Bradford

@mountunpleasant.bsky.social

240 Followers 1106 Following

Biped; dog brother; attorney but not that kind There ain’t gonna be any middle anymore. Now let me go. I have more shit to steal.

Article headline “scientists capture first footage of human embryo implanting in a uterus”
Screenshot of scam text informing recipient of Coinbase withdrawal code. The recipient responded with an image of a clasping hand in front of a red-light stock market board with the caption “Nooo! My imaginary money!”
Screenshot from news website. On the left is a photo of a pontoon boat on the water. On the right is the headline “ways to go boating - without having to buy a boat”
Picture of a wooden deck and chairs with a coating of wet snow. There is a snow covered hemlock tree in the foreground and a snowy yard and forest in the background.
Golden retriever with white face lying on carpet with the top of his head pressed against the triangular corner of the doorway
Trunk of a large tree in foreground with a wooden sign hanging upside down with the word “WORRY” written in all-caps. In the background is a forest scene with more trees and forest floor.
A golden retriever lying down with his eyes closed. He has a blue plastic basketball toy balanced on his front paws.
A large golden retriever and a black and white cat sit on grey living room carpet, barely off the brown hardwood floor of the kitchen.
A string of lights in the shape of golden retrievers, strung along a fireplace shield.
Male Jeopardy contestant, shown from the waist up, in front of background of blue curtains. The man has short brown/reddish hair and a trim mustache and beard of the same color. He is wearing a black suit jacket, a red dress shirt, and a black tie. His head is slightly cocked to the side, he is smiling while speaking, and both of his hands are raised to mid-torso as he tells a story.
Screengrab from website The Oatmeal titled “What the World War Z movie has in common with the book”. There is a Venn Diagram of two circles. The left circle says “the book tells the story of the geo-political, religious, environmental, and social changes that result from the zombie war, from a variety of countries and a variety of perspectives, hence WORLD War Z.” The right circle says “the movie tells the story of Brad Pitt running around shooting things and outrunning explosions in order to save humanity.” The overlapping section between the circles says “it’s titled World War Z*.” Below the Diagram reads “*I’m not exaggerating. Other than having zombies the title is basically the only thing the book and movie have in common. No lobo. No Battle of Yonkers. No ‘total war’ theory. No American refugees fleeing on rafts to Cuba. No social commentary. Just Brad Pitt sprinting a lot and shooting stuff.”
A golden retriever with a white face is resting his chin on a man’s hand. The man’s arm has a blue sweater and a white watch band. The dog looks disappointed because there are no more pretzels to share.
A yellow post card ad for a septic cleaning service. The top of the card reads “it’s time to clean your septic tank.”
Screenshot of headline from ESPN. Black text on white background. Headline reads: “Sources: Bears ask to talk to Cowboys’ McCarthy”
GIF from Muppets Take Manhattan, where Kermit the Frog - disguised as a broadway agent - forces his own script on broadway producer Leonard Winesop saying “But I got this boffo, socko script for broadway called Manhattan Melodies”
A golden retriever with a white face looking at the camera over his shoulder, sitting between the picture taker’s knees
A large golden retriever with a white face is chewing on two sections of split antlers. The antlers are tied together with shiny green, red, and gold ribbons that are decoratively curled at the ends.
Two split antler dog chews tied together with shiny red, green, and gold ribbons, sitting on top of a black metal fireplace stove
A white mug filled with coffee held in front of a fireplace and white-tiled chimney wall. The fireplace has a string of yellow golden retriever holiday lights strung along the top. The mug has a picture of Ryan Gosling from “Barbie” and the phrase “I am Kenough” in pink text.
A Simpsons screenshot from S6,E16 “Bart vs Australia”. The Simpson family is fleeing the US embassy under armed marine guard to escape an angry mob outside the frame. Lisa is saying to Bart “I’m impressed you able to write so legibly on your own butt.”
Screenshot of portion of order for a t-shirt from Blue Heron Farm. The shirt is grey, and has a black and white illustration of a baby goat and the phrase “become ungovernable”
