Anthony Clark

@nedroid.com

13226 Followers 302 Following

The cartoonist, not the “Yes, Dear” guy Nedroid.com

A kitten trapped in a dark and empty crawlspace containing only a creepy basket, which he sat in
A warning placard on a door, with a graphic depicting a hand being crushed between gears “CAUTION WATCH YOUR FINGERS AND YOUR HANDS”
“Toothpaste but for your other bones.”
The game board unfolded with cards, cubes and pieces strewn about
A bag of Werther’s Original candies
GUY EATING CANDY: this candy reminds me of something… GUY (looks at bag, sees it is labeled “Werther’s Derivative”): oh
My dog with a giant branch in his mouth
TOWNSPERSON: Oh no! A tornado is going to destroy the town! Help us, Tornado Man! TORNADO MAN: Never fear! I'll simply use my Mastery of the Winds to create an ANTI-TORNADO, spinning the opposite direction, to completely negate the original tornado! TOWNSPERSON (obscured): Won't the anti-tornado destroy the town too? TORNADO MAN: What? TOWNSPERSON (obscured): Won't the anti-tornado destroy the town too?!? TORNADO MAN (obscured): I can't hear you!!!
A Curious Sight ...and there, on the street, among the Ford Focuses and Nissan Elantras, was a curious sight: a stage-coach, tethered to a pair of proud horses, one jet black and the other a velvety brown. "I'll bet your names are Ebony and Mahogany, " Cool Anthony said. "Their names are Dumper and Fremp, " grunted the driver. "Oh, " said Cool Anthony, immediately cancelling his attempt to pet one of the horses. "H-hello, Dumper." The driver scowled. "That's Fremp!"!
Me, befuddled
Mr Caruthers is at his desk at work, grumpy. CARUTHERS: I want to go to the beach… but I have to be the boss of work. He considers, then gets on the intercom. CARUTHERS: attention employees… work will be at the beach today. Mr. Caruthers is now at his desk at the beach under a big umbrella, finally happy, forever.
CAPTION: I have joined the cast of the hit HBO medical drama 'The Pitt' DR ANTHONY: And that's how you perform an emergency recapitation. VARIOUS DOCTORS: Good job, Dr. Anthony What a great doctor Never seen such a good doctor OFFSCREEN DOCTOR (offering handshake): I am proud to be your attending doctor, as well as your friend I respect you (fades out of the dream, showing real Anthony on a stretcher being pushed by EMTs) EMT: Patient swallowed two frisbees. Get the frisbee grabbing machine, stat
A St Pius X church sign announcing an SPX Senior Fellowship Event. SPX can also mean Small Press Expo. This is very funny, trust me
A cartoon drawing of a scrungly blonde shih-tzu mix dog named Todd
(Beartato and Reginald, in a museum, gaze upon the Mona Lisa) BEARTATO: There it is. The Mona Lisa. The most famous painting in history. REGINALD: Wow! What's it do? BEARTATO: It... what? REGINALD: Why's it famous? What's it do? (Beartato thinks.) BEARTATO: I don't know. REGINALD (to nearly museum employee): Excuse me! Sir? What's it do? EMPLOYEE: You're the first person to ask! Watch this! (The employee yanks a pull-string. Mona Lisa's eyes spin around and her mouth opens like a puppet) MONA LISA: Honk honk! Honk honk! (Everyone is delighted. This is true art.)
A cardboard box with a logo that says FUGGLER
A skull with glasses floating in a tube of purple nutritive goo upon a robotic body with four tentacle-like legs, bobbing back and forth in an idle animation
A cartoon guy with spiky hair and his hands on his hips. His t-shirt has a lightning bolt on it. He looks dumb as heck. This is Grunbo.
Steve Martin holding a phone receiver by the very tippy tips of his fingers
My dog, who is the color of pumpkin pie, with his tongue out licking his own nose. Like a scooby-doo.
