Matt Bernhard

@mbernhard.com

815 Followers 495 Following

I do election stuff and security stuff, and sometimes election security stuff. https://mbernhard.com

A newspaper headline reading “Sinner’s absence leaves men’s field wide open,” referring to Jannik Sinner at the French Open.
An email indicating that I have put a deposit down on season tickets for Detroit’s new PWHL team.
A panning shot of the world's longest salad bar and world's second longest sneeze guard, ending with a man sneezing onto a tray of hardboiled eggs just past the end of the sneeze guard.
A screen grab of the beginning of an MLive article that reads: "GRAND RAPIDS, MI - The OK White Conference enjoyed a solid season on the girls high school basketball circuit this winter, with two teams – GR Catholic Central and Forest Hills Northern – winning district titles." The screen grab shows the highlighted text "The OK White Conference"
An iPhone screen widget showing a black dot in a field of purple and text that just reads “Above +33%”
The butterfly meme with a sign that says “TO ALL PATIENTS PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH THE COMPUTERS THEY CONTAIN CONFIDENTIAL PATIENT INFORMATION.” Asking “is this HIPAA compliance”?
A black swallowtail caterpillar munching on some fennel flower buds
A photo of a slush puppie machine
A photograph of an edition of “Catholic Cemetery Magazine,” a real publication that I swear I am not making up. The magazine is open to an article titled “Harnessing AI for Innovation in Cemetery Services.” The article goes on for pages about various ways Catholic cemetery managers can use AI to “enhanced their customer experience.”
A photo of Sid Richardson College at Rice University, with a giant banner hanging off the side saying “eat me aggies”, with the Texas A&M logo as part of the phrase “eat me”: “eATMe”
A Buttersafe comic depicting a giant hellspawn saying "You should not have come here, human. Why do you cross through my domain?". A stick figure human says "I was on my way to the kitchen for a snack and I got lost". The demons says "You ended up in the twelfth plane of torment on your way to the kitchen?" And the man says "I am not a smart man."
An outlook error screen saying "Your message can't be displayed right now. Please check your network connection and try again later." Obviously, I'm posting this, so I have a network connection.
A photo of page 123’s last paragraph, which reads “In the act of creation, an artist stands at the nexus of heaven and earth and pulls the unseen into the realm of the seen. This makes the artist an active participant in the construction of the universe, incarnating artifacts of the dreaming universal mind. The act of creation takes nerve, pluck, and audacity. I propose that all human beings, in homage to their inner divine spark, should endeavor to create art of some variety. Further, I suggest that all art should aim ludicrously high in its ambition, for a work of art whose ultimate goal is anything less than revolution is mere decoration. There is no shame, however, in settling for beauty, novelty, and truth when revolutionary aspirations fall short.”
A picture of the book “Liber Indigo: the Affordances of Magic” by Justin Kirkwood
A photo of the box for a Flipper Zero.
A picture of two blackened chicken breasts on a white cutting board, with a quartered lime in the upper right hand corner. One of the chicken breasts has a combustion Inc thermometer sticking out of it.
A screenshot of a skeet link preview by Awful Announcing with a picture of Timothee Chalamet on College Game day. Below it, the previewed headline reads: "Scott Van Pelt blasts Timothee Chalamet's 'College Gameday", then there's a line break, after which it continues "detractors: 'How miserable are you?'"
A quote from the USDA: “Regulated garbage includes all waste material derived whole or in part from fruits, vegetables, meats or other plant or animal (including poultry) material, and other refuse of any character that has been associated with any such material.”
A photo of an airplane at a gate with a DO&CO food service truck pulled up to it. On the side of the truck is printed “The gourmet entertainment company”, under which the phrase “REGULATED GARBAGE” appears
The news ticket in the DTW Delta lounge, showing a match between the Anaheim Ducks, a hockey team, and the Seattle Seahawks, a football team.
The logo for the Idaho University Vandals (yeah it’s a weird name for a mascot)
A table lamp that is vaguely flesh colored and shaped like a boob, complete with a chromed nipple that can be used to turn the lamp on or off. There is a label pointing to the nipple reading, “try me!”
A ripe Roma tomato with indentations on the bottom that look like a happy face
A rat terrier asleep with a rawhide roll in his mouth, which is preventing his head from actually resting on the couch.
A screen capture of the Wikipedia article for Chappell Roan’s song “Good Luck Babe!”, which starts with the sentence “”Good Luck Babe!” received critical acclaim from music critics” (which is highlighted in the screen capture).
The album cover for John Cougar Mellencamp's 1983 album "Uh-huh", featuring an airbrushed rendering of the artist with a Bon Jovi-esque haircut and piecing blue eyes, wearing a white t-shirt, bluejeans, and what appear to be loafers, against a purple backdrop and airbrushed fairies dancing around his head. Truly, one of the album covers of all time.
The Wikipedia page for the hip hop group Public Enemy, with a note that reads 'For technical reasons, "Public Enemy #1" redirects here. For uses of that term, see Public Enemy No. 1 (disambiguation).'
A hand holding the album jacket for Ibibio Sound Machine's 2022 release "Electricity", with a dog lying on the floor in the background.
A Strymon bluesky reverb pedal
Wilson from Home Improvement talking over the fence to Tim Allen
Buster from the TV Show Arthur, with the caption "You really think someone would do that, just go on the Internet and tell lies?"
A screenshot of my browser displaying the YouTube TV stream of the Detroit Lions at Carolina Panthers, which is being streamed as a full screen of the color yellow. I'm kind of at a loss to describe this, it's literally just a video stream of yellow pixels.
Berkeley, a chow/labrador/lots of other breeds mix, innocently sleeping on the couch.