@maybenotalizard.bsky.social

@maybenotalizard.bsky.social

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Hacker, Slacker, Midnight Snacker. Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway.

A depiction of the Pokemon eevee with short spine syndrome
Close up photo of a leopard frog in freshly mowed grass
A play on the movie poster for Dune depicting everyone's friend Jimothy
A cat with a crab carapace helmet looking at you demanding to be worshipped.
Beverly: Wait a minute. I know you! You're James Worthy. You play basketball for the LA Lakers. Tall Klingon: I'm sorry, but you must have me confused with someone else. My name is Koral. I'm the Klingon pilot. Beverly: I think you're the greatest, but my captain says you don't work hard enough on defense. And he says that lots of times, you don't even run down court. And that you don't really try, except during the playoffs. Koral: The hell I don't!
Sulu: captain? The check engine light just came on
Movie poster in black and white featuring a closeup of the Gorn captain wearing round sunglasses with a reflection of Captain Kirk. Poster reads: The Metrons made them superstars Natural Gorn Killers
Capt Janeway: Advice, Mr Tuvok? Tuvok: A photon torpedo Janeway: BETTER advice, Mr Tuvok Tuvok: Two photon torpedos
*sigh* Kira please. Ben, Ben, Ben... It's fine, I know what I'm doing... *kira is holding a spiky bat with the label "negotiating with Dukat stick" *
*Inside Mount Doom* Samwise: Frodo! Frodo: Please Sam no, not again Samwise: If I take one more step, I'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been
Random Kazon: You, Janeway, will come alone by shuttle. Seska: We're not falling for your "We're beaming someone over to negotiate" Ambassador Torpedo routine. *Janeway and Checotay share a look* Janeway: But he's so friendly though
Spock: I have a half brother Kirk: Different mothers? Spock: Shark attack
Mark Twain: My boss keeps touching me inappropriately. Troi: You should go to HR. Twain: But I'm self employed.
Picard: Back in the 2000s people paid money to name stars in this sector. They believed that we would actually call the stars those names! Riker: surely that's the biggest rip off ever? Data: Captain, we are now approaching Gary Ballsack 22
Picard: I found a recipe from Morocco for homemade dinner rolls. It called for fresh thyme by mine was outdated. Nevertheless, I used it anyway. Riker: How did it turn out? Picard: You know, I really liked that old thyme Moroccan roll. Riker: *face palm*
If everyone on Star Trek: TNG wore the same uniform as Counselor Troi
No I don't want to talk about how I got these scratches. But if you want to know how many squirrels fit in a pillowcase, the answer is nine.
When you turn up late to the party and everyone's already on drugs
Diana: tell me about your mother. Barclay: she used to say I could be an idiot sometimes. Diana: how did that make you feel? Barclay: it was nice to have her permission.
Her: I don't know how I can pay my rent... *Unbuttons blouse* Him: oh I think there's a way... *Unzips pants* Everyone else playing Monopoly:
Captain Kirk sitting with a slash through his shirt and visible blood trail: "so I'm sitting there, barbeque sauce on my tiddies"
Hieroglyphs depict a scene of ancient Egyptians planning health packs, weapons, and ammo around their tombs so Lara Croft can use them one day
Miss Frizzle: Battle stations, everyone!!! Kids: We never violated the Prime Directive at my old school...
*grimace* the face you make when she asks you to try something new. *still angry* the face you make when you realize it's a spa