John MacLeod

@mrjohnmacleod.bsky.social

215 Followers 126 Following

God’s own third wheel. Human wreckage. Abandon hope all ye who enter. https://linktr.ee/mrjohnmacleod

“Now that’s what I call quite a bad accident!”
A “Now that’s what I call music” style image that reads “Now that’s what I call massive worms!”
That enormously happy vegetable-grower cradling a massive onion.
Slightly illuminated expanse of blue, thanks to the tint of my phone case.
Facebook post from ‘High Lane Oatcake Shop’, posting a photo from deep winter, of their snow-covered premises and surrounding roads, with the caption “Can you believe this photo? Feels impossible on a day like today!” I have commented “That’s because it IS impossible on a day like today!”
Post in the “What’s on in Hanley, Stoke-on-Trent” facebook group. “Hi everyone, I’m looking for a professional newborn baby” At this point the next word begins on a new line. “photographer in or around Stoke-on-Trent…”
“To Uncle David, happy birthday! I hope you’re not struggling with the heat as much as my pen is! Lots of love, John” The space between ‘pen’ and ‘is’ is not as pronounced anyone would like.
I am standing on stage in front of an animated backdrop featuring my music project’s Attack Of The Vapours logo, as per the alt text from the photo in this thread & performing a song called ‘Sunrise Of This Town’.
I am standing on a small stage full of drum kit, bass guitars, and various other musical paraphernalia belonging to the bands playing after me, with an animated backdrop behind me, displaying the ‘Attack Of The Vapours’ logo.
Black and white photo from the 80s for a large multi-storey car park for a Fine Fare supermarket. The building has diagonally slanted striped sections.
Panel 1: Jon, holding a jug of lemonade, offers Garfield a glassful, asking “See what you think of my lemonade, Garfield.” Panel 2: Garfield chugs the whole glass in one go as Jon looks on, smiling. Panel 3: Jon looks less pleased and asks Garfield: “Needs sugar?” Garfield, whose entire face from the nose downward has disappeared inside himself, thinks in reply: “Needs sugar.”
Bernie Clifton wearing his signature get-up that makes him look like he’s riding an ostrich.
A big green road sign. It reads: “Welcome to YOU-NEED-A-NEW BOILERVILLE, Population: ME, Please Drive Carefully”
Ominous photo of my reflection in a patio door window, with trees beyond and tree wallpaper behind me. The left side of the photo is filtered red, the right side is filtered blue.
A sponsored advert spotted while scrolling through YouTube, featuring featuring three white men cheerfully huddling with a black woman and an Asian woman, against the backdrop of the stars’n’stripes flag. Beneath this wholesome image (which DEFINITELY reflects the mood of the US entirely accurately right now) is the question: “Want to relocate to America?” to which the answer is clearly “Hahaha FUCK NO.”
Pornography investigation edit On 25 April 2022, a group of female Conservative MPs met with the Government Chief Whip Chris Heaton-Harris to complain about sexism in parliament. In the course of the discussion one female MP spoke out alleging that an unnamed male colleague had been watching pornography next to her in the House of Commons. Initial media reporting likewise did not name the MP.[28] Before he had been publicly identified as the accused MP, Parish was interviewed on GB News and said that the MP should be "dealt with and dealt with seriously".[29][30] On 29 April Parish had the Conservative whip withdrawn after being accused of watching pornography on a personal mobile phone in the Commons chamber.[31] Parish referred himself to the Commons Select Committee on Standards following the removal of the whip.[32] The allegation was made by a female Conservative minister, and later corroborated by another unnamed MP.[33]
Wikipedia snippet: “Green was appointed as Secretary of State for Work and Pensions by Prime Minister Theresa May in July 2016. Following the 2017 general election, he was promoted to First Secretary of State and Minister for the Cabinet Office. After the results of an inquiry into allegations that he sexually harassed a woman and viewed pornography on a work computer were published, it was found that he had breached the ministerial code and he was instructed to resign from the cabinet amidst the 2017 Westminster sexual misconduct allegations.[4] He became chair of the One Nation Conservatives caucus following the formation of Boris Johnson's government in July 2019. In January 2023, he became acting chair of the Digital, Culture, Media and Sport Committee after Julian Knight temporarily stood aside, and again in April 2023 after Knight resigned.”
