Michael, Beetle Lord

@michael.jagreview.com

190 Followers 211 Following

Personal account of the guy that runs Just Another Game Review @jagreview.com Posting almost exclusively about video games in a desperate attempt to get my Discover feed to do the same (it's not working, someone please help me).

A man in a yellow jacket fights in an arena against various thugs and riot police, punching and kicking to the beat of the Terraria Overworld Day theme.
Two gigantic player characters dance in the ocean next to an island.
An item called a "matter recompositer", which lets you teleport to a random, explored space on the map.
A player character is shown on a top-down grid standing next to 53 clockwork beetles.
A map with a large pool of salty water and dozens of map tiles filled with streaks of a multi-color slurry of other fluids like blood, slime, and brackish water.
A player character is shown on a top-down grid surrounded by 21 clockwork beetles.
A text box from a player that reads "what's with the middle school arguments when we're all uncs now LOL"
A Steam achievement titled "Snail Lord", earned for producing ten million snails.
Three Steam achievements for clearing the game My Friendly Neighborhood with an A rank, an S rank, and an S rank on normal or harder difficulty respectively. The icons next to each achievement spell the word "ass".
A stack of t-shirts with the face of actor Pedro Pascal on them. The top two shirts are folded in such a way that his nose is missing and no space exists between his eyes and mouth.
A Steam game collection with 62 games inside titled "Demos (Unplayed)".
A ball of slime with a cat-like face sits in the middle of an aura that indicates lightning is about to strike. Lightning then strikes the ground, sending the slime flying towards a nearby wall, who appears unharmed and unbothered by the experience.
A player character from the game Terraria, who is wearing a giant fish costume and standing next to a smaller flying fish.
A scene from the show Invincible with spliced audio that depicts the character Omni-Man trying to convince his son to become a bee.
A Steam listing for the game Train Sim World 6, launching in approximately 4 weeks. The Standard Edition costs $50, the Deluxe Edition costs $80, and the Special Edition costs $120.
A dialogue box showing writing from a sign that reads "It doesn't count as stealing if it's...on the ground, all over the place, right?"
A little robot in a winter coat bobs side to side and says "I'm so happy with how this turned out. I'm even doing my happy dance! Do you like my happy dance?" The player selects a dialogue option that says "Not really..." to which the robot sadly replies "Oh...I thought everyone loved my happy dance. I guess I'll stop then." The player then crouches in front of the robot in shame over making this choice.
A little robot made out of recycled scrap crouches on the floor and spins around, feet squeaking with every step.
A man in a yellow jacket punches and kicks waves of thugs and riot police to the beat of a rock song.
A man in a suit walks towards the camera and removes his sunglasses, dumbfounded by what he sees off-screen. The camera then shifts behind him and reveals him looking at an AI-generated edit of the scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz as he exclaims "What the fuck is this piece of shit?"
A comic panel edited to depict a man holding a whole lemon up to his mouth with chopsticks. A text bubble next to him reads "Eat your lemons, June".
A "You Win!" stats screen for a Scrabble-style game with the following stats: Words Spelled: 29 Perks Purchased: 11 Best Word: Zones (148 points)
A picture of a cartoon cow. Beneath it is large text that says "PERHAPS".
A girl with pink hair and horse-like ears looks up happily at the camera with her arm stretched out towards it. Next to her is a big "First Place" graphic showing that she won the final race of the campaign, the URA Finale Finals.
An 11 by 10 grid of thumbnails of Umamusume: Pretty Derby video clips.
A man in a yellow jacket punches and kicks through a group of thugs, riot police, and mannequin women in sync with the beat of "MEGALOVANIA" from the Undertale soundtrack.
An excerpt from a letter that reads "Thank you for spending so long with us in Erinn. I heard you have spent 4372 hours and 27 minutes in Erinn to date. It warms my heart to know how much you've always loved Erinn, and to think of you continuing your journey."
A group of sixteen anime girls with horse-like ears and tails run along a racetrack. The player's trainee, Vodka, sits in second place until the final few seconds, before achieving a burst of speed and ending the race in first place.
Three posts from the Umamusume forum on the website Reddit. Each one is pretending to perform an ancient ritual of good luck by using a jumbled mess of symbols made to mimic hieroglyphs interspersed with English statements like "Kitasan Black" and "Support Card".
The camera swirls around an anime horse girl and caps off with a "First Place" graphic to indicate that she won a race. However, as the cutscene fades out, an error window pops up that says "There was a connection error. Error code: 394".
A girl with glasses and horse-like ears looks towards the camera with a slightly annoyed expression. Next to her is a big "First Place" graphic showing that she won the final race of the campaign, the URA Finale Finals.
A conversation between two Umamusume, which are anime girls with horse-like ears and tails. The first, named Silence Suzuka, nervously says "Good morning." The second, named Special Week, replies "Aaah!? An Umamusume! Wait, I mean...Suzuka?! Huh? Um, I...What!?"
