisemitic” and “discriminatory” from CF Montréal fans during Saturday’s MLS matchup between the sides in Quebec. The specific chants were directed towards New England’s Israeli striker Dor Turgeman, with broadcast microphones capturing fans chanting “free Palestine” shortly before he scored a goal. MLS on Monday confirmed it was “aware of reported antisemitic and discriminatory language directed at a New England Revolution player” and that the matter is under investigation.
A venn diagram about car companies The three circles are labeled: 1. Founded by antisemitic lunatic 2. Has made cars that were infamously unsafe to drive 3. Founder was coke-up out of his gourd Ford (Henry Ford) is 1 and 2 Volkswagen (founded indirectly by Hitler) is 1 and 3 DMC (John DeLorean) is 2 and 3 Tesla (Elon Musk) is 1 2 and 3 right in the middle of the venn diagram
a 4-question survey for COVID conspiracy theorists 1. COVID was... A) a harmless variation of the common cold B) a deadly lab-designed bioweapon 2. created by... A) the American Deep State in order to force compliance and vaccinations B) Chinese operatives as a deliberate attempt to attack the West 3. and the vaccines... A) didn't come fast enough B) were designed to kill you 4. and when you think about it, who stood to gain the most? A) the Democrats b) Big Pharma c) FEMA d) China e) a nefarious New World Order
Quality Starts leaders active players 1. Verlander 2. Scherzer 300 3. Cole 4. Sale 5. Wheeler 6. Gray 7. Degrom 8. Quintana 9. Gausman 10. Corbin
Mike Myers screen-worn costume from the Cat In The Hat without eyes, looks horrifying, like something out of a Flash jump-scare video
A photo of the AI pizza from the business Pizza Near Me. It features a bizarre mix of pickles, a couple pepperonies, and five huge cherry tomatoes just sitting on top. It kinda looks like ham maybe but the closer you zoom it all just becomes a textural blur of AI-generated toppings
A restaurant in Toronto with a sign in the window for Pizza Near Me
The US Department of Education posting Incredibles fanart with the caption Parents Know Best on facebook
I transcribed the data from Liaison/Toronto Star's most recent Toronto Mayoral intention survey and turned it into a pretty bar graph in Excel. Link to the data can be found here: https://press.liaisonstrategies.ca/toronto-chow-49-bradford-41-city-split-on-direction/ Raw data is below, sorry if this formats weird Total Female Male 18-34 35-49 50-64 65+ Downtown Etobicoke North York Scarborough Olivia Chow 39% 47% 32% 42% 38% 36% 41% 45% 30% 41% 39% Brad Bradford 33% 27% 39% 26% 36% 30% 40% 29% 46% 29% 33% Someone Else 8% 9% 7% 8% 11% 7% 6% 8% 9% 8% 7% Undecided 20% 18% 22% 24% 15% 27% 12% 19% 15% 22% 20%
Rogers and Prime Video Announce 12-Year Sublicensing Agreement for NHL Rights in Canada Jul 28, 2026 Prime Video becomes exclusive long-term home of regular-season Wednesday Night Hockey in Canada and select early round Stanley Cup Playoff series in English and French TORONTO, JULY 28, 2026 – Prime Video and Rogers Communications today announced a 12-year agreement for Prime Video in Canada to exclusively broadcast Wednesday night regular-season national NHL games in English and French, beginning with the 2026-2027 season.
A map of North America and Europe that has blue bubbles with numbers on them. The numbers by city are: Paris: 5 Florence: 3 Milan: 3 London: 2 Saint Petersburg: 2 All tied with 1: New York, Washington, Mohamad Bin Salman's Private Yacht, Edinburgh, Krakow, Munich, Rome (Vatican), Parma
As first reported by the Star on Friday, the federal government clipped the wings of the premier’s vision for an expanded Billy Bishop within hours of receiving public survey results showing 87 per cent of 87,000 respondents were opposed to the idea. The move blindsided Queen’s Park. Ford and Carney, who have enjoyed warm relations since the prime minister succeeded Justin Trudeau in March 2025, had even shaken hands to informally seal the deal at the premier’s Etobicoke home. “It’s Billy Bishop for Alto, that was always the understanding,” said one insider, referring to the federal government’s proposed high-speed rail line linking Toronto to Quebec City.
