Mike Isely

@mcisely.bsky.social

6755 Followers 7695 Following

💙💙💙💙 8647 Happily married software engineer and windmill tilter. Pro-Democracy, -civil rights, -science, -choice, and -vaccine... Anti-moron. 🚫 Crypto 🚫 MAGA MAGA folks can just **** right off. Verification cross-links: https://linkedin.com/in/mcisely

[ICE agents talking to a TSA agent at the airport]
TSA agent: But you're not properly trained for airport security.
ICE agents: We're not properly trained for immigration enforcement either.

Trump's Ten Commandments

1. You shall have no other gods before Me.
2. You shall have no idols except Me.
3. You shall not take My name in vain.
4. The "Sabbath" shall be known henceforth as Donaldday, and it's holy as hell.
5. Honor My mother and father.
6. You're allowed to kill if you're on My team.
7. Ditto adultery.
8. Ditto stealing.
9. Ditto false witnessing, unless you're not on My team, in which case will be very, very sorry.
10. "Covet" is not a real word.

ICE Accidentally Sends Maduro Back to Venezuela

ATTENTION! The LEFT is using fake hornet nests to hide face recognition cameras. If you see one, beat it with a stick to destroy their camera!

Early in the night, the ghost of FDR appears. When Trump asks him how he can make America great again, FDR replies: "Think only of the people; do not make laws based on hatred, bigotry, or with thoughts of lining your own pockets. Trump's face sours, and he yells, "FAKE NEWS!"

A few hours later, he is awakened by George Washington's ghost. Trump asks, "How can I make America great again?" Washington replies, "I would suggest you never tell a lie." This infuriates Trump.

Around three in the morning, he is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Again, Trump asks, "How can I make America great again?" Lincoln responds: "Go to the theatre."

Things I trust more than Donald Trump:
1. Flint, Michigan tap water
2. Gas station sushi
3. Bill Cosby as the bartender
4. Taco Bell bathrooms
5. Tom Brady putting air in my tires
6. A shark with a "pet me" sign
7. A North Korean trial
8. A shot from Dr. Kevorkian
9. A Casey Anthony daycare
10 A fart when I have diarrhea

(Illustration that when we all stand up to a despot, we will prevail)

Cheddar as a kitten

Chloe (Tuxedo kitty), Cheddar (Orange tabby), and Jinx (Siamese mix)