A rotating 3d word “COOL”
A 3d rendered egg with three instances of the word EGG spinning around it on loop
CAPTION: My first day as a dentist ME (removing tooth): And there we go! All done. ASSISTANT: Doctor, that was a load-bearing tooth (The patient's dead explodes, scattering teeth everywhere)
(Beartato and Reginald are reading books on Sailors' Wisdom) REGINALD: "Red sky at night, sailors delight." BEARTATO: "Red sky at morning, sailors take warning." REGINALD: "Red sky at dawn, a storm's coming on." BEARTATO: "Red sky at noon, a storm's coming soon." REGINALD: "Red sky at dusk? That counts as night. Refer to previous wisdom, all right?" REGINALD: "Red sky tomorrow fills sailors with sorrow." BEARTATO: "Red sky today? That's prob'ly okay." REGINALD: "Red sky on the ground: you're upside-down." BEARTATO: "Reader beware, you're in for a scare." Oops, wrong book. REGINALD (tossing book away): I'm getting nothing. BEARTATO: Same. (They peed outside. Turns out they were on a boat! The sky is swirling purples and greens with some yellow orange spirals). REGINALD: Curse you, sailors
My dog (Meatball) wearing a costume that looks like spaghetti and meatballs. He is very perturbed.
(Reginald is floating in the air following a scent trail, like Toucan Sam) BEARTATO: Whoa! What are you doing? REGINALD: Barbecue law states that if I follow a scent to its grill, the griller has to give me a hot dog. C'mon! (Reginald continues floating. Beartato follows along) REGINALD: Oh boy oh boy! (They reach the source of the scent. Harrison is on fire.) REGINALD (disappointed): Awww man!
A photo of my phone screen, currently charged to 109%
JOSH: Welcome to Ska Music Town, the town where we love ska music above all else! JOSH: Don't get me wrong. We like other kinds of music too. Sometimes even more than ska music, ha ha! JOSH: In fact, some of us don't even like ska music at all! So why's it called ska music town? JOSH: WHY'S IT CALLED SKA MUSIC TOWN?!?
Dennis Reynolds saying “The most cutting thing you can say is ‘who's this clown,’ because of the implications”
REGINALD: Hello, 911? Yes, my friend put on the mask from The Mask and now he's acting abnormally. BEARTATO (green): "I'M SSSSSMOKING!" REGINALD: Green, yeah. Real cartoony. Yeah, he's saying all the lines but he's not getting them right. BEARTATO (spinning in a tornado): "SOMEBODY PLEASE STOP ME!" REGINALD: I see. And that's the only solution? Mm hmm. No, I understand. Thank you. BEARTATO (hitting self with large mallet): "OH, BEHAVE!" REGINALD (shedding a tear while loading a shotgun) BEARTATO (dreamworks face): "DO *NOT* GO IN THERE!"
REGINALD (holding Beartato back as he tries to add salt into a mixing bowl): Beartato, no!!! That’s a *finishing* salt! BEARTATO (furious): I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!!!
REGINALD: What do you *mean* I'm not charismatic? I *ooze* charisma! REGINALD (dripping liquid): Look! I'm oozing *right now!* REGINALD (gesturing to approaching group of people) And it's attracting women from all around! GROUP OF WOMEN: Do you need a doctor I'm a doctor Doctor Doctor here
A drawing of babadook from memory. He’s got a big toothy grin and sunken eyes and wild hair and a top hat. It kind of looks like beetlejuice. Lots to think about.
A white Chevy SUV with a rear window sticker reading: “MILF’N ain’t easy”
My dog but he’s a digimon. He’s very beefy (normal) and has all the digimon stuff. A chain around his neck, gross popping veins, a skull tattoo, a ragged ribbon that floats around his tail. He has pants somehow. Just rad as heck.
TOASTER: I’m the brave little toaster! (It ejects toast) TOAST: I fear the unknown. (The toast continues on its trajectory, escaping earth’s orbit and heading towards mars.) FIVE YEARS LATER: The toast decapitates a Martian. THE END!
Plush Beartato in two sizes
Slips of paper with names on them including Fireball, Gurt, Wheelie, Ghost Knife, and Mr. Scream
Covers of various minicomics by many friends and artists from past conventions. I’m sorry but I don’t have it in me to catalogue every individual title.