A post from the US Department of Education featuring Jimmy Neutron and his parents in the art style of Fairly Odd Parents. Arm proportions are way off
VARIETY: The Odyssey Conquers B.O.
a FOR ADOPTION collection of mascots from defunct sports teams including Pucky the Whale (Whalers), Squatch (Supersonics), Thrash (Thrashers), the Charlotte Bobcat with cool sunglasses, and Boltman who was never technically the official Chargers mascot but didn't make the move from San Diego to LA with the team
Simpsons scene with the big brother and little brother at the end of the episode where Bart has the idea to put Pepi and the big brother (forget his name? voiced by Phil Hartman) together except in this case the abandoned little brother is former Montreal Expos mascot Youppi and the big brother (TOM! his name is Tom) is the Montreal Canadiens adopting Youppi
Michael Rapaport saying stupid shit on Facebook: Crazy Miss rachel, the viral kids content guru, has been revealed to be funding Abdul El-Seyed's campaign
A young woman who goes by the handle Jenn posts about Hayley Stevens on TikTok with palm trees visible out the window of her car
Colonial women rallied at local parsonages and organized the campaign to ban English tea from every household. They distributed petitions for signatures and circulated anti-tea pledges. Homemakers also searched their gardens and orchards for suitable herbs and fruits to fill their pots. They called these home brews “Liberty Teas.” Only the adventurous spirit of every colonial housewife who tended a teapot limited her household’s menu of Liberty Teas, steeped in a newly-named Liberty Teapot. The mint family was popular: spearmint and peppermint, orange bergamot, catnip and pennyroyal. Leaves of raspberry and strawberry, lemon balm, verbena and wintergreen were also favored in colonial times. From the flower gardens came aromatic and colorful blends of blossoms of linden, elder, red clover, chamomile, violet and goldenrod. Other flavorings came from tree bark such as sassafras and willow, or the seeds of fennel and dill. Fruits included dried strawberries, blueberries or apples, sometimes enhanced with rosehips. Then there were the old-fashioned herbs from the garden, used for culinary dishes and medicinal cures. These included parsley, thyme, marjoram, rosemary, sage and others. Sweet fern, spicebush and ambrosia contributed to the teakettle as well.
A grey-haired Gordie Howe suiting up for Team Canada at the 1974 Summit Series in hideous maple leaf-covered Canada jersey with blue shorts
Doug Ford, looking like an oaf, wearing a Team Canada hockey jersey at the opening of the Gordie Howe Bridge in Windsor
Johnny Depp as Ebenezer Scrooge, a stingy, penny-pinching, cantankerous and lonely old man whose sheer miserly nature leads him to despise Christmas and all things which engender happiness. Arthur Conti as young Ebenezer Rupert Grint as Bob Cratchit Andrea Riseborough as the Ghost of Christmas Past Tramell Tillman as the Ghost of Christmas Present Ian McKellen as Jacob Marley Daisy Ridley as the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come Sam Claflin as Fred Charlie Murphy as Mr. Fezziwig Ellie Bamber as Isabel Fezziwig Nicholas Day as Minister
WOLF @WOLF_Financial Jul 23, 2023 What will be the new name for a tweet once Twitter changes its name to X? Elon Musk @elonmusk · Jul 23, 2023 Replying to @WOLF_Financial An X
Logos of the A's, Mariners, White Sox, Pirates
A comic I drew, just a shitty comic with my mouse, probably could've put more time into it, anyways: it's a POV of me tying a fishing lure and casting a rod into a pond and then a little kid shows up out of nowhere to say -HEY MISTER FISHERMAN! DIDJA CATCH ANYTHING YET -WHAT'S THE BIGGEST FISH YOU EVER CAUGHT -D'JEVER CATCH A SHARK -WHAT ABOUT A KRAKEN
Approximate heights of various notable statues: Statue of Unity 240 m (790 ft) (incl. 58 m (190 ft) base) Statue of Liberty (Liberty Enlightening the World) 93 m (305 ft)
Statue of Unity, India, looking massive over its surroundings
copy-pasted from CBC article An image posted on the festival's website shows the star's rider — a list of requirements that many performers have that must be met in order for the show to go on. Shatner's requests, among other things, include fire breathers (many of them), a "Montreal Canadiens hockey sweater signed by John Stamos" and a dressing room "themed as Shatner's Shag Shack." And that's not all. He also has a long list of requests for the city of Chicago, including that he be allowed to sing Take Me out to the Ball Game at a Chicago baseball game, and that he get to co-anchor the weather with the city's most beloved meteorologist.
A chart whipped up by me showing how four words have been rebracketed in order to form new, original spinoff words based on our original mis-reading of the source word. Hamburger is Hamburg-er but was misread as Ham-burger leading to Cheeseburger etc. Labrad-oodle became Labra-doodle which led to Goldendoodle Alcohol-ic became Alco-holic which led to Workaholic Helico-pter became Heli-copter which led to Helipad
Jays Rays scoreboard showing Cease-Simpson
Sports See also: Commonwealth Games sports Given the urgency and lack of time to organise the event, this will be the lowest number of sports offered at the Games since 1994.[a] Starting with this edition, the Games will have only two compulsory sports:[104] 3x3 basketball (2) (details) Wheelchair 3x3 basketball (2) Artistic gymnastics (14) (details) Athletics (43) (details) Para-athletics (16) Bowls (4) (details) Para bowls (3) Boxing (14) (details) Cycling (details) Track cycling (18) Para track cycling (8) Judo (14) (details) Netball (1) (details) Swimming (42) (details) Para swimming (14) Weightlifting (16) (details) Para powerlifting (4) (details) Six of the included sports will include a Para sport element. These are Para Athletic, Para Track Cycling, 3x3 Wheelchair Basketball, Para Swimming, Para Bowls, and Para Powerlifting.[11] Sports and disciplines dropped from the previous Games include badminton, beach volleyball, Twenty20 cricket, diving, hockey, mountain biking, rhythmic gymnastics, road cycling, rugby sevens, squash, table tennis and para table tennis, triathlon and para triathlon and wrestling.
