MrMustard

@mrmustard.bsky.social

317 Followers 322 Following

Fully paid up member of the Wokerati. Drinks beer to dull the pain of every team he supports being hopeless.

A white t-shirt with a blocky portrait of a creepy ventriloquist’s dummy surrounded by the words ‘THANK YOU, MORIARTY’ Beer gut is model’s own.
A book called The Loney sits on a wooden table. The cover features a black crow in flight with spatters of red around the eye and one wing. It isn’t pretty. The authors name, Andrew Michael Hurley, is in all caps across the top along with a quote saying ‘the new master of menace’ from the Sunday Times. That’s the only bit I’m not keen on to be honest, but I probably shouldn’t editorialise in an alt text description of a book cover.
A green and black beer can with ‘Cloudwater’ and ‘Supercharged’ in silver lettering. There’s also a pic of the Cloudwater logo - which is basically a cloud on some water - with a party hat on.
A pint of golden ale in a straight glass on a wooden table.
The front window of a bus, top deck, but it’s all steamed up so you can’t see a thing.
Your 2026 word is ‘sultry’
A paragraph of text from Espedair Street by Iain Banks. It’s a thing of beauty. A work of art.
A can of ‘You Win!’ By Pressure Drop next to a glass with the beer in it. The can is pink and decorated with pictures of fruit; an apple, a pineapple, a banana, an orange, two cherries on a stem and something that looks like a cross section of a grapefruit maybe. I dunno. I’m not a fruit expert. The beer is hazy and golden and in a small two thirds of a pint glass. In the background is a Pressure Drop brewery sign and a fridge stocked with their beers. It’s the taproom, basically.
A pasty hand holding a can of Two Swans, a beer by East London Brewing Co. In the background is a football pitch.
A vast expanse of open countryside with not a person or house in sight. The sky is cloudy and grey.
A glass of beer next to a can of Pressure Drop Cheese.
A queue of traffic viewed through the front window of the top deck of a bus. The window is smeared with rain meaning the view is foggy at best.
A glass of dark beer next to a can of Gather Your Fears from Pentrich.
A book with the title ‘I See Buildings Fall Like Lightning’ in yellow type on a backdrop of a black and white photograph of a tower block. The author’s name, Kieran Goddard, is at the bottom.
A weird looking can with an alien on the front.
A Hackney Brewery glass of beer next to a can of Potato Paradox by Azvex.
A book, Springfield Road: A Poet’s Childhood Revisited, sits on a wooden table next to a pint glass about two thirds full of hazy pale ale. The book cover features a small photograph of a child looking directly at the camera.
A Hackney Brewery branded two thirds glass next to a can of Whale Sharks by Verdant. The can label is yellow but has a black shape on the front with the name of the beer in yellow lettering. The background is just a bunch of can labels.
A copy of The First Circle by Alexander Solzhenitsyn on a wooden table next to an almost finished pint of pale ale. The book cover is black with the title in orange block capitals. At the bottom, also in orange, is the text, ‘Winner of the Nobel Prize 1970’.
An (at least) second hand copy of ‘The First Circle’ by Alexander Solzhenitsyn on a table next to a pint of Backstage IPA in a Signature Brew branded glass.
A metallic grey shipping container with ‘TORY BOX’ written in bold white capital letters on the outside. The open door hints that an ‘S’ may be hidden.
A snippet from the Guardian website featuring a black and white photo of the Gallagher bother and with the headline 'Oasis have 'no plan for any new music', says band manager'.
A beer pump with an oval clip advertising a beer called Lay Down My Bones at 4.8%. Around the edge is the name of the brewery, Queer Brewing, and the beer style, American Brown Ale. At the top of the clip is a hand and forearm which one can only describe as limp wristed. The background is very dark brown, much like the beer and the writing is sort of gold.
A close up of the cover of The Age of Surveillance Capitalism by Shoshana Zubhoff. The subtitle is The Fight for a Human Future at the New Frontier of Power. The book cover is white with black all caps text apart from the subtitle which is printed in gold, although that too is all caps.
A copy of The Dangers of Smoking in Bed by Mariana Enriquez next to a lovely pint of beer on a wooden table.
A tube station sign at Nine Elms station saying that the next trains are in 13, 18 and 30 minutes.
A flight of three beers sat on a wooden table. The beer on the left and the one in the middle look identical, like the hazy pale ales they are, but trust me, they are different. The one on the right is a stout. Behind the flight you can sort of see an unlit candle in a green glass holder and a green tote bag that those in the know would be able to identify as coming from the Exale Brewery.
A wooden flight paddle containing four beers sat on a wooden table in the sunshine. From left to right the beers are a reddish colour, a black stout with creamy white head, a hazy golden ale and finally a clear gold beer.
