Tom Hawkins

@nekomatic.bsky.social

641 Followers 321 Following

Wait, what are you doing here? Who let you in?

Argos order status screen showing that my order is scheduled for delivery between 07.30 and 21.00 today, but at 20.59 has not yet been delivered
Green Party leaflet for the Greater Manchester mayoral election with a bar chart showing Reform 35%, Green 29%, Labour 29% and Others 7%. Small print below the chart says ‘Graph shows voting intention of residents surveyed in Greater Manchester from 3/7/26 to 10/7/26 - 3,223 sample size, weighted to population across Greater Manchester’
A residential street by night. On the far side of the road there is a parked car. On the near side, in the foreground, there is a drainage grid and next to it a small hedgehog.
Richard Wilson’s 20:50, an art installation in which visitors come within centimetres of getting their elbows or handbags covered in used engine oil
Shawm Connery, celebrating (from https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/past-times/4232053/byre-theatre-st-andrews/)
Reposted by iambic.bot Baltasar "He Bangs" En.. @blkrepa... • 4h The Nazis leave to see another day Reposted by iambic.bot ... @ricardo-owens.bsky.social • 5h are they about to take that goal away?
astronaut pointing gun at other astronaut ‘always has been’
Map of the British Isles with horizontal lines dividing it into North, Midlands and South, at the latitudes of Cheadle and Newport respectively
An email in my spam folder contents from ‘Gianna Wood’ with the title ‘Hey, I’m 28 to 35’.
Two signs on a concrete pillar which adapt the standard male and female toilet symbols with chevrons to show that the women’s is upstairs and the men’s is to the right, but it looks like the woman has a roof over her head and the man is shooting a bow and arrow
A black and white cat sits in loaf position on a garden patio (which needs weeding, i know) carefully watching the low wall at the back of it, in case the mouse pops its head out of one of the drainage holes again, Tom and Jerry style
A white cloud, in a blue sky above red brick buildings, which on a generous interpretation is sort of the shape of France
A white walled room in which various artworks are displayed: a dark grey canvas, a stick leaning away from the wall at an angle, some strap-like things in ceramic hanging on another wall, a crumpled builder’s bag in the middle of the floor, and so on
A view over Stromness harbour and town from a departing ferry: jetty in the foreground, water beyond then moored boats and buildings
A memorial stone displayed in Kirkwall cathedral, with skull and crossbones
A new Glasgow Subway train. It’s so wee!
Sign above a campsite sink reading Ensure taps have stopped running before leaving LIFT & TWIST
Royal blue t-shirt with ‘Margaret Calvert’ in small white print across the chest set in Calvert’s ‘Transport’ typeface, hanging in front of a bedroom mirror
Screenshot from the Flickr ‘110 Format’ group page, with text including ‘1,226 Members • 12.7K Photos • 110 Discussions’
Two small black cameras on a bamboo desk top: a Rollei 35 B and a Pentax Auto 110
In a narrow bar with a high ceiling and spherical lamps. The bar is on the right with a row of beer taps and a blackboard on the wall above. On the left is an arched window. A woman with auburn hair in a royal blue hoody faces the camera but her face is hidden by her mobile phone
The band Nubiyan Twist on stage at New Century Manchester, lit in red on the centre and right and green on the left
Boot screen of an HP laptop with a wolf logo and the text ‘PROTECTED BY HP WOLF SECURITY’
Ella Minnow Pea by Mark Dunn
Uncle Lubin (in an excessively tall hat) clings to the upper point of the crescent moon as he waves goodbye to nephew Peter who is being carried off in the beak of the Bagbird, while his (Uncle Lubin’s) balloon hangs from the lower point of the crescent moon which has punctured it
Vacuum cleaner wand with new end attachment (smiley emoji) next to old end attachment (thumbs down emoji)
James on stage at the Co-op Live arena
Statue of Abraham Lincoln in Lincoln Square, Manchester, in afternoon sunlight. The windows of the modern building behind reflect another red brick building. There is a pigeon sitting on Lincoln’s head.
Lower left corner of a black computer keyboard. The Windows key cap has come off and is loose in front of it.
Aerial view from maps app showing Canal Street lower left and Hempshaw Brook upper right, which is fairly straight
A black and white cat beside her food bowl looking indignant that she is not being FED.
Chris Morris reading the headlines on The Day Today
Sample Windows dialogue box with text ‘Modal error message You must stop what you are doing and acknowledge me now Click Close to certify that you have read me carefully. Close’
Screenshot from Microsoft Teams with a red banner reading ‘We need you to sign in again.’ Left of the text is a red circle with a white X in it, which is NOT A BUTTON.
Bob Mortimer reading from a card on Would I Lie To You
Kenny Everett, who made this joke in the 1980’s
The platform sign for Deansgate station, but it says ‘Olivia Deansgate’
Post by Dan Kaszeta ‘The UK produces hundreds of excellent cheeses.’ Then blue text ‘View full thread’ Then another post by Dan Kaszeta ‘And more than a few henchwomen’
Screenshot of Met Office app rainfall map in landscape
Riot Jazz on stage at Manchester Albert Hall: (l-r) 3 trumpets, guest vocalist, drummer, vocalist, sousaphone, 3 trombones, under blue spotlight beams
Illustration from the Ladybird book of The Princess and the Pea, in which the Princess is in a four-poster bed on top of a stack of different mattresses, and no doubt involving several different sets of bed linen
A yellow articulated lorry with the legend DISCORDIA in large red capitals on the side
Two Clangers, one of whom is peering through a telescope
A panel from the 1992 Deadline strip FATAL CHARM by D’israeli, in which Jak Fatal says ‘There are two concepts Jak Fatal won’t recognise - “defeat” and “too much custard”’
View of a street from inside a restaurant. A dilapidated red brick commercial building with boarded up arches at street level then several stories of full height windows above. Pink neon is reflected in the window.
Screenshot of phone playing Conlon Nancarrow’s Studies for Player Piano
Dear Dave, The Angry Corrie: Could you arrange that your distribution department take our magazine off the list for receiving a complimentary copy of the above. We are having to cut down the amount of unnecessary mail being sent to us. Best wishes, Cameron McNeish Editor-in-chief, TGO
View of houses in a street at night. The sky is somewhat cloudy and appears grey in the photo but a faint red glow is apparent just above the rooftops.
Scene from the film Metropolis in which a man is desperately trying to adjust controls while the level of a thermometer-type indicator rises inexorably
A line of musical notation. Sorry I’ve not transcribed it into text
A smoked salmon and cream cheese, a.k.a. New York, bagel, sliced in half on its paper wrap.
Two Bluesky bleets rebleeted by @iambic.bot: Gene Grey @sapphireskyys.bsky.soc... • 1h It's giving pizza wings and fries tonite by iambic.bot MobiQuotes @mobiquotes.bsky.so... • 10h The path of prayer is forever bright.
Principal Skinner meme: “IS MY NIGHT VISION GETTING WORSE WITH AGE? NO, IT MUST BE THE HEADLIGHTS THAT ARE TOO BRIGHT NOWADAYS.”
An oven dish containing pieces of a cauliflower with its leaves. The cauliflower florets are mauve.
The portion of the album track listing that reads: 8. I'm Not In Love with Brandon Flowers 9. It's Only Love with Julian Lennon 10. Try To Sleep with Debbie Harry
Wayne and Garth lying on their backs on a car looking up at the night sky, from Wayne’s World
Charing Cross, London, in front of Charing Cross station. (Photo: Network Rail)
Torso selfie with Geezer band T-shirt (illustration by Philip Bond)