Photograph of me playing a Fender Highway Parlour acoustic guitar & singing on a stage with a red cloth backdrop. It looks decidedly Twin Peaks-esque.
A reply I posted earlier, stating: “I feel gen AI makes even a well-intentioned message unwelcome as it’s held in a harmful regard, and it’s so widely unwanted that folks can spot AI a mile off & are on their guard with it. We need good messaging, but we need to stop using AI to do it, it’s a huge distraction from the message itself.” It’s been reposted by ‘Alkimo AI’.
Attack Of The Vapours promotional image for ‘Bars Attacks! Annual Invasion Festival 2026’, Artisan Tap, Saturday 6th June, 3:05pm. There is an inentionally grainy picture of me to the right hand side, playing a guitar.
Photograph of a front door, on which the note “PLEASE KNOCK LOUD” has been sellotaped.
By Kyle @KyleTrainEmoji: PICARD: Data, shields up DATA: Brilliant! Shields can reduce damage we sustain. Not immunity. Not hubris. Just prudence. It's not precaution—it's strategy. [camera shakes] WORF: HULL BREACHES ON NINE DECKS DATA: Here's what happened: you told me to raise shields, and I didn't
My friend from the pub’s dog, Buddy. He is sitting on the pub’s wooden floor, his front paws crossed like a thoughtful villain.
Mike Wozniak, sitting behind the microphone he uses to record the Three Bean Salad podcast, eyes closed in disgust and head raised to the ceiling, and exclaiming “OH COME ON, MATE.”
Tweets between a couple of “legitimate protesters”: Liam Tuffs @liamtuffs1 They'll be plants put in place today to try & disrupt a united gathering of British people, who are tired of being ignored.. today the only people who will be ignored will be those who attempt to sabotage a free speech festival of patriots - we will not react to morons! #UTK EK sjg @sjgshady87 Replying to @liamtuffs1 Yes but also not gonna just stand there and let someone hit us clike sum. P*ssy. So yes will be all quiet on western Front. But any f*cker touches anyone. And got right to. Defend yourself and kick. The living sh*t out the f*ckers end of.
Attack Of The Vapours (my music project) poster for Lymelight Festival - these is a photo me poking out of the right-hand side, next to the logo for AOTV and Lymelight Festival, and the words ‘6 Towns Radio Stage, Saturday 23rd May, 1PM’.
‘La famiglia Rana - Italy’s favourite fresh pasta - Tuscan Ragù Pappardelle - SERVES 2’
Why yes, it’s MEEE, in the driver’s side reflection of a car that has parked so close to my house, I’m merely thankful for the fact I was able to achieve egress. Also something about this feels quite deliberate.
A Magnum box for one of their ‘Signature’ series ice creams which, presumably due to their focus group being kidnapped and therefore unavailable, they have decided to call ‘Le Pistache’.
POV of a driver in a car. The driver is looking down at his partner’s torso and legs, and extending his left arm which has a right hand on the end of it, to place it reassuringly on her thigh.
A booking.com advert for a resort called “Riad les deux citronniers”, priced at £125. The image they have decided to go with on this advert shows trees and a pool in the background, while in the foreground is a questionable tree shaped like two legs sticking up in the air, with a distinctive ‘groin’ section.
My ship in Starfield, the Razorleaf. I discovered that there were some 2x2x2 double-decker ship modules I could use, and so wanted a much bigger interior, and also an exterior that had more of a W shape than an oblong. So I took some of the habitation units that were just plonked towards the back in a block formation, and made them come forwards on either side instead - two on the bottom level and two on the top. I then put some hull cowling panels on the top, to sit over one of the “arms” and protect them/make them more decorative. There were some sticky-up bits at the back which I’ve removed.