View from the front seat of the top deck of the number 55 bus. Ahead is a traffic light (red), a box junction and beyond that a puny single decker bus headed in the opposite direction.
A traditional dimpled pint glass with a dark golden beer in it. Behind it are kegs branded for the Five Points Brewing Co.
A pint of hazy golden beer in a Hackney Church Brew Co glass on a wooden table. In the background is an illuminated Hackney Church Brew Co sign on a bar with beer taps.
On the left an empty bottle of Highland Park 12 year old Viking Honour Single Malt Scotch Whisky. On the right a copy of The Age of Surveillance Capitalism subtitled The Fight for a Human Future at the New Frontier of Power by Shoshana Zuboff. It’s quite a bad photo to be fair. Almost like the person taking it has been drinking.
A can of Hallowed Grounds next to a Hackney Brewery branded glass full of jet black beer with a centimetre of frothy, white head. The can is decorated with a crude drawing of a skeleton in black and white. The backdrop is all beer can labels.
A Hackney Brewery branded glass with a dark amber coloured beer. It sits on a table of light wood.
A pint of Redemption Trinity in a plastic pint cup on a wooden table next to a London 2025 Beer Passport.
Close up of a TV screen with the following statement written in blue writing on a shocking pink background: “After a disastrous 83 days in charge, Wayne Rooney was sacked as manager of Gotham City.”
A brand new, paperback copy of the book ‘The Dangers of Smoking in Bed’ by Mariana Enriquez. The cover is brown with a nightmarish drawing of a woman’s face with a tongue coming out of one eye socket with a cigarette wrapped in the end of it. A thumb is being poked into the other eye socket and there is an extra eye in the middle of the forehead. Told you it was nightmarish.
Two pints of beer, one a hazy gold (left) the other a darker amber, stand on a bar underneath a row of taps of 40 FT beer.
A murky beer in a straight Verdant pint glass next to a can of Putty 2025. The can is pink with the name of the beer in green letters seemingly made from putty.
A shot of pinky red sky over a hillside with some outlines of trees. In the foreground is a green lawn and then a narrow road.
A pint of Serge, a golden ale, held up in front of the SALT taproom bar in Deptford. The beer is a straight glass with SALT branding.
A pale, cloudy pint of beer in a straight glass being held up in a pasty hand with the taproom bar in the background.
A glass of thick, juicy, orange beer with a decent white head next to a can called A Long Drive which seems to show the moon on a golf tee.
A full pint of 1853 ESB from Beerblefish on a wooden trestle table next to a copy of Hugging Strangers by Jon Berry. The book is subtitled ‘The frequent lows and occasional highs of football fandom’.
One adorable, handsome face and a close up of a dog.
A two thirds glass of very dark beer next to a can of ‘Is It About My Cube’ by Pentrich. The can has a s’more sandwich lit from behind.
A pint of Rise in a Hammerton branded glass on a wooden table. A decent swig has been taken from the pint by a very thirsty boy.
A round 2/3rd glass of clear golden beer ok a round wooden table. Through the window behind it you can see the canal and the buildings on the other side.
The lower part of a bottle with an illustrated label of a raven on a chess board.
A can of Saturated in Motueka by Deya being held up against a grey kitchen unit. The can is a sort of orangey pink colour and features a crocodile squeezing a hop over its own head.
A glass of dark beer with zero head next to a can of Sacred Oath BA Coolship Barleywine. The can is decorated with a weird picture of a bald woman’s head with a snake wrapping itself around it.
A Verdant glass with Verdant beer next to a can of Verdant Comfort Settings.
A can of Chocolate Moose imperial pastry stout next to a glass of the same beer. The can is decorated with a picture of a moose made out of mousse. The beer is black with a very thin beige head. The can and glass stand on and in front of cardboard boxes covered with beer can labels.
A glass of murky, hazy orange-ish beer next to a can of Double Dream Tempo from Pentrich. The beer and can are stood on top of and in front of cardboard boxes completely covered with labels from other beer cans.
A can of After Dinner by Polly’s held up in front of a Christmas tree. The can is green.
A slightly crumpled t-shirt on a slightly crumpled body that says ‘Ho Ho Ho’ on it but each of the Os is an anthropomorphised brussel sprout. Wearing a Santa hat.
A can of Daemon Engine by Azvex which has a kind of steampunk robot on it stands next to a glass of that same beer which looks orange.
A Northern Monk branded glass of black beer with a thin white head next to a can of Very Big Moose from Fierce Beer. The can is black with a hop styled to look a bit like a face in gold.
A juicy beer next to a can of the same.
A can of Anthology 2021, a 9% imperial stout held up in front of a beautifully decorated Christmas tree.