The dragon meme with 3 cool tough dragons (Milan Olympics, 2026 World Baseball Classic, 2026 FIFA World Cup) and one silly dragon with his tongue out (Commonwealth Games Glasgow 2026)
Tim Robinson in ITYSL saying "It's the same actor. Don't know if he's supposed to be the same person."
Ryan Dillon circled behind Tom Cruise in the photo at the World Cup
Kyle Gordon - Planet Of the Bass
Verse 1: Robbie Williams, Nicole Scherzinger ] Dignity for the weak in the arms of the brave To the ones we lost and the souls they saved One thing unites us and the best is yet to come We know who we are and what must be done Despite the fury, the hope, the hate If the devil rides, we will make him wait Love is the law and it's raging like a fire You've got the ball and you're driven by dеsire [Chorus: Robbie Williams & Nicole Scherzinger] Oh-oh-oh Aim high, fly by Destiny's in front of you (Oh-oh-oh-oh) It's a beautiful gamе and the dream is coming true (Oh-oh-oh-oh) (We love soccer! We rock!) One love, one kind This life's in love with you (Oh-oh-oh-oh) Your chase the sun and the world will run with you (Oh-oh-oh-oh)
A shot on the World Cup broadcast of the Meadowlands stadium in East Rutherford from above
Toronto Star headline: I'm a cyclist. I'm a driver. I'm a TTC rider
The latest Kelly comic (the Onion cartoonist) of a Scottish Sicko in a kilt and tam eating ranch dressing and going AYE... HA HA HA... AYE... he is burning an English flag
Old man watching Gone With The Wind in the Simpsons scene OLD MAN: didn't that lineup used to have a second baseman in it-- ORDERLIES AT NURSING HOME: Get up! You've been warned
Simpsons scene where Homer gets Ralph to re-tar his roof RALPH: (scene is very orange-lit): Mr. Ford the wildfire fumes are making me dizzy. DOUG FORD: Yeah, they'll do that.
the dialogue from the obnoxious gambling ads (I think it's Bet365?) that are always on TV here where a guy says "that swordfish won me the tournament!" except it's Willy and Harvey from Stardew Valley
The new Prime Minister's name is Andy Burnham. Okay but here it's Andy Kaufman burning the ham in the Simpsons steamed hams episode
Someone named Matt Burnell on Twitter making the exact same Louis CK joke
Mike Rogers on Facebook: For the fourth summer in a row, Canada has made its wildfire smoke Michiganders’ problem. The implications are real — and hazardous for you and your family — yet zero accountability for the country that constantly pushes crippling environmental regulations. Canada has to get its act together—and as your Senator, I’ll make sure of it.
Ad for humber college on the streetcar THE YOU YOU KNEW WAS IN YOU
Via u/jrrc on Hockey Reddit Closest NHL franchise to every point on earth A very complex map that I cannot explain in alt text based on geographic coordinates
The final grid with all of the labels! The alt text doesn't really do it justice but it's a lovely colourful grid now that it's all filled out. Those final blank spaces were: 1. 2020 Canadian COVID concert 2. 2020 US COVID concert 3. 2016 Tragically Hip concert 4. 2020 The Good Doctor series finale 5. 2020 The Golden Globes
Hot pink occupies 3 spots in 2015, 5 spots in 2016, 3 spots in 2017, 3 spots in 2018, 1 spot at #3 in 2019
The introduction to my color-coded table of dark green which ranked 2, 4, 6 in the year 2022 And grey which ranks, in a run from 2017-2024: 6th, 6th, 7th, 4th and 7th, 8th, 3rd and 10th, unranked, and 5th
Dark purple has been added: #2 in 2015, 2016, #1 in 2017, then three straight years of #3, then some appearances at 9 and 8 Dark blue appears sporadically at spots 5 through 10 over the years
I've added baby blue which is pervasive throughout many spots all over every year, including very dominant runs in 2021, 2023 and 2024. Then there's orange which ranks #2 in 2016, #1 in 2018, half of #3 in 2018 (?!) and #9 in 2024