A grotesque amalgam of donkey Kong and my dog meatball with the word BANANA in the background
"There are three kinds of magic," said Wizzler, handing us each a balloon. "You can control tigers, you can shoot tornadoes from your fingers, or you can fly by holding your breath. The color of confetti inside your balloon will reveal which kind of power you have." I felt the panic rising in me. What if my confetti turned yellow, indicating that I was a Tiger-Talker? My family, a long line of proud Tornado-Fingers, would disown me. Could I ever return home, bearing such shame? I tried to calm myself as I readied the ceremonial safety pin. Green, I thought, willing my hopes into reality. Please be green. I popped the balloon, involuntarily shutting my eyes. When I opened them, would I see the green I hoped for? The yellow I feared? What if, gods forbid, the confetti were blue? I opened my eyes, seeing shock on the faces of my classmates. Wizzler himself stared at me, wide-eye. Looking down, I saw myself covered in confetti... purple confetti.
COWBOY WITH LARGE HAT: The law is simple in Cowboy Town. Whoever has the biggest hat gets to be the sheriff. MAN WITH LOTS OF FRINGES: No! It's whoever has the most fringes! (the two argue and fight): Hat! Fringes! Hat! Fringes!! (from off panel): Stop! MAN WITH VERY LARGE HORSE: Both of you are under arrest
a hand-drawn logo-style graphic reading "BORF"
A bottle of Softsoap hand soap. The label features sliced limes and flowers. Inconsistently bolded text intertwined with the graphics reads “WILD BASIL & LIME”
Doctor: well, mr. henderson, your labs are back, and frankly they're incredible. have you been doing anything differently? diet or exercise? Mr. “Henderson”: well, doc, i recently came upon a mysterious orb in the woods, obsidian black and colder than ice. dirt would not stick to it, nor would moss grow around it. upon touching it, i left the coil of the mortal world and became something like a human, and yet no longer human. Doctor: hmmm, yes. we've been seeing that alot
SHERIFF: Well, it happened. "Anime" has hit Cowboy Town. SHERIFF: Old Tex got it the worst. OLD TEX (anime form): PLEASE... SHERIFF... USE "THAT"...! SHERIFF: I will, Tex... I will. (Tex closes his eyes as Sheriff cocks his gun)
A close up of my dog, straight on with 0.5 zoom. His schnozz looks huge. His tongue is out and he’s cute as heck. It’s insane how cute he is.
Some kind of empty shelving along the side of the street with handwritten masking tape labels: UNI-STRUT ALL PIPES LONG LEGS LONG LEGS
A paper shopping bag with a label near the handle reading “PULL UP NOT OUT”
A high up photo of the Vessel in New York, with lots of angled stairways and a glowing blue circle at the bottom
CAPTION: My first day as a member of Blue Man Group: ME: Oh no ME (painted yellow): Oh I messed up bad BLUE MAN GROUP, enraged, judges me (silently)
A drawing of the space monster Chewbonka, filthy brown fur and all, hands on hips, with his famous bandolier.
CAPTION: it’s my first day as a member of Pentatonix. ME: Aw geez guys. Im so sorry ME (regretfully): I forgot my instruments (Pentatonix, enraged, chases me with pitchforks and Frankenstein torches. I am never seen again)
A half-cowboy half-Mars Monster. Which is basically a Mars Monster with cowboy clothes and a mustache.
MAN WITH CHILD: Show us your power, Shrink-Man! SHRINK-MAN: Watch this! (Shrink-Man shrinks) man: Very nice. Okay, change back. Shrink-Man (smally): do what now
BE CAREFUL IN COWBOY TOWN! There are five major socioeconomic classes in Cowboy Town, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. Use this handy chart to help you keep track! (A complicated mess of a chart with various arrows pointing between Cowboys, Horses, Samurais, Old-Timey Magicians, and Mars Monsters)
A simple comic depicting a simple cowboy dispensing simple cowboy wisdom. COWBOY: Here in Cowboy Town we welcome cowboys of all kinds COWBOY: Pardners, desperados, samurais... COWBOY: For what is a samurai if not a japanese kind of cowboy
A photo of the Indianapolis morning news with the headline “LAWRENCE POLICE SHOOT PERSON WITH A GUN”
Three indistinct blobby creatures trapped inside a multicolored cube with the text “No One Escapes… the Tuesdaycube”
Portrait of the artist as a skull floating in a vat of purple fluid atop some sort of quadrupedal robot body