mjfgates

@mjfgates.bsky.social

1663 Followers 549 Following

Retired. Widower. Formerly "that FC with the voice." One of the most ancient shitposters on the internet.

map of rainfall in Colorado, which is mostly not QUITE desert but close.
Seattle's main public library, a wedgy structure covered in diamond-shape glass panes.
The "Does a dinosaur wail?" page from Jane Yolen and Mark Teague's excellent "How Do Dinosaurs Get Well Soon?"
It's a heap o'fluffy bunnies.
The Village People, with construction worker guy front and center.
Doug from the animated series "Doug," as the superhero "The Quail," holding a bottle of poison as he flies over the city.
The "exploded bug" diagram from "How To Keep Your Volkswagen Alive," showing pretty much every mechanical part of the car spread out on the floor with a couple of people staring at that.
Poster for Ralph Bakshi's "Wizards."
The "Arc de Trump," but with a big guillotine blade installed in the arch part and the head chopped off the human figure on top.
An ad depicting some guy wearing .. it's like an empty glasses frame, with boxes loosely held in the frame, with round lenses in the boxes. Also there's some weird-ass lumps on the earpiece. Maybe it's genAI, I'm not sure.
A cased socket set, with some extenders. Look at how they gleam, how every socket and driver bit rests sensuously in its own pocket in the foam. Just imagine the click-click-click of the ratchet, the tiny groan that escapes the metal as you tighten the bolt. Yeah, baby, you wanted that 13mm, didn't you.
A hedgehog standing in mowed grass, looking cute and spiky.
Tom from "Tom and Jerry" with his head in the shape of a frying pan because he's just been whacked with a skillet.
An SdKfz 251, German WWII-era half track. Note the overlapping roadwheels same size as the drive sprocket, and the complete lack of return rollers.
A map of Iran with red circles over the entire southern third of the country.
The FEV vat from the first Fallout game.
It's the Fallout mascot, doing that thumb thing.
A heap of baby geese swimming. An adult goose is in the background, possibly threatening the photographer.
the goose from the "what views, motherfucker?" meme
A woman sitting behind a glass of water. The water glass has hugely magnified the lower part of her face.
A still from the "That's a penis!" meme gif, only the caption is "That's a goat!" for some reason. It's not my fault, this is how I found it.
xkcd: people standing by a giant redwood, one person is saying "Did you know the mighty redwood is actually the same species as broccoli and kale? It's just a different cultivar." caption: Every year or two, botanists add another plant to Brassica oleracea and see if anyone calls them on it. https://xkcd.com/2827/
The abominable Dr. Phibes, rising from playing the organ.
The Aurora, from "Subnautica."
An Orpington hen, sitting on my knee in the vet office. A convenient fecal sample is on the floor in the background.
The Popehat hat, with extremely badly drawn gold fringe.
A chunk of the map from the boardgame "Risk," clearly showing the United States-Europe connection.
A ball python curled up in an enclosure.
Jean, an Orpington (I think) hen. She says "berk" and eats peas.
It's Santa Cthulhu!
reply Caitlin @sickbaycheese.bsky.social I go through this every time I have to shower. 3 likes.
EVE Online screen shot, showing the "buy orders" part of a market window. At the bottom, in green and blue, are a couple of real purchase orders. Then there's a huge pile of PO's in black that do not reach the trade station; they can't affect anything in the real market, but if you don't pay attention it looks like they can.
The Seattle Public Library main branch. It's a really odd, tilty building with angled glass walls that are lit from within.
A Chrysler K-Car ("LeBaron," I think). This one is shiny, unlike every one I have seen in real life which all looked like crap.
A word cloud. "Those, wait, fine, least, fuck," and a bunch of other English.
Graph of prices of Fernite Carbide from May sometime to present. Starts at about 75, there's a spike to 138 on May 28, and it steadily drops from there for six months.
It's Tom Bombadil, but instead of the traditional bralette he's got two of the face from darth's pfp crudely pasted on.
Section of the original cover for Bujold's "Paladin of Souls," with Ista
A computer rendering of a lot of very low-polygon people in solid grey, standing with their arms down at their sides.
The "say the line, bart!" meme from the Simpsons, with text changed to: "Say the line, Mark!" "You peasants are nothing without me, nothing" mad cheering
A cartoon drawing of the skull of the devil, saying "I dunno"
A sad bee, holding a "Save the Bees!" sign.
Japanese guy slamming on a taiko drum, with meme text "DOOM... DOOM" added.
A page from the Voynich Manuscript, depicting some sort of plant-like thing with lots of green blobs, with the usual text stuff written around it.
A busy farmer's market... with giant hideous spiders drawn on the booths, in very bad MSPaint. I guess they're spiders, five legs is spiders, right?
A nice photo of some people walking in Portland, with a giant tyrannosaurus crudely scribbled in. The tyrannosaur is also missing a leg.
A Soviet poster featuring a guy waving a huge red banner. The banner has Marx, Engels, and Lenin, all in profile facing left.
The setup for polymerizing acrylic liquid before it is spun out into fiber via spinnerets. It's a LOT of pipes going every which way, and a couple of 1950s-looking control consoles with buttons and stuff, and a big round object that's probably called something like "The Reactor." The whole gizmo is about twenty feet square.
Sickos dot jpg, only the text on his shirt is edited to say "SICA."
A pair of horses pulling a disc harrow across a field.
same Homer Simpson image from the replied-to post, only there's a "brrt" sound effect coming out of his, uh, waist
The Bat-Sub chugging along underwater. Presumably Batman is inside.
Passing a torch.
some caramel-covered green apples. photo credit https://thegirlinspired.com/about/
A really big spider.
Tucker Carlson getting his balls tanned by the Mysterious Glowing Device
A MiG-21 fighter, nose number "4128," on the tarmac. No visible national markings so probably privately owned.
A genAI image of a pencil. The point is pointing about fifteen degrees out of line, the ferrule is way too long, there's a bit of ferrule at the point end. Also it's round not hexagonal, so would be totally useless for rewinding a cassette tape.
Ten cybertrucks stacked in a vague pyramid shape, driving through the desert, done with Cheapass Photoshop.
the same "potato in the tailpipe" I'm replying to, only with a second taillight added to make it look like a weird face