A girl with horse-like ears smiles at the camera and holds her hands up next to her head. The caption below reads "ABSOLUTE BAKUSHIN".
A rapid-fire series of clips of anime horse girls either shouting or making other loud vocalizations.
A track race between five horse girls begins with all five neck-and-neck. The player hits the fast-forward button to skip to the last leg of the race, and the player's girl, Gold Ship, is so far ahead of the others that they don't even appear on screen as the camera zooms in to show the finish line.
A small girl with horse-like ears and a horse-like tail stands in front of a fountain. She cries as she says to the player "Big Brother...I don't want to lose. I want to wear the clothes I made with you...and win!"
The player presses a button that tells the horse girl they're training to rest and recover energy. The game fast-forwards through a cutscene that ends with the horse girl standing next to another girl as cartoon impact sounds play.
A visual novel text log between the unnamed player character and a girl named Gold Ship. Player says: "I hear something curious on my way home." Gold Ship says: "Blip! Blip! Blip! We've got a bogey! I repeat: we've got a bogey! Team Golshi, deploy immediately! Roger! Let's go, Trainer! Boo-yah!" Player says: "And with that, she promptly stuffs me into a burlap sack and trundles me off..."
A girl with horse-like ears happily runs towards the camera, waving at it with both hands before knocking the camera over with a dropkick. She then stands over the downed camera and waves at it with a smile on her face.
A girl with horse-like ears laughs proudly with her head turned up towards the sky. Next to her is a big "First Place" graphic showing that she won the final race of the campaign, the URA Finale Finals.
The player loads into the main menu of the game Umamusume: Pretty Derby. The camera turns towards a jukebox that is playing the song "Bakushin Bakushin Bakushinshin" by Sakura Bakushin. The song's lyrics are just the word "Bakushin" repeated over and over again in time with the backing track.
Two dialog boxes from a character named Flamel. Combined, it reads: "KA-BOOM! Ha ha ha ha! It's just a gift, unfortunately it won't explode."
A girl with pink hair, pink eyes, and pink horse-like ears waves happily at the camera. A banner below her says "Bestest Prize Haru Urara".
A Steam achievement listing for the game "Fantasy Life i: The Girl Who Steals Time" showing 100% achievement completion. Below it is an achievement called "Dream-like Fantasy Life", which is unlocked for earning all other achievements and has a 1.8% earn rate among players.
A man in a yellow jacket beats up a pair of thugs to the beat of a rap song. A new wave of enemies spawns, including a riot police officer who screams as he takes a swing towards the man. Before his attack can connect, the level ends and a results screen appears as new music plays.
A man in a yellow jacket punches and kicks waves of thugs, riot police, and mannequin women to the beat of a rap song.
A small pickup truck filled with cargo drives quickly down a snowy road. The truck takes a sharp right turn that causes it to veer off the road and tip onto its side, only to inexplicably bounce and return to an upright position undamaged. The truck then slowly drives back onto the road to proceed towards its destination as if nothing happened.
A little blue blob critter with a raindrop-shaped head and a pair of noise-cancelling headphones sits next to a large label that says "Overstimulated Michael".
A little blue blob critter with a raindrop-shaped head sits next to a large label that says "Original Michael".
A girl named Yuelia stands on top of an altar. She has long white hair tied into pigtails and is wearing a long white dress with blue and gold accents. A dialog box reads "Thank you so much! I'm finally back to my regular form!"
A dialogue box with a pixel art rendition of a pig head in the bottom-right corner. The dialogue is spoken by a character named Pig, who says "I feel scared and/or confused!"
A round pixelated frog stands in front of three round houses. The two in front are shaped and colored like a chicken's head and a penguin's head, while the back house is shaped and colored just like the frog's head.
The player is playing a typing game where the words you type can trigger character actions and dialogue. The game asks the player to type a word for an action that would desecrate an altar. The player types the word "shart", which triggers a fart noise and an animation of rocks falling from the ceiling. The game accepts this word and progresses the cutscene in which the altar's owner curses the player.
The user is playing a typing game where the words you type trigger character actions or dialogue. The user, who is standing in a cave, types the word "shart", which triggers a fart noise accompanied by a camera shake and an animation of rocks falling from the ceiling.
Two Steam library collections. The first is titled "Demos (Played)" with 18 games, and the second is titled "Demos (Unplayed)" with 111 games.
A Steam library collection titled "Demos (Unplayed)" with 111 games in it.
A list of on/off switches for Unhook options, including "Hide Live Chat", "Hide Video Sidebar", "Hide Home Feed", and "Redirect to Subscriptions".
A YouTube chat summary that reads "Viewers are making controversial and offensive comments about women's rights, transgender people, and minorities. They are also discussing the gameplay of a new video game.
A "Game Over" screen that shows a run that ended on round 107 with a new high score of 86.2 quadrillion points.
A game board with three banners overlaid in front of it that say "You broke the game", "Restock x10,000", and "DIVINE SCORE".