An elevated view of the front of my ship, the Razorleaf, in ‘Starfield’. I didn’t name the ship, I was awarded it at the end of a side quest, however it didn’t look like this when I acquired it, it was very small and narrow. After earning some more credits via missions & side quests, I took it to a shipyard, all but dismantled it, rearranged the parts, replaced several, added new ones, and made it into a large, 3-decked beauty with a large command module - honestly more of a bridge than a cockpit - and then spent DAYS refining it. The ship is overall dark grey, with a lot of very dark gold detail and occasional dark bergundy stripes. The large bridge module is at the front, and underneath it a front-opening entryway. Going back from there, we have a shield generator, and a series of ‘habs’ - modules containing an engineering section, an infirmary, science lab and crew quarters. Sweeping out at the sides we have two “wing” structures, one of which on the picture’s left houses a forward-facing communication antenna. Going to the back, we have the engines and landing gear.
Screenshot of ‘Leading Report’ tweeting Fox News’ Sean Hannity: “Fox News’ Sean Hannity wonders if Pope Leo XIV has ‘even read the Bible’ in response to his anti-conflict stance. ‘Has he ever heard of David and Goliath?’”
From Katie Rogers, White House reporter: While receiving a McDonald's food delivery to the Oval Office, the president told reporters that he posted a photo that depicted him as a robed, Jesus-like figure because he thought it had depicted him as a physician. "I thought it was me as a doctor"
Headline: “Conservative says ‘There should be a test to vote’ then immediately fails test”. The post sharing this reads “She wanted a test, and now she can’t vote. I don’t make the rules, she does.”
A serene woodland scene, with trees shrouded in mist, as ripples move outward in a river. Overlayed on this image are the words: “Do what YOU think is right, not what OTHER PEOPLE think is right. In the end, it’s you who goes through it, not them.”
Photo of Gal Gadot holding a microphone in her right hand and raising her left hand, and below it, the quote: “People are boycotting my movies just because I support Israel. Its not fair"
A ‘2026 SO FAR’ promo image for my music project ‘Attack Of The Vapours’, features a cloudy, inkswirly background, and an image of me singing to the right of the poster. Saturday 2nd May: Foundry Festival, Irish Woodman, Hanley, approx. 8:30pm Saturday 23rd May: Lymelight Festival, 6 Towns Radio Acoustic Stage, 1pm Saturday 6th June: BARS ATTACKS!, Artisan Tap, more details TBC
Absolutely godawfully shit post which has the thumbnail of a golden retriever being picked up by an elephant, in a zoo enclosure that the dog has found itself in. I have highlighted the last sentence for its godawfulness. “In a heart-stopping moment captured by zoo-goers on their smartphones, a golden retriever puppy found itself in a dangerous predicament when it tumbled into the Asian elephant enclosure at the city zoo. The grainy, handheld footage shows the exact moment the small dog fell from the observation deck, landing directly in the path of the massive 5-ton elephant. Panic erupted in the crowd as spectators braced for the worst, but the footage reveals a stunning display of animal empathy. The elephant approached the trembling puppy with surprising gentleness, using its trunk to carefully scoop up the canine. With a calm, measured movement, the giant lifted its trunk high toward the viewing railing, allowing a visitor to reach down and retrieve the uninjured puppy. The cheering from the onlookers is deafening as the crowd realizes the incredible, life-saving act they just witnessed. This video is created using AI, and the story is for your entertainment.”
London Headline “‘Andrew Neil condemns GB News for ‘turning into the Reform channel’” - featuring a photo of a surprisingly jug-eared, grumpy-looking Neil, and an inset image of Farage, no doubt in the middle of saying something hugely incorrect.
The Dune film poster logo featuring Chalamet and Zendaya in front of a huge sun, but the DUNE text says “Gary Sambrook eats big dinners”.
Side/rear view of the S.S. Eleos, Phoenix-class, NAR 59019.