Screenshot showing school emblems for Baylor “BU” and Texas Tech “TT” spelling “BUTT”
Screencap from ‘Friday the 13th’. An old man with a bicycle calls from the shadows at characters off screen “(softly) You’re doomed. You’re all doomed.”
Screencap of Norm Macdonald on SNL’s Weekend Update with a quote “Now this might strike some viewers as harsh but I believe everyone involved in this story should die.”
A Barred Owl sitting high up in a tree. The owl is large with brown and tan feathers, and large brown eyes, and is looking down at the camera.
A fuzzy brown and black caterpillar crawling on a wooden plank above muddy ground
A pack of coffee with an illustration of a skeleton that’s dressed and posed like Ash from “Army of Darkness” and a woman posed like the heroine of the movie, Sheila. The coffee is branded “Army of Dark Chocolate”
“Guy in hot dog suit” meme with Ronald Reagan’s face
A screenshot of an iPhone weekly screen time report stating “last week you averaged 2 minutes of screen time per day on this device”
Meme of two white cats in a grassy lawn. The rear cat is crouching with its mouth open. The cat in the foreground has its eyes closed in an annoyed expression. The picture is captioned with the front cat’s thoughts “He’s behind me making that fucking face again. I don’t even have to turn around to know it. God damn it. I hate that goddamned stupid face he makes. God fucking damnit.”
Great Blue Heron standing hunting in a high creek. The water’s surface is brown from flood runoff. The heron’s profile is reflected on the surface of the water.
A Green Heron stands on an above-water section of a branch that is mostly submerged in a creek.
A pint glass sitting on a bar table, filled to the absolute brim with beer
Screencap stating I was the 1,055,955 member of Bluesky, and that I joined September 18, 2023.
Long black rat snake climbing bark of large tree
A large fallen tree lies across a hiking path. There is a shallow cut into the top side of the tree trunk where someone started to saw through the log but stopped.
Juvenile snapping turtle suns itself on a log in a pond, behind a row of cattail stalks
A ten inch long red hawk tail feather on a wood table background, a US quarter next to it for scale
Screenshot of an iPhone email inbox with a message from Kaiser Permanente with the subject line “explore mental health resources”
A golden retriever sticks his giant head toward the camera holder who is seated on a cement patio
Gritty is waving a pride flag
A golden retriever with a white face smiles while lying down in the grass in the shade beneath a tree
A mature golden retriever lies on his back with his legs in the air. He is lying in a plaid armchair on top of a fleece blanket with a pattern of dogs wearing coats.
A doggy wooded path leading between trees into misty background
Mushrooms growing beside a forest trail in front of a hole left by a fallen tree.
Twitter conversation screenshot First account “Ted Cruz went to Princeton with the Menendez brothers” Second account “That must have been awful, but it doesn’t excuse what they did”
Wookiee Jedi from The Acolyte, or maybe Chris Wilson, the drummer for Ted Leo and the Pharmacists. It’s a large male with facial hair and man bun.
Wax statue of Abe Lincoln looking like he’s being blasted back into his chair by a cutting edge Maxell sound system
Hotel TV with error message “sorry that didn’t go as planned. Let’s try that again and see if that fixes things.” And below a text prompt “try again”
A blue square cushion floating on the surface of a canal with “Duckling Float” stenciled in black lettering
Golden retriever smiling and not respecting personal space
Three male whitetail deer wade in the creek. Two more deer are on the bank in the shade of an overhanging tree. The deer have newly regrown fuzzy antlers. The ruins of an old well are the foreground, with vines growing out of the well’s opening.
A shirtless child wearing a gold chain and a sideways baseball cap screaming behind the glass behind an interview behind an ABC Sports reporter and the coach of the Oilers
A man’s torso is half under a Christmas tree trying to adjust the tree skirt. Next to him a large golden retriever is also half under the tree, maybe helping, but assuredly not being helpful.
An orange cat lies under a side table with one paw braced on a table leg
Small elderly grey cat gets head scritches while demanding conversation
A giant, brindle coated hound mix fails to navigate the space between the coffee table and couch, and after realizing she’s stuck elects to lick the coffee table
Large snapping turtle sprawled on a log
A large golden retriever stubbornly sits on a man’s foot.