J. R. Eldridge

@misreadbible.bsky.social

360 Followers 201 Following

British satirical author and creator of The MisreadBible series, which parodies the Bible with irreverent wit and a dash of theological side-eye. https://www.misreadbible.com

Wann duscht du?
die Mannschaft (team)
In English: Try saying ‘Brauchst du mehr Kleidung?’ in German.
Was möchtest du, Schatz?
Ja, ich studiere Kunst.
Ich besuche Max.
Mein Bruder ist Verkäufer.
Meine Wurst ist gut My sausage is good
Meine Schwester ist lustig
Freut mich, Max
Kekse und Tee, tschüss
Mein Onkel liebt meine Tante.
A camel with a board, reading, ‘Repent, the end is nigh!’
A book called ‘Finding Jesus’.
Kitchen roll called Regina Blitz
I had tampon with maple syrup Fucking autocorrect! Gammon
The head of a fan with a cage. The instruction manual is inside the cage.
A screenshot of a Google knowledge panel for me (J. R. Eldridge) with a BookBub pane on the right-hand side, with the cover of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe, under 'Books by JR Eldridge'.
Sign with image of gull swooping down, with the words, ‘Please don’t scare your food with seabirds. It makes hills aggressive and harms the development of eider ducks and ducklings.’
Scene depicting the fall of Jericho. The Israelite army stand poised to invade as the walls of the city begin to tumble down. Joshua, who was caught off guard, flees the scene.
Preface ix Acknowledgements xiii Introduction 1 It’s All Downhill from Here 1 Crossing the Jordan 7 Be Strong and Courageous 7 Rahab’s Pleasure Palace 11 God Dam! 15 Just a Little off the Top 21 A Terry-fying Experience 25 The Conquest 27 Joshua Fit the Battle 27 ¡Ai, Caramba! 34 A Righteous Raffle 37 The King and Ai 41 Noded-Adom! 49 The Loophole 54 What Goes Around… 62 Once More unto the Breach 69 By the Waters of Merom 73 The Rest of the Land 81 The Promised Land 85 You are Now Very Old! 85 Caleb’s Convin-ictions 88 God Killed Our Daddy 2: The Shriek-quel 91 Division Over the Land 96 Our Survey Says… 99 A Lot of Allotting by Lot 102 Four Chapters Later… 108 Bye 111 That Settles It! 115 The Transjordan Altar-cation 115 Big Trouble in Little Hebron 121 For Fuck’s Sake! 127 A Whole-Ass Proposal 133 I am Now Very Old! 139 At a Loose End 145 Strike the Shepherd 149 Israelites: The Next Degeneration 152