My shelved floor lamp, with a model of the Intrepid-class USS Voyager flying alongside the Nova-class USS Equinox. Wouldn’t it have been nice if Captain Ransom hadn’t encouraged his crew to commit atrocities? That would have been a fun rest of the series with the Equinox accompanying them.
A model of USS Voyager from Star Trek on a dining table, in a stand, ventral view.
Headline post from The Independent, showing an image of Keir Starmer standing in front of two Union Jack flags while addressing the nation. Underneath, the ‘comment’ headline: “We should be grateful that ‘statesman Starmer’ is still in charge - this is why”. What’s not pictured is the weird little opinionless dickhead sweating his forehead into a coma after coming third in a by-election to Reform then Greens. Imagine his twitchy little face while he squints into your eyes and hisses that only he can keep at bay “the extremism of the right and the extremism of the left”, in response to a party that won an election on a promise of pushing for their constituents’ equality - yes folks, that - apparently - is the extremism of the left. Imagine being a human rights lawyer for years and then when you finally make it to PM, spending your time in office nervously propping up rogue states and throwing trans people & the disabled to the wolves in heady echoes of 2010-2015’s Tory governments, and expecting expecting anyone to take you seriously when your response to losing a by-election is to call everyone extremists & shit your pants. Do me a favour Keir, abandon your opinion polls (or at least read the ones that say something accurate about why you’re shedding voters like moulted cat fur), and fucking stand up for something that’s vaguely human-rightsy, so that the next time you say “we are a government of service” you’ve got five pins in hell’s worth of a chance of me believing it.
Twin Peaks title screen bearing the legend ‘Paddington Comes For Us All’.
Someone on BlueSky (who I would see doing this all the time on Twitter, sometimes with other people’s tweets) posts: “What’s a ‘boring’ skill that secretly gives someone a huge advantage in life?”
Another Twin Peaks title screen, this one reads: “followed by Food Preparation, with Jerry Horne”
Twin Peaks title screen, with the title: “How to navigate a nervous breakdown, with Ben Horne”
‘How Paddington Bear doing the Grim Reaper’s work became the ultimate tool for the Left to destroy our liberties’ Allister Heath The Telegraph Honest
‘Starmer’s zealous embrace of shitting into my personal bins is the greatest mistake in modern political history’ Allister Heath The Telegraph Honest
A young couple sit behind their thoroughly insulting caricature - it’s hard to tell if they’ve seen it yet, but the young man clutching his forehead suggests it has highlighted a pain point.
@AndieDelicacy giving an Alien Queen what-for with a power-loader.
Two Fender Highway Parlour guitars, framed by a painting, a radiator, and a Dilettante tote bag which reads “I’m Not Having Any Fun”. One guitar is in standard tuning, the other is in DADGAD tuning, because I cannot abide lengthy retuning mid-set.
The Manchester Apollo, where I first saw Neil Finn during his UK tour. It was my first lone outing to anywhere outside my hometown, mere weeks before I started university, and that afternoon I had been sitting on my jacket on a little grass clearing, reading a book. Two kids came to chat to me, and after they had gone I realised that they had stolen my wallet from out the exposed jacket. I stomped around the neighbourhood I’d seen them go into, but didn’t find them. I later found out that I had been marching angrily around Moss Side (a really dangerous part of town back then, not sure if that’s still the case now), and the people to whom I related this tale were in awe that I was still breathing. Anyhoo, they didn’t steal my coach ticket or my gig ticket, so I rang my folks using a 10p I still had in my pocket, they cancelled my debit card, I watched the show & caught my coach home. I left the Apollo resolving to learn to play guitar like Neil Finn, so a properly formative moment that I apparently miraculously survived to enjoy.
Me playing my new Fender Highway Parlour guitar in my dining room.
A Fender Highway Parlour guitar, sitting in a guitar stand - it’s super-slim guitar that still sounds nice unplugged, and feels somewhat like playing an electric guitar despite being acoustic.
A close up of a tub of wheyyyyy.
Five tubs of whey protein.